Sometimes, and I'm just as guilty of it as anyone, I think we tend to overthink things, especially in situations like this, when it's better to just live our lives as best we can.
Everybody hurts. It's part of life. Don't miss the good stuff.
I agree w/Drew and Jack, it doesn't hur to accept his phone call. However, if he starts to unload or whine to you about this or that, kindly say someone is at the door or you have to go, etc.
Boundary setting will come into place over the months ahead. You'll learn what you can handle and what you can't. Take it one hour at a time.
You really are doing very well at this stage.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
"Hi H. I'm doing okay. Sure, give me a call some time." Leave the ball in his court and allow him to determine when to call you.
Keep it very simple.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
...would have wasted another 6+ hours without you...
Now that sucks, in so much as you're so distraut that you cannot reply to an email without advice because you're so worried about making a mistake.
Chel, you have to think with your head now, not your heart, your heart is going to get you into trouble, make you say things that aren't in your best interest right now. Like. "Come back" "I love you" things that he likely isn't ready to hear.
This gets better. YOU get better with time. Go slow. Be careful.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
My e-mail was short and to the point (I'm okay and yes he could call sometime) - H e-mailed back with a simple greeting and this time the salutation, Love H. It was chatty but one line of his e-mail stood out, which was... sometime sounds a bit vague to me, so if you'd rather i did not call, just say so.......are you beginning to think that i/we did the right thing ?
More confusion for me on how to answer...
I am really working at taking care of ME but it is hard and the wounds are raw.
I don't think I have posted to you before but I have been reading along. I am so sorry for what you are going through and all the messes your H left you to deal with.
As far as the email, I would leave the question "are you beginning to think that I/we did the right thing" alone. Don't respond to that at all. As far as his comment about calling, maybe just keep it really simple again and just say something like it would be fine to call or something along those lines.
