I have a thread "trying a no contact separation". (lots more in there also) I have been talking to her posing as a woman on a diet plan she is on and coaches for on aim. In the last few days I have found out that she has been having sex with another guy. she is going to Florida for a week to meet up with a friend with benefits she has had since college.
I have been trying to see what she thinks about me by asking questions about me. she claims i beat her, raped her, cheated on her. she told the woman i am posing to be that she is scared of me. I never cheated on my wife she claims to found a number on our cell phone bill and called it and confronted the OW. She claimed to have the police present the only times she has seen me since she moved out. WTF!!! thinks i am an A$$ and told me she is never going back.
I never Physically abused her or anything. maybe left some bruises from rough sex. other than that we did some knock down drag out yelling. She is a lying B***h.
Okay now that I have that out. what do I do? I have read all sorts of books and I am leaning towards this is not a salvageable marriage.
I was going to use the technique I read in a post about calling her and saying " Honey I agree with you the marriage is over. There is no reason to try to fix what can't be fixed. I'll help you find a new place to live."
only she already moved out. what do I use for the third sentence?
"I want to see other people"?
I called her the other day after I found out she had sex and didn't bring up the OM. I asked how she was and chit chat and asked her if she would still like to go to a hockey game. she said she didn't have time before her trip but after she would. she said she doesn't know what she wants
Do I confront her about the other Men (yes at least two)
I don't call her everyday. I left her alone for a month. I pay the mortgage the car insurance the health insurance because i have been told i am responsible for her while we are still married. Am I wrong on this?
part of me wants to renew the insurance without her car and let her get a speeding ticket.
If she will lie to an outright stranger then what is she telling her family ????
Am I better to just cut my losses?
We don't have any kids.
only been married two plus years July would have been three...
I want to tell her I know about the b/f and Jim the guy she is going to Florida see. I thought it was for work.
What a dope I am.
She went to Florida in august while I was in Wisconsin for training for the Army for three weeks and then again in September. prob slept with the whole state. Sorry I feel numb again.
So I know I'm supposed to push the divorce. then what? I have no idea where she lives.
If I file how the hell am I supposed to have her served?
Do i tell her she needs help? she has rewritten our whole marriage.
Oh sweetie they have to be the victim. They will come up with every excuse in the book to justify their actions. It makes them feel better. TRUST me you are not the first to go through this...
For now, no confrontation. Just back off.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Oh and you can keep it all under one thread just fyi. Makes it less complicated.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
update. I sent her a text sat morning two days ago. "I agree with you the marriage is over. there is no reason to try to fix what can't be fixed. I know about your other men."
She replied "what other men? wtf u talking about?"
i waited several hour to let her stew. then i called her. told her i was done and when she sent me the divorce papers i would sign them.
she denied having a boyfreind and that she was going to florida to meet an old freind. I told her i don't trust her anymore.
She asked what do i really want? I told her i would really like her to give me a chance and that our old marriage is over and we need to start a new one.
She said she would like that. I told her it had been hard for me over the holidays and she agreed. I commented on how It has diffucult to find one gift for her for christmas but at least it wasn't car parts. she laughed.
she suggested we have a date night when she got back. I told her i loved her and she said she had been waiting months to hear that. since i started Dbing i have been NC which she said hurt her and that she thought i didn't love her anymore because i didn't say i loved her.
I want this to work. she said she would make time to call me on her trip so time will tell.
I sent her a text this morning about having a safe flight. she said thanks and she would let me know when she landed.
we have been talking. she called me like she said she would and left a message because i didn't have my phone on. it sound like she was sincere. here is to hoping
i gave her three choices for our date night go see Grease, go rock climbing, or to a comedy club and she picked going to see grease. I think she will really enjoy it.
