Hi everyone. There were some posts on my last thread that I wanted to respond to, but just haven't found the time. Right now, I just need to post an update.
I'm kicking my 90 day goal/timeline whatever you want to call it. It was an illusion, and wasn't working for me in the way that I wanted it to anyway.
----- UPDATE Part I
I'm not even sure what my last update was. So I will start with July 1st.
July 1 - My daughter flew into town. She is here visiting me from Alabama until July 28th. W came back from Philly on June 30 and was driving to Aspen for a show on the today. We talked briefly. She called to see if my D had arrived safely.
______
July 2 - W's show in Aspen was an overnight one. I had not asked W if OM was on this show. I hadn't heard from W by 1:30 p.m. and freaked out for some reason. I called W but she did not answer. A little later, she texted me to let me know that she was driving home, that she had to stop in Vail to drop a bandmate (not OM) off for another gig that he had. She said that she was going to have some lunch in Vail and was trying to get back into Denver so that she could have dinner with me and my D.
I called W at 5:30 bc I had not heard from her. We talked briefly, but she said that she couldn't hear me bc cell phone reception bad.... that she was still driving and would call me back.
30 minutes later or so, W called me back. She was about 30 minutes from home. We began to talk about her show. I began to ask questions about who was there, her hotel arrangements etc.
W stopped me and asked why I was interrogating her. I said, 'why do you think W?' She then said that it was weird that I was asking her about this specific show when I had not asked her anything about the 2 shows that she had the weekend before, and that I had not asked her anything while we were 'taking space apart' the past 2 weeks. She then asked me if I was 'stalking' her. I said that I wasn't and asked her why she would say that. She admitted that OM was on the Aspen show the night before. She said that he hadn't been on the 2 shows the weekend before, and I hadn't asked. That it was weird that he was on this show and I interrogated her.
I said that I hadn't been 'stalking' her. That I was freaking out bc it was an overnight show. I told her 'if you can't understand why I wouldn't be paranoid and wonder, I don't know what to tell you.' I was upset that she didn't tell me that OM was on the show. I told her that I didn't completely trust her. That I want to trust her again, and that I was trying, but that, right now, I don't. She didn't respond to that.
She told me that she didn't bring it up bc I had told her on Father's Day a couple of weeks before that I didn't need her to let me know when OM was on a show, that I trusted her. So, she said, she didn't bring it up. I agreed that I had indeed said that, but that I had thought a lot over the past couple weeks too, and that I would appreciate if she would tell me.
I told her that if she tried understanding my hurt and my position with all of this, that it would go a long way towards me trusting her again. She said that she didn't know if she could do that bc she believes that it is my fault that OM is even in the picture at all.
W met me and my D for dinner. We drove separately bc she had to leave from the restaurant to go pick SS up from airport as he was returning from California from visiting his dad. She mentioned the possibility of meeting up again after she picked SS up. I told her that 'maybe' we could, but that it would be late.
Throughout dinner, I was distant. I had become angry since our telephone convo about OM being on show and her not telling me. She showed D some pics from the her show and some pics of her trip to Philly. I was not interested in looking at them and didn't pretend to be. As W showed D, she would then lean over the table to show me. I just looked without comment.
After W picked up SS from airport, she called. She said that SS wanted to see D and wanted to know if they should come over to our/my house. I told her that it was late and that they could see each other the next day. She told me that SS was wound up and really wanting to come over for a few minutes to see D and me. I finally relented and told them to come over.
W and SS showed up. I hugged SS, told him that I missed him, and talked to him about his trip. W and I then went onto back porch. We let the kids play.
I had decided that I was going to 'act as if' I was okay and completely happy while SS and W were at the house.
W and I had a drink and we talked about her trip to Philly. We were getting along quite well.
I ended up having a few drinks.
The topic of conversation went from her trip to Philly to her show in Aspen the night before.
W told me that OM was there. That the band had 'partied as a group' but that OM had gotten a migraine and wasn't around for much of it. I asked her again about her hotel arrangements. She told me that she had a room to herself.
I then asked her about her trip back today. She said that she had dropped a horn player by the name of Nate off in Vail... she then very casually that she had had lunch with OM in Vail and headed home. She then continued to talk about something ... don't remember what.
I said, 'wait, what did you just say?' She said again that she had had lunch with OM in vail after dropping Nate off.
I flew off the handle. I confirmed with her that OM had commuted back to Denver with her... she then told me that he had commuted up to Aspen with her as well.
She told me that the company had set up the travel arrangements and pay only a certain # of drivers... this is true.... she told me that this had been arranged for her.. that most of the band goes up earlier than she does (as a pure vocalist with nothing to set up)... that she always commutes with either the horn players (OM is a horn player) or the dancers who also go up later than the rest of the band. I vaguely remember that this has been true in the past, so I pretty much believe W on this.
I told her that I was not comfortable with her commuting with OM. That I thought that I had been clear that I was not going to stick around if she had any R with OM other than incidental contact at occasional shows.
I told her that I thought that this was a complete violation of the conditions that I had told her that I was comfortable with back on June 3rd.
I asked W if anything happened with OM. She said 'no'.
W then reiterated that this was her part of her job. She then asked me how many lawyers and judges that I have had sex with in the past, before her. W knows that I have had R's with some women who are lawyers and/or judges (my ex is a judge). She then said, 'what if I told you that you could not be in the same courthouse as any of these women? I told said, 'I don't commute with them to the courthouse W, it is different.'
I told W that she was going to have to talk to the owner of the company and tell him to not book her on shows with OM. That I was no longer comfortable with it. At this point, I was not happy, and I was speaking with anger. The first time that I have spoken to W this way since before she left me.
W got p!ssed at this point. Told me that I am in no position to demand anything of her. Told me that I an controlling. That she doesn't want to be around me because I am controlling... that it makes her want nothing to do with me.
I told her that I was not trying to be controlling. She said, 'Denver, you are a very controlling person.'
I said, 'I'm sorry that I don't feel comfortable that my W is going to have contact with someone who she has slept with during our M!'
W went off again how it is my fault that OM is in her life at all and how my actions during our M were infidelity... I won't repeat this stuff as it has been noted here before.
I told her that her dating OM during our S was cheating and that it was wrong. W said that lots of people 'date' when they are separated.
We were both very angry at this point.
At some point, I asked how it was spending time with OM during the commute was for her. She said that it was kind of weird, but that it reminded her how much she liked having OM around.
At some point, W told me that she hadn't had contact with OM in weeks, since our conversation on June 3rd. Not sure whether or not to believe her... but I guess that she had no reason to lie about this.
At some point, W reiterated that I had told her that she didn't need to tell me when OM was on a show with her and that is why she didn't tell me. She also mentioned that OM is not on any shows with her in July that she knows of.
At some point, W said that when we had our conversation on June 3rd, after the OM on toilet incident, that she was probably being unrealistic and I was as well. I asked her what she meant. She said that she can agree not to have contact with OM, not to hang out with him or to talk to him, but that it is unrealistic to think that her feelings are just going to go away. I asked her, 'then how is this going to work W?' She said, 'I don't know.' I said, 'how do you think that these feelings are going to go away then?' She said, 'I don't know. With time I suppose.'
Some of the above is listed out of order as it happened in the actual convo. W was angry when she left, as was I. And I was fairly buzzed from drinking.
As W was getting ready to leave, SS came outside onto the back porch where I was sitting. He asked me why his mom and I were arguing. I told him the truth. That W had driven to her show with OM. SS said, 'we haven't seen OM since that day that you found him at our house.' I told him that I knew that, but that W had seen him that day. He said, 'you need to forget about that. You need to just get back together.' I told him that his mom didn't seem to want that.
I don't need a 2x4 about what I said to SS. I know I f'd up by telling him anything. He is 12 years old and doesn't need to be involved. At the time, I just felt like I wasn't going to lie to him about his mom's b.s. It was a mistake though.
She got SS and they got into the car. I went up to her as she was getting ready to close her door and drive away. I said, 'you are just going to leave like this?' She said, 'goodnight Denver.' I said, 'I am done W.' She said, 'goodnight Denver.' And drove away.
W texted me an hour or so later: "don't talk to ss about things that are adult conversations. you are being manipulative. He doesn't need to be worried about adult relationships. He is 12. He doesn't understand everything that is going on and I do not want you tlaking to him about it."
I didn't respond.
Obviously a bad night for me. ________
July 3 -
W texted me at 1 p.m.
W: "what is D doing today?"
Me: "she and I are hanging out"
W: "I'd like to pick her up for a bit to see my family"
Me: "not today"
W: "why? you arent' doing anything. Just being difficult as usual."
Me: "I think that we need to resolve last night before we do anything. that's all."
W: "there is nothing to resolve. you are a psycho insecure controlling a$$hole and I'm not participating in your drama. We will not work through anything as long as you think it's ok to behave that way."
I called W.
I apologized to W for reacting the way that I did. I maintained that I was not comfortable with her commuting to shows with OM. I told her that I am not demanding that she tell her boss not to book her on shows with OM. That I understand that it is her job and that there is going to be some incidental contact.
We talked more about how she thinks that it was unrealistic for her or I to think that she could just cut off the feelings that she has for OM. Again, she said that she thinks that it will just take time for that to resolve itself. But I have to admit, she didn't sound very convincing about this.
We ended the conversation okay with one another. I told her that she could take D to go visit her family.
W picked D up for a few hours. She had another show in the evening. She dropped D and SS off at my/our house.
I took D and SS out for dinner at D&B (can't say the actual name bc it is also OM's name)... Played $75 worth of video games with the kids and had a great time.
W called later that evening to see if SS wanted her to come pick him up. SS wanted to stay the night. Hung out with the kids until they fell asleep. _____________
that's all I can write for now...
BITS Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
Hi everyone. There were some posts on my last thread that I wanted to respond to, but just haven't found the time. Right now, I just need to post an update.
I'm kicking my 90 day goal/timeline whatever you want to call it. It was an illusion, and wasn't working for me in the way that I wanted it to anyway.
----- UPDATE Part I
I'm not even sure what my last update was. So I will start with July 1st.
July 1 - My daughter flew into town. She is here visiting me from Alabama until July 28th. W came back from Philly on June 30 and was driving to Aspen for a show on the today. We talked briefly. She called to see if my D had arrived safely.
______
July 2 - W's show in Aspen was an overnight one. I had not asked W if OM was on this show. I hadn't heard from W by 1:30 p.m. and freaked out for some reason. I called W but she did not answer. A little later, she texted me to let me know that she was driving home, that she had to stop in Vail to drop a bandmate (not OM) off for another gig that he had. She said that she was going to have some lunch in Vail and was trying to get back into Denver so that she could have dinner with me and my D.
I called W at 5:30 bc I had not heard from her. We talked briefly, but she said that she couldn't hear me bc cell phone reception bad.... that she was still driving and would call me back.
30 minutes later or so, W called me back. She was about 30 minutes from home. We began to talk about her show. I began to ask questions about who was there, her hotel arrangements etc.
W stopped me and asked why I was interrogating her. I said, 'why do you think W?' She then said that it was weird that I was asking her about this specific show when I had not asked her anything about the 2 shows that she had the weekend before, and that I had not asked her anything while we were 'taking space apart' the past 2 weeks. She then asked me if I was 'stalking' her. I said that I wasn't and asked her why she would say that. She admitted that OM was on the Aspen show the night before. She said that he hadn't been on the 2 shows the weekend before, and I hadn't asked. That it was weird that he was on this show and I interrogated her.
I said that I hadn't been 'stalking' her. That I was freaking out bc it was an overnight show. I told her 'if you can't understand why I wouldn't be paranoid and wonder, I don't know what to tell you.' I was upset that she didn't tell me that OM was on the show. I told her that I didn't completely trust her. That I want to trust her again, and that I was trying, but that, right now, I don't. She didn't respond to that.
She told me that she didn't bring it up bc I had told her on Father's Day a couple of weeks before that I didn't need her to let me know when OM was on a show, that I trusted her. So, she said, she didn't bring it up. I agreed that I had indeed said that, but that I had thought a lot over the past couple weeks too, and that I would appreciate if she would tell me.
I told her that if she tried understanding my hurt and my position with all of this, that it would go a long way towards me trusting her again. She said that she didn't know if she could do that bc she believes that it is my fault that OM is even in the picture at all.
W met me and my D for dinner. We drove separately bc she had to leave from the restaurant to go pick SS up from airport as he was returning from California from visiting his dad. She mentioned the possibility of meeting up again after she picked SS up. I told her that 'maybe' we could, but that it would be late.
Throughout dinner, I was distant. I had become angry since our telephone convo about OM being on show and her not telling me. She showed D some pics from the her show and some pics of her trip to Philly. I was not interested in looking at them and didn't pretend to be. As W showed D, she would then lean over the table to show me. I just looked without comment.
After W picked up SS from airport, she called. She said that SS wanted to see D and wanted to know if they should come over to our/my house. I told her that it was late and that they could see each other the next day. She told me that SS was wound up and really wanting to come over for a few minutes to see D and me. I finally relented and told them to come over.
W and SS showed up. I hugged SS, told him that I missed him, and talked to him about his trip. W and I then went onto back porch. We let the kids play.
I had decided that I was going to 'act as if' I was okay and completely happy while SS and W were at the house.
W and I had a drink and we talked about her trip to Philly. We were getting along quite well.
I ended up having a few drinks.
The topic of conversation went from her trip to Philly to her show in Aspen the night before.
W told me that OM was there. That the band had 'partied as a group' but that OM had gotten a migraine and wasn't around for much of it. I asked her again about her hotel arrangements. She told me that she had a room to herself.
I then asked her about her trip back today. She said that she had dropped a horn player by the name of Nate off in Vail... she then very casually that she had had lunch with OM in Vail and headed home. She then continued to talk about something ... don't remember what.
I said, 'wait, what did you just say?' She said again that she had had lunch with OM in vail after dropping Nate off.
I flew off the handle. I confirmed with her that OM had commuted back to Denver with her... she then told me that he had commuted up to Aspen with her as well.
She told me that the company had set up the travel arrangements and pay only a certain # of drivers... this is true.... she told me that this had been arranged for her.. that most of the band goes up earlier than she does (as a pure vocalist with nothing to set up)... that she always commutes with either the horn players (OM is a horn player) or the dancers who also go up later than the rest of the band. I vaguely remember that this has been true in the past, so I pretty much believe W on this.
I told her that I was not comfortable with her commuting with OM. That I thought that I had been clear that I was not going to stick around if she had any R with OM other than incidental contact at occasional shows.
I told her that I thought that this was a complete violation of the conditions that I had told her that I was comfortable with back on June 3rd.
I asked W if anything happened with OM. She said 'no'.
W then reiterated that this was her part of her job. She then asked me how many lawyers and judges that I have had sex with in the past, before her. W knows that I have had R's with some women who are lawyers and/or judges (my ex is a judge). She then said, 'what if I told you that you could not be in the same courthouse as any of these women? I told said, 'I don't commute with them to the courthouse W, it is different.'
I told W that she was going to have to talk to the owner of the company and tell him to not book her on shows with OM. That I was no longer comfortable with it. At this point, I was not happy, and I was speaking with anger. The first time that I have spoken to W this way since before she left me.
W got p!ssed at this point. Told me that I am in no position to demand anything of her. Told me that I an controlling. That she doesn't want to be around me because I am controlling... that it makes her want nothing to do with me.
I told her that I was not trying to be controlling. She said, 'Denver, you are a very controlling person.'
I said, 'I'm sorry that I don't feel comfortable that my W is going to have contact with someone who she has slept with during our M!'
W went off again how it is my fault that OM is in her life at all and how my actions during our M were infidelity... I won't repeat this stuff as it has been noted here before.
I told her that her dating OM during our S was cheating and that it was wrong. W said that lots of people 'date' when they are separated.
We were both very angry at this point.
At some point, I asked how it was spending time with OM during the commute was for her. She said that it was kind of weird, but that it reminded her how much she liked having OM around.
At some point, W told me that she hadn't had contact with OM in weeks, since our conversation on June 3rd. Not sure whether or not to believe her... but I guess that she had no reason to lie about this.
At some point, W reiterated that I had told her that she didn't need to tell me when OM was on a show with her and that is why she didn't tell me. She also mentioned that OM is not on any shows with her in July that she knows of.
At some point, W said that when we had our conversation on June 3rd, after the OM on toilet incident, that she was probably being unrealistic and I was as well. I asked her what she meant. She said that she can agree not to have contact with OM, not to hang out with him or to talk to him, but that it is unrealistic to think that her feelings are just going to go away. I asked her, 'then how is this going to work W?' She said, 'I don't know.' I said, 'how do you think that these feelings are going to go away then?' She said, 'I don't know. With time I suppose.'
Some of the above is listed out of order as it happened in the actual convo. W was angry when she left, as was I. And I was fairly buzzed from drinking.
As W was getting ready to leave, SS came outside onto the back porch where I was sitting. He asked me why his mom and I were arguing. I told him the truth. That W had driven to her show with OM. SS said, 'we haven't seen OM since that day that you found him at our house.' I told him that I knew that, but that W had seen him that day. He said, 'you need to forget about that. You need to just get back together.' I told him that his mom didn't seem to want that.
I don't need a 2x4 about what I said to SS. I know I f'd up by telling him anything. He is 12 years old and doesn't need to be involved. At the time, I just felt like I wasn't going to lie to him about his mom's b.s. It was a mistake though.
She got SS and they got into the car. I went up to her as she was getting ready to close her door and drive away. I said, 'you are just going to leave like this?' She said, 'goodnight Denver.' I said, 'I am done W.' She said, 'goodnight Denver.' And drove away.
W texted me an hour or so later: "don't talk to ss about things that are adult conversations. you are being manipulative. He doesn't need to be worried about adult relationships. He is 12. He doesn't understand everything that is going on and I do not want you tlaking to him about it."
I didn't respond.
Obviously a bad night for me. ________
July 3 -
W texted me at 1 p.m.
W: "what is D doing today?"
Me: "she and I are hanging out"
W: "I'd like to pick her up for a bit to see my family"
Me: "not today"
W: "why? you arent' doing anything. Just being difficult as usual."
Me: "I think that we need to resolve last night before we do anything. that's all."
W: "there is nothing to resolve. you are a psycho insecure controlling a$$hole and I'm not participating in your drama. We will not work through anything as long as you think it's ok to behave that way."
I called W.
I apologized to W for reacting the way that I did. I maintained that I was not comfortable with her commuting to shows with OM. I told her that I am not demanding that she tell her boss not to book her on shows with OM. That I understand that it is her job and that there is going to be some incidental contact.
We talked more about how she thinks that it was unrealistic for her or I to think that she could just cut off the feelings that she has for OM. Again, she said that she thinks that it will just take time for that to resolve itself. But I have to admit, she didn't sound very convincing about this.
We ended the conversation okay with one another. I told her that she could take D to go visit her family.
W picked D up for a few hours. She had another show in the evening. She dropped D and SS off at my/our house.
I took D and SS out for dinner at D&B (can't say the actual name bc it is also OM's name)... Played $75 worth of video games with the kids and had a great time.
W called later that evening to see if SS wanted her to come pick him up. SS wanted to stay the night. Hung out with the kids until they fell asleep. _____________
that's all I can write for now...
BITS Denver
2 things that i forgot to mention in the above update...
1) the night that W met my D and I for dinner (july 2), I did something blatant to try and p!ss W off... or at least get a reaction. Back in February, I was out with a couple of buddies at PF Changs having drinks at the bar. The bar tender gave me her number at the end of the night. I never called her and actually threw the number away. But I had mentioned it to W at some point. So W, D and I ate at the same PF changs. At one point during our dinner, I excused myself to use the bathroom. AS I was walking back to the table, I purposely went to the bar area and stood there for a second. We finished dinner and left shortly after. As we were walking out, W said to me, "Is your girlfriend her tonight?' I said, 'No. She's not.'
I know that I shouldn't have done this... W's response was interesting though.
2) During my convo with W later that night, when she told me that it was unrealistic to think that her feelings for OM could simply be shut off, I asked her, 'do you love him?' She replied, 'No. I don't.'
W has consistently said that she does not have feelings of love for OM. I guess I don't completely understand the feelings that she DOES have for him then.
3) In my telephone conversation the next day, I asked W if she was saying that she was going to resume having contact with OM. She said that she did not plan on doing that.
I will try to finish my update tomorrow.
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
You are being VERY controlling. I understand how you feel though. However, she has a chip that you can't knock off her shoulder.
Everything you have done wrong in the past is her justification of WHY she feels she is doing nothing wrong.
You can't stop that. You trust in her to make the right decision, or you accept your boundary and move on. There is no middle ground Bud. You are both at fault.
You question her trust, but yet you demand her trust. It's the same old pattern, hoping for a different result. You need to back off and let her come to you.
You hurt yourself by asking these questions and "researching" and it pisses her off and she runs the other way. It hurts, but unless you actually back off at this point, she's going to resent you further.
Stay strong and do what is right for your well being. Not to get her to submit.
You are being VERY controlling. I understand how you feel though. However, she has a chip that you can't knock off her shoulder.
Everything you have done wrong in the past is her justification of WHY she feels she is doing nothing wrong.
You can't stop that. You trust in her to make the right decision, or you accept your boundary and move on. There is no middle ground Bud. You are both at fault.
You question her trust, but yet you demand her trust. It's the same old pattern, hoping for a different result. You need to back off and let her come to you.
You hurt yourself by asking these questions and "researching" and it pisses her off and she runs the other way. It hurts, but unless you actually back off at this point, she's going to resent you further.
Stay strong and do what is right for your well being. Not to get her to submit.
Yeah Faith. You are dead on correct with everything that you just said.
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
You are being VERY controlling. I understand how you feel though. However, she has a chip that you can't knock off her shoulder.
Everything you have done wrong in the past is her justification of WHY she feels she is doing nothing wrong.
You can't stop that. You trust in her to make the right decision, or you accept your boundary and move on. There is no middle ground Bud. You are both at fault.
You question her trust, but yet you demand her trust. It's the same old pattern, hoping for a different result. You need to back off and let her come to you.
You hurt yourself by asking these questions and "researching" and it pisses her off and she runs the other way. It hurts, but unless you actually back off at this point, she's going to resent you further.
Stay strong and do what is right for your well being. Not to get her to submit.
You can't ever be perceived as being a BETTER CHOICE than any OM as long as you act as though he is a legitimate threat to you.
The things you focus on, the things you draw attention to, the things that provoke strong responses from you, the people that cause you to become ugly in your words and behavior...
Those things take on more credibility, more power, BECAUSE of your reactions.
Folks around here used to talk about not giving the OM or OW the time of day in their words or actions, in order to KEEP that person in the role of LESS THAN what the wandering spouse COULD have with the BETTER CHOICE spouse.
All your focus on this guy makes him seem larger than life. It also keeps him in the role of "forbidden fruit," and we all know how enticing that can be.
I think everyone understands your fears and your feelings.
You just have to be smarter than that.
At some point your wife can either be trusted or cannot. No one wants to be made a fool of by finding that their spouse has been unfaithful again.
But they can't be unfaithful until your first put your faith back in them.
And you can't have a relationship with someone you are unable to put your faith in.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
I'm not going to bash Denver - he knows that he effed up. But to suggest his W is honest is laughable.
You aren't honest when you only tell 1/2 of the story. She has a pattern of doing this. Plus I don't think she's being honest on her feelings toward OM. She might have a very good reason for not telling him, but she's not.
His W also plays stupid a lot. (Denver I'm not saying she is) she should know you don't trust her and she should know why.
But I don't think you help yourself with your actions.
Denver - look, I'm going to say this again. Trust is a process not a light switch. She is doing things to undermine that trust. You are doing things to undermine that trust.
Denver you don't trust her...stop telling her that you do. I know you want to trust her.
She could do a lot to earn back that trust, but she won't. Why? because of how you act. Think of it like this. How did you feel when you found out about the lunch with OM.
She probably feels that every time you act like the old Denver in her eyes.
Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. --Jean Jacques Rousseau.
I'm not going to bash Denver - he knows that he effed up. But to suggest his W is honest is laughable.
You aren't honest when you only tell 1/2 of the story. She has a pattern of doing this. Plus I don't think she's being honest on her feelings toward OM. She might have a very good reason for not telling him, but she's not. [/quote]
Actually, I'm glad you pointed that part out. I agree with you, Harrier.
