My H needs to go back overseas to run his business, which is in the toilet right now. We have zero money.. I just started working and am making good money but even that's barely making a dent in the mountain of bills we have.
He thinks that by getting a legal separation, it'll be better because I won't be arguing with him and he can get his space and I can get space. He NEEDS to go back overseas.. but what kills me is that he thinks it's just so easy...
Part of me wants to throw in the towel and be done with this.. I've been going through this torture for 8 months now. It's bad enough getting over his A (even though the OW is now engaged and pregnant with her new man's baby), and dealing with his BS ILYBINILWY. He thinks I'll never get over his A and he doesn't know if he'll ever get over his anger towards me.
He says he treated me the best and loved me more than anyone or anything ever and that I rejected him and hurt him so bad (I admit to making mistakes).
I need hope.. I need something. I feel like crawling under a rock.
M: 32 H: 34 S:5 D: 3 D: 1 Together 11 years Married 7 Bomb: PA/EA 8/13/09 (for 1 year on and off) ILYBINILWY: 08/09
"The end of suffering happens with the end of wanting." -Laura Munson
The WAS knows what to expect from current situation and thinks it has to be better somewhere else with someone else.
They don't know they are throwing away one set of problems for another set.
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
i think i read somewhere in my travels down this crappy road that the it may seem easier for wayward spouses (if A involved of course) to not have to deal with all the issues (family, friends and LBS) if they divorce, making it less work and taxing on them.
kind of a selfish way out IMO.
as for you personally - be strong for your KIDS they are what will keep you going through this.
Gman
M-37 W-36 S-11, S-9, D-4 PA exposed 3/13/10 10/19/10 moving on... most up to date sit
I'm just sick of this...My life is a complete mess and I can't look at my kids in the face without feeling sick and like such a failure.
What do I do?
I really don't know all of your sitch as I just stumbled across this post of your in new comers.
The only way you fail is if you never try.....Seeing as how you are on this website which is full of resources and people that will give you advice. yup seems like you are trying to me. Keep the PMA up timehealsall.
I like all this empty space because i can now type out things that are important.
Like: D7 S2 starting swimming lessons on 3/30
"Readily will I display the intestinal fortidue required to fight on..."
i think i read somewhere in my travels down this crappy road that the it may seem easier for wayward spouses (if A involved of course) to not have to deal with all the issues (family, friends and LBS) if they divorce, making it less work and taxing on them.
kind of a selfish way out IMO.
as for you personally - be strong for your KIDS they are what will keep you going through this.
Gman
Even if they are not with that person anymore? This cycle is just killing me. He negativity is killing me.
Part of me thinks that maybe I would have been in a happier place.. 8 months is a long time..
I feel like I give all of myself each time and I keep getting hurt.
M: 32 H: 34 S:5 D: 3 D: 1 Together 11 years Married 7 Bomb: PA/EA 8/13/09 (for 1 year on and off) ILYBINILWY: 08/09
"The end of suffering happens with the end of wanting." -Laura Munson
Even if they are not with that person anymore? This cycle is just killing me. He negativity is killing me.
I know all to well the "cycle", i am living it every day still. The only difference is i am "embracing the suck" and not letting it rule me right now, it is always going to be there, but how you react to it is how you live with and get past it.
I read a book that one of the many vets suggested when i was struggling - "the four agreements", one of the agreements that has changed and helped me the most is "not to take it personally".
hang tough
Gman
M-37 W-36 S-11, S-9, D-4 PA exposed 3/13/10 10/19/10 moving on... most up to date sit
I learned from my "little" experience in all this that once you gain control of yourself and where you are headed, and take control away from them in the situation, they no longer think it's "so easy".
Me 35/XW 33 S13 & S12 M: 10/17/98 OM & S: 07/08 D final 06/09/09 12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing" 06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10 06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11
