thought I would begin a new thread since the other is about ready to lock up.
yesterday was a very lazy kind of day--cloudy, very cold, hit 40 degrees around 7PM!! And got colder.
my husband-he was okay yesterday. when he was out on the patio at one point, i went out just to say hi because i hadn't spoken to him and he held me tight and really close for what seemed like forever.
when he was getting ready to leave, he said he needed about $50 by Wednesday for his credit card bill and I told him that the deposit would not hit until Tuesday in his unemployment account.
he said he would be coming over on Wednesday to get the money. i told him Wednesday is not a very good day for me and he asked why and i said because it is our deceased son's birthday. he kissed me a lot, got kind of teary eyed, said he loved me and i said goodbye.
he did not bring up how we need to give him money, etc BUT later on i let him know more of my feelings little by little, telling him that i was growing tired of not having my husband around, that the kids are tired of not having their dad around but did not hound him about the job situation as that would be too much right now.
I did not expect a response and did not get one. Little by little, I am allowing my feelings out. And I think this is very positive for me because I have always kept things to myself and put on a strong front.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Maybe letting your feelings out will help him too MWG. I'm sure you're one to tell him your feelings in a loving, kind, non-attacking way so that only helps.
Yes, I hope letting my true feelings out will give him lots to think about.
We'll see.........
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
For me MWG letting my feelings out to h doesn't help. He seems to use it against me. Now maybe it's the way I am saying it.
The other day I said something to h about sleeping in our bed at night and what was he afraid of. His response was that he could predict it like clockwork about every 6 weeks I would fly off the handle about something.
I am going to bring this up in c though, I don't think it's normal not to have any conflict in a R. That would not be normal. Are we suppose to be happy go lucky at all times?
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
I used to think that whatever I said would have made my h mad and that would have been the case about 18 months ago but this year, he does not get mad at me and so far, he has listened to what I say and does not react negatively.
He has said to me many times in the last 10 months or so that it is okay for me to ask questions, say what is on my mind, so I am doing so ever so slowly.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
If he's asked you to say what's on your mind, then I don't see the harm in that. Especially since I know you think before talking and say things kindly.
M, Nice job on the conversation. Your h is far enough along not to react in anger. Your conversation will give him something to think about in the days to come.
Hugs to you, my friend.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
got ready for work, went to mail some books, came home, went to work, noticed I was not on the schedule for today. schedule was not made when i left on friday and i usually work monday's so i went in.
saw my boss and she apologized. i have today off and i work tomorrow. she is a friend of my mom's so it was no big deal.
then my back tire keeps losing lots of air so i had S18 get it checked. there was a small hole in the tire which needed patching and also, they changed our oil by mistake but did not charge us. oh well......
then i go to install my tax software and my cd rom drive was missing but got some instructions about it and i played with it and sure enough, got my tax software installed.
now it is raining and to be raining all week on/off. is about 45 degrees here.
i am okay though.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
that's okay--makes it feel wintry and that is good for us.
am off to work soon but am doing fine.
my kids told me yesterday that i have had an attitude for the last few weeks with h, that i am crabby and ignoring him, that if i I want to make progress with him, that is not how one goes about it.
i told them that i am growing tired of his lifestyle and it just gets to me at times.
he will be over tomorrow late afternoon to take D16 to church and will pick her up.
off to work now.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
