H moved in w/ OW. Wants month to fig things out.

[Allen A]

Hi Seanna... I know its not a consolation, but affairs don't last long term... they have less than 1% success rate... Whatever your H's plans are they aren't going to reach the fruition he's hoping for.. he's goign to land flat on his face again and again until he learns what love an commitment is.. Right now he just thinks marriage is acting on romantic feelings while they last and running when the fade away...

That is a delusion and it will fail him eventually... affairs don't last long term... He will likley cheat on OW at some point, or she on him.. the stats are very clear on this...

I know it may not help, but its important to keep this in perspective is all... and the stats are clear on what the perspective should be...

[seanna]

I haven't been here for a while because I was ashamed to say that I caved and took him back.

It went like this.....I was fine, getting over it all, and the very day I get a phone call "Please take me back, I got it all out of my system, I'll worship you till the day I die. I promise it's forever" You get the story.

Something in his voice was different this time I thought. He really sounded sincere, so I said this..."you better make sure that I'm what you want, if you're not, please go. If you have any contact with here ever again, a phone call, you forgot somethig over there, if we even see her on the street and you wave. It's over FOREVER. (I meant every word too)

So, he came home, moved his stuff back, seemed relieved to get that out of his system. We celebrated fathers day together, We went camping with the kids last wed to thursday. Saturday was our 15 year anniversary, then BOOM! He says, I miss her.

Crap!! I said seriously? I thought it was out of your system now. you wanted me, you were sure, you promised, begged pleaded, what's up??

He says that he knows it'll go away and not to worry. It's still us forever blah, blah, blah.

Sunday comes along. He's depressed. We have the talk. He says he really came back to do the right thing, but his heart isn't here. WTF?? You should've heard how he laid it on thick this time... like never before!!

Then today. I had a bad feeling so I woke up, filled out the divorce paperwork, called an attorney. Got my ducks in a row so to speak cause I could feel it coming you know??

Then he makes up this excuse to go to the store to get something. I had a bad feeling so I followed him. I caught him on the payphone calling her!! He says that he didn't talk to her, but like that mattered anymore........

I told him, I promised you that last last chance, I said it was forever over if you betrayed me again. Even though you didn't talk to her (so you say) that's enough for me. I'm done forever. I mean it (I really do) and tomorrow I'm filing and I'm reeeeeeeaaally over it. I can't be in the triangle one more second. I won't. So that's why I haven't posted

Thanks for reading

[Allen A]

Hi Seanna.. sorry you had to go through that... I think anyone on this forum could have called that one a mile away...

Affairs don't end flat out like that... they fall apart slowly piece by piece as the fantasy dies out... there would have been a call sooner or later, and another and another as he tries to let go of the addiction...

He doesnt undserstand he's addicted and that what he's doing with her will NOT last long term..he will run out on her or she will run out on him... its inevitable... the success rate for affair couples is less than 1%... less than 1%

One of those two is going to make a mess of that thing they are engaged in and it will all fall apart.. it may take two years, but it will happen...

The DR book is pretty clear on this... you do NOT take someone back point blank on their say so that they "have it out of their system"... If you run out and abaondon your spouse you are IMMATURE and have a LOT of work and education to pour through before you can begin to reconcile.. He did NONE of that before you took him back...

He was bound to run out again... He's an overgrown child by dear... He's not an adult by any stretch...

[seanna]

I know everything you say is true. i'm relieved though, that I've finally come to terms with the situation and I'm happy with the decision that I've made to end the craziness.

I also know that since I've taken away the piece of their triangle, things aren't going to go well for them either, and when the day comes that he realizes for real, that the grass isn't really greener, I will have finally gotten some satisfaction out of all this.

maybe it had to come to this for me to get it through my thick head that he's not the one for me anymore, and i truely don't want him back ever.

He destroyed every ounce of love, hope and wish that I had for him to come to his senses. i really don't care anymore. I feel that I'm not in love with him, and that it was maybe a little addiction for me too.

So glad it's over, so glad I did take him back, because I never would've gotten over it I think. Now I'm ready to truely move on.

We won't be friends, we won't be anything anymore except my boys parents, and that this time it's forever. I'll post throughout the divorce process as this is all new to me and I'll need a place to vent.

This was the final chapter, the nightmare is finally over and for that, I'm grateful.

[Sugar and Spice]

(((Seanna)))

I'm sorry that it didn't go differently for you and H. As hard as it is, this is the time for you to create and live the life you want and to figure out what makes you happy. Its not going to be easy and I can guarantee that H will come begging again (expect it, because it will happen and will continue everytime he doesn't get what he wants/needs from OW).

I'll keep checking back on you and I'm on the alt as well.
Keep your chin up.

S&S

[seanna]

Thank you so much for your kind words. I'll keep posting here to vent as the events unfold in this final chapter of this unbelievable nightmare.

Thanks for responding;)

[Sugar and Spice]

Seanna

Please do keep posting, it really helps. Its time to take care of yourself and just drop the rope.

(((hugs)))

[seanna]

i'm having such a hard time today.

i'm so angry about what my H has done to me and the kids. Last night my 8 year old was beside himself crying and shaking because he was so upset about my H leaving.

I got so mad that I texed him 2 nasty texts. Here's what they said;

"I realized that you felt like a "caged animal" but your son was hyper ventilating for 15 min. Ya, they'll be just fine. i hope she's worth it"

Text #2 Miss Slash 'Em Up turned out well didn't she? She seems real stable, preying on a married man with 2 young kids & threatning suicide every 2 seconds.

Ya, you're right, I hope they turn out as well as she has. She's as stable and well adjusted as they come.Keep taking her advice Glen, hopefully it'll work out for you.

Thanks for giving your family a chance though, I really appreciate it. Everything's just fabulous. And don't worry, the kids are sleeping with me tonight.

P.S., I want to make myself perfectly clear. I don't want you to come home ever.I just want you to know that you made a horrible mistake, and like she said, you'll never find a love like hers & I would never wait 10 lifetimes for you, especially after what you've put me and the kids through.

Goodnight, sweetdreams. We'll be fine just like you said.

[seanna]

I know that i probably shouldn't have texted those messages, but I was so mad!! He gets to go have fun in their new living arrangements, while I'm here with the kids comforting them?

I'm pissed about it. I'm mad at myself for believing him last time when he begged. I'll never fall for that again. I'm so angry!! I had to vent.

Oh, back story.

last time he left her, she slashed her arms up,& threatened suicide, after claiming how she turned out just fine when her dad left her mom for another woman when she was little.

She's an idiot! She definately has problems if she was stalking my H for years knowing he was married with babies at the time. Did I say how mad I am?????

[seanna]

Any advice???????