My F stayed over and talked with me about what he had been going through and missing us. On the flip side he is still scared and hesitant of going into anything extremely fully R. We also have plans tomorrow to go to a show on his invite, while he invited some friends but when I suggested dinner before the show with our friends that are a couple he became hesitant about dinner.
Really need support here what would seem like the best plan. I have read DR so I am armed with what I have been doing GAL and keys to being patient and avoiding conflict.
Thank you for all that you all have brought me !!! Wish me luck all is appreciated.
Me:25 fiance :29 about to be 30 in Sept. together: 7.5 years situation: separated 2.5 months
Be strong. Confident. Care free. Dress and FEEL sexy. Control what you can which is yourself. Be the greener grass. Let your self-confidence radiate so he will be like a moth to a flame. Then make him beg for it.
No heavy R talk just have fun. If it does go there then validate. Focus on good communication. LISTEN/MIRROR/SYMPATHIZE/EMPATHIZE. Let him talk then repeat back to him what you COMPREHENDED.
Remember your GOOD ENOUGH, STRONG ENOUGH, and GOSH DARN IT YOUR F LIKES YOU
Thank you I will keep this with me! He continues to say that he doesn't know what he wants and that he wants to rebuild and work on our friendship so that is what I will trust in. And he says he knows he can and isn't going to be out of my life ever again he just doesn't know what his role is.
Just give him some space and time. Congrads, I think you got what most people on this site want-just a chance. Keep improving on yourself since I am assuming that you are dbing.
Thank you everyone, We just got back from the river, played, laughed, everything we use to do. I committed to myself that I need to work on homework and plan for the remainder of the week. Still giving my GAL focus and attention.
We just got off the phone where we agreed to focus on seeing our friendship and the happiness in that. He said he is scared because he doesn't want to be apart of failure again I mirrored and replied what he was saying so I could invite a safe environment.
Thank you all! I feel so confident and secure where I am happily excited for all and what ever is in front of me.
P.s the oil spill finally was stopped ...the same day we united and came together! the universe is listening!
Me:25 fiance :29 about to be 30 in Sept. together: 7.5 years situation: separated 2.5 months July 15th 2010 happily talking!
I feel like things are going good. We are still keeping things steady and civil!
We are able to talk and keep talking about things that he has wanted to say and things that he wants to keep in motion for himself as an individual.
Though apart of me wants to be all over him and pick back up where we were, but I think we all know picking back up where we were is going to get us back to where we don't want to be.
This time it feels like a fresh start and new beginning. Any advice is still much appreciated as I have been keeping the DBeing guidance alive.
We haven't been intimate and have been strengthening our friendship, any advice on this???
For instance today he asked if I wanted to go to the river I have things I need to do (GAL so need to stick to it) and I was able to say that I think it would be good to take care of things and take a few days to our self. He has been wanting to spend some time together everyday since last Thurs. so I don't want to get back in the pattern of what we had been doing (consuming so much time together then fighting).
Thank you all for listening. My hopes are with everyone as well!
Me:25 fiance :29 about to be 30 in Sept. together: 7.5 years situation: separated 2.5 months July 15th 2010 happily talking!
I think you would be right in continuing to GAL and slowly get back into things. If the past pattern was to spend all of your time together, perhaps it would be best to use your fresh start to do things differently this time.
Best of luck to you!
M & H: 40 M: 5.5 T: 7.5 OW: 7/09 Bomb: 9/09 Sep: 3/10 H files 7/10
So things are in perspective and strong now. He said he wants to start fresh and with a clear perspective of where we are going in the future and what we are wanting for "us". I feel so strong and confident, because I was able to tell him my needs and what I need from a partner and what I can responsibly contribute. We also are going to talk about IMAGO strategies that will help during conflict or any thing we may disagree on.
I feel armed and supported especially with all that I have learned and continue to educate myself with here on the forum.
Stick with it everyone be yourself for yourself give the you attention as I and look as deeply inward as you can and from there look even deeper, know what you really want and what you need to give yourself! I watched on Amazon video on demand "Earth Pilgrims" with F and was able to say so much with so little words, and also confirm my own inner peace and direction.
Much love and positive energy to all!
Me:25 fiance :29 about to be 30 in Sept. together: 7.5 years situation: separated 2.5 months July 15th 2010 happily talking! July 22nd, committed and ready to begin fresh
congratulations! im happy that your situation is turning for the better. I am new also here, so i cant say much. We have very similar SITCH, including age etc,but in my instances im married. I hope too i can be on this road.
Me: 28 H:30 M:19/03/09 Renewed vows in home country: 19/03/10 Together: 7 1/2 years Married : 2yr 3 months S:26/06/10 reconciliation started: 1/10/10 Separation 2: 4/5/2011
