Mandy, Once you land in your special place, the anxiety will go away. Yes, new memories will be made and I bet they will be wonderful! I hope that you and your son enjoy your vacation and while you are there, do try to find some new and exciting things to do.
I can't believe your son will soon be 18! The time has flown by. Your "x" sure has missed out on some wonderful times w/his son. He'll regret it some day. You have so much to be proud of. Your son sounds like a wonderful young man. He is very lucky to have you in his life.
Enjoy your holiday!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
ML, We seem to go on holiday around the same time. Like you, I've returned to the same place. And on this trip I did have memories of doing certain things w/X there.
But...these memories don't hurt so much now, do they? At this point it is more "my" area and I was happy to share it with New Guy and the kids. For you it will be you and your S and you will have years where you think of being there w/S more than with X.
It is a shame that your X can't face your S. I think that some of them are too ashamed to try to come to terms with the damage and hurt they've caused.
I didn't think my X would be one of the ones whose remaining life would be a crisis, but that seems to be the way it's going for him. And for your X as well.
I think my X finds it easier to think that he didn't cause any hurt to me. He has been better with D but likes to pretend he didn't cause me any pain.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
Well we are home from visiting our special place, and what a time we had, yes it was absolutely fantastic, no tears were shed for the past memories only fond and loving laughter. Son really enjoyed himself and enjoyed where I took him for his special 18th birthday, we have conquered it made our own memories and had a ball. sons birthday was special and I am so proud to say I made his birthday special to him, we even ate in his favourite restaurant all good all good. I think son was a little touched by the fact his father did not send him a message for his special bday, but I explained to son that maybe dad has realised that it was that bday that son actually changed from child to man, maybe he couldnt send a message as the guilt and shame stopped him on realisation that when he walked out he left a child, that child has now turned into a man and he as missed out on it all. there was however on our return a card from the dad with a small cheque inside signed with lots of love hahahah, how do you have lots of love for someone you have barely bothered with for the past seven years, beats me. but we enjoyed it and sons bday was special for him and for me xxx
Brilliant, Mandy! Glad you had a lovely bday/holiday, and made all your own memories. Best wishes to your son.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
I am so happy to come here and read that your vacation was wonderful. So many new memories and yes, your son is now a man and your X has missed out on all of the important/special times in your son's life. Such a pity.
You and your son have so much to be proud of!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
thankyou for your reply forward, I don't see it happening now hun, not unless the ex and skank split up, son is very adamant that he wants nothing at all to do with her, but has admitted that if his dad was to contact him and say he was on his own he would try to be there for him xx
