I know you don't sweety ! But our kids are just so very afraid that one day we may actually stop loving their mom/dad !
Today my D7 told me her biggest wish is STILL that her dad comes back home to us. When I told her that daddy was so much happier where and who he's with now, and that I have noticed that she too is happy with that, she said, 'I know..but still want daddy back here'.
I think they learn to cope, and live with it. But kids want their parents back together.
D9 chimed in and said, 'if dad ever comes back, he has to know that he's not allowed to argue with you all the time...'
mmmmm ...they see that he is the one who makes life harder when he's here.
Oh well.
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
With my kids being older, they know where my heart is and don't question it.
My youngest does not want her dad moving back in because it is peaceful without him.
The middle child would love for her dad to come back.
My oldest says he could care less either way but today and as of lately, he is hell on wheels and today he said he will make sure H and I never get back together because I put my foot down on rules.
I am sure the girls will give their dad quite the earful as well.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Sometimes I have wished my kids would have been a bit older...just so H could be confronted with what Teenagers say of this all !
But I know in my heart that if this is how it will be, then my kids were probably young enough to cope with it, and live with it.
It's never easy !
I'm so sorry that your son is being hard to deal with...it's a phase in life that I will be doing by myself too. I hope I cope as good as you have ! xxx
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
This makes me wonder if the holidays are really hard on our older sons. Since S21 and your S18 are both struggling right now and they have the same kind of temperament and way of lashing out to handle their emotions, I am convinced it is somewhat due to their fathers not living at home during this previously totally family oriented time of the year.
Just a thought.
Everything happens for a reason, maybe Dad needs to find that it isn't better out there, he needs to realize how good he had it here. Maybe he will find God and that is the most important thing when he finds Him he will know he is supposed to come home.
No, my son has done things that I don't even dare repeat as it is way too graphic.
ANd I think as of lately, other things are involved.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
A father's role in the home is lacking and yes, kids will do things beyond our wildest dreams.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
MWG, sorry son is playing up again, you seemed to be getting along great after his friend moved out. Do you think it has anything to do with the car and repairs needed plus him having to contribute? Has he been having to stay home more because of car problems? just a thought. I do feel he has a controlling streak in him and maybe as he see's you getting more independant with your job and online work he is afraid you are not going to be so easy to manipulate so he pulls the "I am the man in this house" card?
Cinders I think the older children are when this happens the harder it is for them b/c they do understand all the issues. In my case this has made things harder for me b/c my children have all told H exactly what they think of him at some time or other and it wasn't pretty. He blamed that on me b/c at the time they were all living here, he couldn't (or wouldn't) see that he had brought it all on himself and he just saw it as them being disrespectful. He even told my D18 that he had discussed this issue with work colleagues who had expererienced similar problems and they had all told him to just sit it out and the kids will come round! So they justified that what he was doing was (and still is) wrong. Of course it never entered his mind that they too might have gone about things in the wrong way
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
