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hey montana,

you are doing a good job just getting through each day and trying to tolerate this situation. I agree, limbo is miserable but we are stuck in that place because unless we ourselves want to file divorce (which I keep wondering if that feeling will eventually take over for me) then we get to live in limbo until the H.'s figure our their next move.

i can relate to your feeling of wanting to share life with someone again. I also miss my H., regadless of the GALing. Its really hard to understand why they don't miss us, or if they do, why they don't show it in some way.

hang in there today...talk soon.


Me 30
H 33
together:10 years
married:5 years
Separated: 1/23/09
living apart 5 mos and counting
"when you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on"-FDR
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it sounds like u are finding ways to move on. iknow what u mean about being alone i have been doing alot of that and i miss my wife and kids too.i thing you are a much stronger person then i am. i do have a question to throw out there. im having a hard time GAL and the other night i just didnt want to be home alone so i went to a park to read and watch other happy people. my w tried to call i didnt answer.then later that night she text me i told her i had went and hung and with some guys from work.she called and was upset that i was doing stuff and wanted to know if there were any girls there.i thought it was a good response but i didnt tell the true. is this wrong?


me:38
w:37
k:s10&6d14&9
w:2m
step d 18 is m with baby boy
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Hi there IDK

I'm sorry that you're here...but also pleased to meet you...in coming here you've made a great move!

But you need to give us more background to your situation (sitch) if folks here are going to be able to offer some help...

It sounds like you're fairly new into a difficult situation and struggling to sort out the right thing(s) to do...

IDK - "lay it bare" and there may be some more help on its way...

In the meantime, keep cool, don't do anything rash and at all costs keep your cool with your W (wife).

And on the GAL front - yes - by all means GAL...but IMO don't start making your W think that you're out with other women just yet - you're new to this...things might take on a momentum you can't stop!

Best - GFI

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sophia Offline OP
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Since my H left a month ago, I started going to Mass on Sundays again. I've always believed in God, but got pretty burned out with Catholicism growing up. I guess I'm more spiritual than religious. Tears came to my eyes this morning when the priest was talking about being non-judgemental and kind to others and making someone else's life better. So often we are most judgemental and unkind to those we love the most. When I got home I just started bawling like nobody's business.

I actually felt a little better after my big cry, like it kind of cleanses my body of troubled thought for awhile.

My MIL sent a nice email today. She said she cares and thinks about me a lot and still considers me a part of her family. I actually felt more confident after reading her letter. My MIL and I were always close. She also mentioned that she's going to have my stepson tomorrow. Would I be backsliding if I called her and arranged to go to her house to see stepson or should I just continue detaching and going dark?

Me 40
WAH 43
T 4 years
M 10 months
stepson 9
H left 1 month ago
No D filed

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Sometimes it seems like the priest/pastor is speaking just to us, huh? Accepting others as they are and not passing judgment on their choices is an important part of this process I believe.

IMO, I wouldn't ask to see stepson tmrw. That would put your MIL in an awkward position and it's nice that she reached out to you with the letter. If she feels stuck in the middle, she may be less likely to communicate with you.

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idkw2do,

Please start your own thread if you have not, so more people can help you, put down your situation in detail.

Burt

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Glad you made it to church. There are very good words of wisdom coming from the church. I am also more spiritual than religious. Keep working on YOU.

HUGS


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
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sophia Offline OP
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H gets back from LA today. I know he has to come over to get his computer and the last of his clothes. He mentioned a couple weeks ago that he wanted me to write him a check for the last months rent that he put down on this house. Should I do this since he's not living here anymore? I know he is struggling a bit financially, but then again, he's the one that moved out.

Also, should I get him anything for Father's Day or suggest getting together? My head tells me I shouldn't.

H has a gig this weekend. Should I volunteer keeping SS with me overnight? Any input greatly appreciated.

Me 40
WAH 43
T 4 years
M 10 months
stepson 9
H moved out 1 month ago
No D filed

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Natural consequences. He moved out. Let him struggle with his choices. You are not responsible for his choices.

Is H your father?

Do YOU want to spend time with SS? If so, ask.

HUGS


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 60
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sophia Offline OP
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Well, H is back from his trip. Haven't heard from him yet, but he'll probably stop by to get the last of his stuff.

Any other opinions about what I owe him financially concerning the previous post?

I do want to spend time with my SS, but would H look at that as pursuing and not giving him the space he wants? I want H to begin to realize what he's missing when I'm completely absent from his or SS life anymore. So should I continue going completely dark or should I ask to pick up/spend time with SS?

Me 40
WAH 43
T years
M 10 months
stepson 9
H moved out 1 month ago
No D filed

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