65 Days...

[Denver_2010]

Just realized that I need to begin a new thread... Figure that my anniversary would be a good day to do it.

I just posted this on my last thread... but want to repost here:

I am a little down today. It is my anniversary. W and I have both stuck to the no contact thing for the past several days. I have not heard from her since she sent a text message to her mom, her sis and me on Thursday evening, and haven't spoken to her since Wednesday night.

My mind has certainly tried to play its tricks on me. I have no evidence that W is doing anything other than what she told me that she was going to do. In fact, pictures on her facebook account seem to confirm everything... of course pictures on FB can never account for every minute of a person's day.

Since last speaking with W, I have been to the gym every day except for Saturday. I went out for drinks with some friends on Saturday night and had a good time. And I've gotten a little work done, which is good.

I have found myself thinking a lot about my hurt in what has happened over the past couple of months. I find that I have a lot of anger towards my W when I really think about it. There have been a couple of times when I've actually thought to myself that I may not be able to ever let that go. Basically, it comes down to be extremely disappointed in my W for not being stronger about being able to be alone and for not taking our S as a time to work on herself as I feel that I have.

I do think that it is necessary for me to be processing this stuff.

I also know that I want to forgive W ... and I still want to have a happy M with her. I know that IF that happens, that, someday, all of the trash from the past 7 months will be nothing but a blip in the story of our lives. This is what I hold on to.

Like I said, today is our anniversary. I'm not sure whether or not I should send W a text or something to at least acknowledge it.

I would appreciate some thoughts on that...

thanks
Denver

[alamo76]

Sorry, I responded in your last thread.

[Denver_2010]

No worries Alamo. I am following both for thoughts on the issue. It is tough for me, because W and I are talking about possible reconciliation.

So I am questioning whether or not I should really just ignore today... even if she does.

I don't know.

Thanks for your advice Alamo.

Denver

[2stepboogie]

If anything I would send a text.

Somthing simple.

"Still worth remembering. Hope you have a good day"

as suggested by 25 on my thread awhile ago.

[~¤DG¤~]

Denver,

I was in your shoes last week, it was our Anniversary last Thursday.
It went unacknowledged by both of us. Like you, I also haven't had any contact with my H since last wednesday when he sent me that text I posted on my thread.

I admit, I'm a little jealous that you can be angry about things. I wish I could, anger was always my defense mechanism and I have vowed to not do anything out of anger again. Being angry would make things so much easier.

As for wishing her a Happy Anniversary, I'm not sure how you should proceed. I mean, it isn't exactly a happy time in your M right now. I suppose you could say something else if you really wanted to, but I am at a loss as to what it should be.

[alamo76]

Well, since you two are talking about reconciling -- that changes my opinion altogether. I say send something really short and simple, but with heart, per 2Step/25 said.

[MHL]

It is tough for me, because W and I are talking about possible reconciliation.

You guys have discussed it.....at length and probably too much in my opinion.

Ball is completely in her court.

Discussing reconciling and actually reconciling are 2 different things.

Is she trying to get to a point to where she feels comfortable "COMMITING" again........

YES

Has she committed yet??????

NO

She has very clearly stated that there are "No guarantees"

Translate.........

I do not know what I want, I don't know if I want to be married and furthermore I don't know if I want to be married to you.

Still wanna send that "Happy Anniversary" text???

Really, she is not with you on your Anniversary.....actions speak louder than words.......

I am not trying to stoke the fire here......

Just a little reality check......

There will be other Anniversaries to celebrate.....

Don't worry about this one.....

fact is that you will want to forget about this one anyway....

no matter the outcome.

Make the day forgetable........do nothing special.

It is Monday.......do whatever you would normally do on any other Monday.

Hard to do I know but this stuff ain't easy.

Cheers

[25yearsmlc]

it's not a sad time for Denver (unless HE makes it sad).

It is a hopeful time.


Geez does everyone have amnesia again?

They are moving towards each other. This is the best place Denver's marriage has been for months.


Did I miss something? Did something change in the last 3 weeks?

Last I heard, they were taking some time for themselves b/c they did not want to rush the reconciliation... and

they want to be careful about it. Seems healthy to me!


Yes I know, they are NOT reconciled yet. But there has been such progress and it's the most hopeful time in their m in months or a year.


And somehow we are all comforting Denver in his painful hour...I don't get it.

Sorry but what's with the doom & gloom?

I see hope.

[25yearsmlc]

I totally disagree with not doing something today.

Whether you want to contact her or not, you know how I feel about that.

But do something for yourself today that you enjoy.

Comfort yourself.

[alamo76]

I agree with 25. I did have a brain fart in that I forgot that there was talk about reconciling. IMO, if I were in your shoes, Denver, as much as this anniversary reminds you of what is, I'd be upbeat and happy because of what can be.