Here's a question...I don't want OW in my house. She's been here before while I wasn't here. STBX brought her here and she's stayed while I was out of town. What can I do to make sure he doesn't bring her over here while I'm not here. He doesn't live here, but his name is on the house. My name is not. He watches the kids for me on Mon and Wed while I'm in class. I've told him not to bring her here. But I don't think he will honor that because of her tight grip on his cajones. So is there anything I can do legally to make sure she doesn't come here?
Me- 29 X - 30 M - 7.5 years Final April 2009 S - 2005 D - 2007
Don't make someone a priority who only makes you an option.
A wise fish once said...Just keep swimming...Just keep swimming!
Do you have an attorney yet? That would be an ideal question for them. What is going to happen to your house, the one you are in?
I tackled this once and simply told xH that "This is my place of peace and rest. You have yours (his dads) and I wouldn't do anything over there to make you uncomfortable. I know this is still 'your house', but please remember this is all the space I have".
thanks lwb...I don't have the money for an attorney yet. I'm wanting to get one, it's just a matter of getting the retainer. I'm going to ask a family member if I can borrow it. The house I am in now is his house. We bought it during the marriage. I just couldn't put my name on it because of my credit. Which I'm not thankful for because it almost $100,000 upside down. It needs to be up for sale right now because he is moving out of state next year and the economy here is horrible. But he's dragging his butt on it. I've told him in the past to keep her away from me and my stuff, he doesn't care. Neither does she. She 'wants to be my friend' but yet doesn't respect my decisions regarding my own children and never has. He had her living here while I was out of state visiting family. I came back and it was blatantly obvious someone went thru my closet. This was before I knew about her last year. When I asked him about it, he said his mom did it. I asked his mom, she had no clue what I was talking about. His mother refuses to talk to him because of all this stuff. I'm really not wanting to deal with this stuff til my school is over in 2 weeks, but I know I have to. It just really sucks!!! lol
Me- 29 X - 30 M - 7.5 years Final April 2009 S - 2005 D - 2007
Don't make someone a priority who only makes you an option.
A wise fish once said...Just keep swimming...Just keep swimming!
So I've been on the phone all day with various lawyers trying to get free consults. Lots of fun. I'm now being threatened with court orders so he'll be allowed to take the children over to psycho girl's house. Haven't even looked at my school stuff today. Not to mention the busted lip D has because she fell. Or that S has been whiny and thowing fits all day because 'dada let's me!' My house is a disaster and I have a migraine. Who's taking orders cuz I'll have a capt n coke. TALL. light ice.
Me- 29 X - 30 M - 7.5 years Final April 2009 S - 2005 D - 2007
Don't make someone a priority who only makes you an option.
A wise fish once said...Just keep swimming...Just keep swimming!
Journaling... Today has been a great day so far!! FIL came over and we got to visit a bit. He has been wonderful thru all of this but he works out of state, so I'm always glad when he is in town and able to visit. And the kids are always thrilled to see him. Went out and was able to vote. Didn't even have to wait very long!!! 20 minutes, in and out. I was so thankful for that because I had the kids with me and we all know how impatient they can be!!! Went to the mall afterwards and let the kids play, returned some things, got one of my favorite smoothies (I can only get them at one store and it's only at this one mall!) Talked to my sis for a bit, she also lives out of state and with work schedules and such, we're not always able to talk. Had a great converstation with her. And we barely even talked about my sitch! We had so much other stuff to talk about! It was great! Went grocery shopping. The kids were great! Had a nice time, except for the weird lady standing in line behind me who kept insisting that it wasn't healthy for my kids to drink applejuice because it can cause really bad diarhea! So I would be better off giving them cranberry juice because it's good for the kidneys. wtf!? Who does that?! So I just told her applejuice is good for you as well, keeps you regular! lol Got home, made dinner and UPS came!! yay!! I had a candle party 2 weeks ago and had a great time and UPS delivered the candles today. It was like Christmas!!! And I didn't have to deal with STBX today!!! yay!!! We got into it really bad yesterday. He was almost 30 minutes late getting here to watch the kids so I could go to school. I got very upset. I told him next time he knew he was going to be late, if he could let me know so I could make other arrangements. We yelled for a bit. He continued texting me even after I got to school. I finally told him after ignoring him didn't work that I was at school and to leave me alone. I brought dinner home with me and I went in, started eating and watching one of my shows I had DVR'd. He had cleaned up some things around the house that was in desperate need of being cleaned up. I was planning on attacking it Thursday. Right before he left, he made a call, his phone was on speaker and I heard a girls voice. I didn't wanna hear it, so I turned up the tv. I figure, if he wanted to, he could've left before making the call or he could've stepped outside if it was too loud. He was on the phone for almost 10 minutes, then said bye and left. Tonight he IM'd me on the comp about serving the papers. I said put them in the mail. He finally said ok, the said have a good night. I said later. That upset him. He tried pushing. I told him to let it go. He said he was trying to be civil, but that's obviously not what I wanted and continued pushing it. I told him if he wanted civil, he should've started out being civil. I'm not being a b*tch, I'm not being anything. He is acting like a sperm donor, so that's how I'm going to treat him. Later. So overall, I feel good about today!!! It was productive. It was relaxing. We had a good time. And no drama!!! No, I get to study all night for my final tomorrow! :-/
Me- 29 X - 30 M - 7.5 years Final April 2009 S - 2005 D - 2007
Don't make someone a priority who only makes you an option.
A wise fish once said...Just keep swimming...Just keep swimming!
Journaling... So today is my final!!! I actually was able to study last night a bit. And I'm trying to today as well, but I have to take break and let some of the things sink in. I'm really nervous because it's 50% of my grade. I've been doing really well in the class so far, but I'm still a little nervous. Keep me in your prayers!! I'm needing to stay focused on this and not let any of this stuff with STBX interfer with my concentration. I know Satan will try his hardest to put obstacles in front of me like he has been doing this whole time. But I know if I let God work, He will help me and get me thru this.
Me- 29 X - 30 M - 7.5 years Final April 2009 S - 2005 D - 2007
Don't make someone a priority who only makes you an option.
A wise fish once said...Just keep swimming...Just keep swimming!
I passed my final!!! yay!!! Now I just have my final practical draw on Monday. But I feel so much better now that the written exam is over!! That means I can actually spend time cleaning my house this weekend instead of studying!!! A few of us from class went out afterward to celebrate and had a great time!! Had to take S3 to the eye dr this morning. My dog stepped on his eye the other night and he has a corneal abrasion. Poor thing. But it's healing nicely. On the way there, he informed me that him, STBX and D1 and OW went out last night. And yesterday afternoon, I specifically asked STBX not to have her around them last night because I didn't want to have to deal with it. He said, 'When I see the kids during the week, I'm not going to have her around. It's my time with them and I'm not going to spend it driving 2 hours with them to her place and back." Its a good thing I can trust him to do as I ask. :-/
Me- 29 X - 30 M - 7.5 years Final April 2009 S - 2005 D - 2007
Don't make someone a priority who only makes you an option.
A wise fish once said...Just keep swimming...Just keep swimming!
Went grocery shopping. The kids were great! Had a nice time, except for the weird lady standing in line behind me who kept insisting that it wasn't healthy for my kids to drink applejuice because it can cause really bad diarhea! So I would be better off giving them cranberry juice because it's good for the kidneys. wtf!? Who does that?! So I just told her applejuice is good for you as well, keeps you regular! lol
Ok... this is funny.
Dont you just love those well-meaning busy-bodies who dispense their tid bits of wisdom so un-edited?
When someone engages me with meaningless or uninvited data. I have on a couple of occasions just stared blankly back at them and said in a flat tone, "Did you know that the average gestation period for the african elephant is 11 months?". THen just stare at them silently.
If they re-engage. You can always try... "I have to go now, my caregiver is waiting to take me back to the center".
And if really cornered or desparate, try the autistic melt-down complete with self-injurious behaviour (head smacking is always a convenient option). See Rain Man with Dusting Hoffman when he doesnt want to get on the plane.
Anyway... sounds like you are doing ok in this crazy time in your life. Doing better than I did.
Hey - just caught up and read the good news about the test!! Hope the draw goes just as well.
About a L...call your local women's center, they might have a referral. Also, the courts might have someone...I think I remember there being a certain number of Ls who take on pro bono cases... Try Family Matters...
As far as your stbx and the gf......I found out the hard way that there isn't a damn thing you can do to keep her away from the kids, and he probably knows it, which is why he is ignoring you. Unless she poses serious, bodily harm, it is near impossible.
Not sure on keeping her out of your house, though. There may be a motion that you can file which declares the house your domicile, in which you can make such decisions (probably varies from state to state). Another Q for a L or Family Matters...
hang in there....we've lived it. You will get to the other side, believe it.
