Great, I should know better by now. I checked MySpace...decided to see if my W had posted anything recently since she hasn't blocked me. Back in Dec she posted: "almost entirely moved out, never been happier!" and a friend asked her "moved out???? i didn't know you were moving... fill me in!"
So then the response from my W 3 days ago is: "oh hells yea back w/ the parents gettin divorced! woohoo!"
This idea of not believing anything they say and only half of what you see doesn't seem to be working in my case.
Got home today and the cats are nowhere to be found. The big screen TV and stand are gone. Looks like an attempt was made to remove the dryer from the basement. U-Haul rental from 2-9-11 on the online bank account record. The simple non-romantic birthday card I sent is here marked return-to-sender. The letter that the DB coach told me to write is burned up and the remnants are in the envelope I mailed it in.
I called W and left a voice-mail saying that she is basically stealing now and she needs to bring back the TV and stand and let me know what happened to the cats because if she gave them away I am going to be very upset since I am doing everything I can to get home and take care of them. Also, told her that we need to discuss all the other furniture she has taken because it is joint property and she can't just take it all and that we will have to deal with the taxes. I tell her that I want to see the dogs tomorrow. Honestly, my tone of voice was not friendly but I didn't cuss or yell, though I might have been loud.
I then called my mother-in-law's cell phone and asked if my W was still living with them or not because I need to know since the cats are gone and she is stealing which isn't going to fly too well.
I don't want to make a hasty decision and get in more trouble but I really feel like changing the locks and calling the police to report theft. I'm going to try and get some professional advice on this matter.
I am so pissed right now I really don't care about reconciling with my W. I'm not going to sign divorce papers b/c once again I don't want to make hasty decisions. I want to remind my W that SHE is the one who wanted to end this and move out, that SHE told me SHE WOULD GIVE UP EVERYTHING (her pets, house, car, everything...her words) and that SHE will owe me alimony b/c she makes more money than me.
I now understand ILYBNILWY, dropping the rope, detachment, or whatever you want to call it.
It's been awhile but I want to give a quick update and see if anybody has suggestions.
Last direct contact I had with my W was on Facebook chat and it didn't go well. I asked for the animals, house, tv, and stuff but she refused. I told her I'd just really like the animals back and she said they weren't hers anymore to give back and even if they were hers she wouldn't give them back. She ended the chat with the declaration that if I attempted to contact her again she would consider it harassment and I could go through her lawyer. Well, I have dealt only with her lawyer since.
I tried writing letters to her lawyer requesting what I wanted and saying I'd sign the papers if they agreed to my terms. Lawyer reviewed with my W and they rejected a bunch of stuff. I'm meeting with an attorney tomorrow about all of this.
I've seen on Facebook that she is in a relationship with a guy, has gotten her maiden name back, has covered up tattoos involving me, has lied about the animals in a way because she knows who has the cats and she registered the dogs in her moms name but she has them, and posts about how I am an abuser. I've gotten myself to a point where I'm at least not going to commit suicide or be depressed all the time since it looks pretty certain she's not coming back to me. Through all of this though, there is still a tiny little bit of me that hopes she'll come back. That maybe once she has to face me with the lawyers and sees that I've made some real changes she'll reconsider. I struggle everyday not to be angry, depressed, or in a "revenge" kind of mindset. I remember from the book that now I would give anything to speak to her but if she comes back I'll have to face the hurtful and angry feelings.
I haven't been pining away day and night for her. I'm going on about my business. I've made some friends and spent some time with them when I can. I've tried getting a life and moving on. Part of me wants it to just be over, to get divorced and say goodbye. I intend to show no sadness, no anger, no vengeance or cruelty when I face my W again, I plan to kill with kindness and that's more for my own good, my own well-being, and my conciseness then anything else.
My question: does anybody see any chance of me getting my W back?
Thanks for all the help and support I've gotten here. I'm going to try and get back here more often and even if I get divorced I'll be back to see if I can help others avoid that fate.
