Midwestern Girl

[MidwesternGirl]

I guess you could say I cycle as well. But it is getting old and tiring and oh so immature.

BUT I have to step aside and admit that I am thankful for the peace and quiet, that we have a roof over our heads, food, clothing, electricity and running water, and of course, a car.

How much more could I really want/need?

[glamgirl]

So sorry MWG that you are in a funk. It's easily understood by what you have endured and continue to endure.

You do have to remember it was less than a year ago your h did come home. That could happen again.

Snow is right. When I get those hopeless thoughts, I go to God. He is the only one you really can find comfort in.

I will keep praying for you and your h.

[braveheart]

Sometimes I think some of you women on here need to be committed for awhile. I guess you guys think the same about me.

[WCW]

Even a normal R has ups and downs and cycles.

If we should be committed then let's make it a party! Who wants to come?

[naej]

WCW, lol, normal is the last word that springs to mind for these situations.

Even a normal R has ups and downs and cycles.

I agree but this is so far removed from normal you cannot possibly compare.
Maybe reality is trying to surface.
Are we really talking love here or duty? Not the same thing at all in imo.
MWG is finding her way on her own with her new ventures and job,seeing that she is a capable and independant person.I would encourage her to keep finding her way and maybe listen to those inner feelings.
Her H could be stuck in this mode forever (heaven forbid) but the more she can detach the beter for her and her family.She has absolutely nothing to feel guilty about her feelings.Love and dependancy should not be confused.
Enjoy the peace MWG whatever happens you will be fine. Great to count your blessings as you do.

[glamgirl]

Yes I love it. This isn't anything close to a normal R. I think in a normal R, things would be way different.

A crisis is far from normal. It's working your way back to a M that is so so difficult.

MWG we all know it's easier to walk away than it is to stand. I also don't think D is any easier than standing. The only thing with D is that for sure you are free to find a NEW love if that is what you choose.

Keep focusing on you MWG. That is what is important.

[MidwesternGirl]

H came over today and I was in my room doing some tax stuff on the computer. I did not even leave my room for a good 20+ minutes. Finally, I emerged, gave him his mail, and we had some issues come up with the girls so we hashed that out. Nothing major. He ended being nice, not pissy like the other day.

When he left, he kissed me and said ILY...........

and that was my night.

Boring, huh????

[TRUSTING]

This post has brought up something I was thinking about today.

Does'nt he miss me.

My laugh

My touch

My voice

My stability

How can you walk away after 25 years of knowing a person.

All the good times, trips, birthing babies....

All those peak moments.

It blows my mind

You have to be very unstable to do this.

You have to be a master at compartmentalizing your thoughts and life.

It is not Not Not Not normal....

[Maya44]

I was just talking to my IC today and she told me that the H/W in MLC doesn't think like we do (as we've all been told here and in the books). You CANNOT think he/she doesn't miss you, etc. That gives him/her the power! YOU take back that power and put those thoughts on a shelf for now and just know he/she isn't well right now. I hope this gives you some peace.

[MidwesternGirl]

Funny you say that FG but when I first found out about the A and this was before I even researched and came upon this website, I thought my h had a mental illness based on his actions and what he was/is doing.

No, these MLCers are not well.

If my h loses any more weight, he will look like a skeleton! Even the kids notice that he has lost a lot of weight. If only I could go on the MLC diet..........ha!