I am back again but this time with a different issue and I would appreciate some input and opinions. As to my own problems, I am glad to report I am piecing successfully for the past 9 months, I wouldnīt say I DB totally as it seems a day by day construction. Well, just as things started to clear up for me, a couple of months ago my mom called and dropped a bomb about my father. She was very upset and asking for help as she found out my father was having an EA with an ex-girlfriend and she told me about one PA my father had a couple of years before with a much younger girl. About this PA, I never knew about it and only my brother new about it, as my fatherīs lover harassed him to the point of inviting him to go out. After getting to know of all the sordid details of my fatherīs mistakes, I was completely chocked, mainly in the light of what I faced previously. My mother was really upset and asking for help this time; she wanted to confront him and wanted the support of the children as she thought he was doing bad financial decisions also. My father had a difficult childhood and is sometimes emotionally violent abusive, a pattern we thought he was working on and trying to change, so I could understand where my mother was coming from. Well to make a story short. We talked to a lawyer and a psychiatrist in order to make everything right which was an intervention. However since I had some health constraints I could not be present at the time of the intervention so my brother would do it. Everything went wrong as my brother and my mom decided not to follow the script which the lawyer and the psychiatrist helped put together. As an emotional aggressor, my father could manipulate them into the speech that it was a coupleīs problem in order to isolate my mom, what he achieved. He came later in a letter, with a very arrogant speech to me also to which I replied that I would not have anything to do with him unless he changed his abusive behavior, assumed his mistakes for what they were and repented. Now, I do not see them for a while and my mom is falling back into his manipulative ways and is against me. When I talk to her on the phone she is always saying good things about my father and trying to condemn my reply to him. I miss them but I feel that if I just let it go I will not make peace with myself as I would, as my brother himself is doing, validating my fatherīs behavior by saying itīs their problem, not a family issue. Now I feel I am being isolated from my family with no regards, mainly from mom, for my help also. I paid the psychiatrist, the lawyer, mobile and other things to keep her safe, the problem is not the money, it is the lack of recognition. I have always assumed that children should have somewhat more priority in a personīs life. Please help me with some ideas of how to deal with this and what would be if, possible to do to turn this around.
PS. At least this situation put into perspective some of the suffering enabling I had done to myself and where it came from.
