Here are the links to all of my old threads….for those who are interested in seeing anger, whining, pain, love, pretty much all of the sh!t that we the LBS’s go through.
Tomorrow W, the two L’s and I will sit down for our second pre-trial meeting. The first one according to my L went well and it is believed that this will be the last meeting before they just schedule a final hearing, which probably will not take place until the new year.
My goal at tomorrow’s meeting is to:
1) Get on paper and signed with blood her acceptance of the custody arrangement. 2) Try not to lose my shirt in alimony payments 3) Secure acceptance to move out 4) Get a better sense of exactly what all of this sh!t means for me
So those are the legal goals….I also would like to….
1) Laying out exactly how I will secure housing and furnish it 2) Depending on the debt/financial profile/outcome figure out a true budget. I have a few scenarios but until I can get a final number it is very hard to plan 3) Get back to cooking every weekend. I am a bit Food network fan and love to cook. 4) Get my Puerto Rican as* back to the gym with some frequency 5) Finish reading two books I have and then pick up a few more. 6) Join a local basket ball league 7) Get my next tattoo (that will be my second guys and I only have plans for one more – I was thinking of lips on my butt cheeks but decided against it – LOL)
As for my W…she continues to be pleasant and for some reason I get the sense that she wants to be “friends”. I’m actually not sure that friends would be my description of our R going forward BUT hey ya never know. What I do know is this….I am different – she is different – where that leaves us post D – your guess is as good as mine.
I hope everyone had a good weekend.
Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Thanks Drew - I'm not sure if "at peace" would describe how I feel right now BUT it's probably close. Thanks for stopping by man!
Update - I was just notified that the tomorrow's four way meeting has been pushed back to 11/10. I still have my meeting wtih my L tomorrow so I hope to have some of my questions answered.
Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
We just told my little girl that mommy and daddy will be divorced.
The pain that I feel right now cannot be measured. It feels harder than the bomb. It sucks. It fuc*ing sucks. My D, Victoria took it well but has a lot of questions. I suggested to my W that we wait until we speak to a therapist before speaking to our D. She disagreed, since my D has been asking a lot of questions..
D to me - "daddy when are you going to sleep with mommy again - you said you were taking a break but it has been a long time"
D to me - "daddy do you still love mommy"
D to me - "daddy i want things back the way they used to be"
D to me - "daddy how come mommy doesn't make you breakfast like she does for me and the boys"
These are just some of the questions that my D has asked over the past few weeks. Each one is like a small tear in my heart. Though I have to say that my little girl is as strong as they come.
When we spoke to her I tried to be as positive as I could have. My W...was all grins. Like a none of this even phased her. Right now, I just can't stand the sight of her. Her little grins - I am so angry and sad right now. The indifference is amazing. I no longer know this woman. She is a completely different person.
After we spoke to our daughter, she gave me and her mother a hug. She held me very very tight. It took everything I had in me to hold back my tears...and so now I sit here...alone in the family room (aka my bed room)....tears...I hurt...BUT i will be okay cause I know that Toria will be. She is a strong cookie. She is like me!
Toria had some questions...
Toria - "daddy are you leaving"?
Me- "yes honey, daddy will be moving soon but the cool thing is that YOU will have two bed rooms. One with me and one with your mother"
Toria - "when are you leaving"
Me - "I am not sure yet honey - but just remember we both love you very much"
Toria - "will oreo (our dog) come to your house daddy"?
Me - "it will be our house honey and yes oreo will come too"
Toria - "so when we are with you daddy - mommy will be alone" (funny this is when W responded very quickly..."yes mommy will be alone" - I swear I wanted to respond...but I didn't)
Me - "yes honey mommy will be alone"
Toria - "will you be alone daddy?"
ME - "yes honey daddy will be alone but I will be okay - as long as you are okay - I will be okay"
She then said she needed to think about more questions....
I walked downstairs and into the family room. Toria who was with her mom came into the family room and said she had more questions for me.
Toria - "daddy....how will you be able to afford two houses" and "daddy your not gonna have enough food". These questions ripped a hole in my heart...here is my little girl, her life will change and she asked about me. Goes to show me how big her heart is.
Me - "honey you don't worry about daddy - I will be fine - we will be fine". "It will be different but different is not wrong - it's just different - but me and your mother love you very much".
Toria - "why are you and mommy getting divorced"
Me - "well honey, let me answer your questions with a questions....would you prefer that mommy and daddy stay married but be sad or would you prefer that mommy and daddy get divorced but be happy" - ya know I was not prepared for this question and since W decided to have the conversation I was so tempted to say go ask your mom but I felt i needed to try and answer all of her questions.
Toria - "but daddy why don't you stay living here"?
Me - "toria, when people get divorced they usually do not live together. Some do but really most people do not".
Toria - "daddy can you stay a little longer"
Me - "I don't know honey...but I will love you and so does your mom and you will spend the same amount of time with each of us".
Fu*k...typing this hurts....listening to my D ask the questions...hurt....all of this hurt...
The pain, the fuc*ing smirk on my W face...it is what i will remember. I will also remember that my daughter is strong, I will also remember that I am a survivor, I will also remember that I can CHOOSE to be the best parent that I can be. I choose to be the best man I can be - for me - for my kids. My W - fu*k her!
I just can't write anymore....
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Thanks for stopping by man!