I wasn't on the board very long, and I'm really not quite sure how it all came about, but Jed Diamond had just started doing his research for his book. Board rules were a lot loser then so I can't remember if he solicited on the board or if someone gave my e-mai address, but there were several of us who participated. He asked us a series of questions like when we saw a change in our spouse, how the changes started, and how it first started to manifest itself. It was a pretty intense and lengthy questionaire.
I still get e-mails from his site with updates. I find it pretty fascinating myself even though I am of the opposite sex.
I am reading a book called "Male Menopause" by Jed Diamond. Now maybe everyone on this thread has already read the book so if that is so I apologize. The book was recommended by Snodderly and in the list on the resources.
Now bear with me because I am only on page 60 so far of this book but it really speaks to me and I think everyone else here. I don't know how this guy wrote this book and knew he would be speaking directly to me. He must be MWD's brother. I can so relate to this book as what is happening to me right now in life. I didn't think I was going through male menopause but as he is writing this, and I am reading, he is proving me wrong.
Jed Diamond - "The primary purpose of Second Adulthood for men is to become elders - to stand for something, to have a vision for the second half of their lives, to be the kind of men young men would want to look up to and follow."
"When a man denies this period of his life or is unable to negotiate the transition effectively, he never really grows up. He remains a perpetual adolescent, a flying boy, a Peter Pan."
He also says here that mentoring is an important part of this process that men join men's groups and learn to impart their knowledge to young men is important.
My thoughts on this is that in today's society where the internet is so prevalent, I don't know if as many men's groups exist or are as appealing to our age group. This board serves that purpose. A group of people mentoring others in the transition of life. That was the purpose of this thread IMHO. How it got so out of hand, well I guess we don't agree on how to mentor, however the need to do it is very obvious.
I think as a group we can continue to discuss the "how to mentor" in the best possible way but I feel we should put to bed the idea that we need to mentor. Jack said it in his original post that even the newbies should go out and support other people with similar sichs.
OP - I don't know where I would be without this place and the mentors that are here. I'm glad this place exists----for different reasons now than when I first came here. I came here desperate to save my M. When I first came here I didn't think I could live without my H---I didn't want to live with out my M intact. I now know that isn't true. I have read many stories----successes at different levels---and all of it helps. The support I have received here is support I could get no where else. Advice given by those that have been in this position means so much more----it has so much more impact. I am probably the slowest one here to get what this is all about, but I am finally getting it. I have given support to others, and can only hope that when I successfully come out of my tunnel----that I can be helpful to others.
Me 45 M 25 yrs; T 31 yrs;bomb 8/15/06; moves out 7/18/08 D 18, D 14, S 12
Make no mistake about it TCBTE, by being here YOU are a help to others. We all learn from each others experiences and mistakes. We all count on each other for support.
_________________________ Me-41 W-39 M-15 yrs T-17 yrs D-12 S-9 S-8 B 5/08 S 1/09
