I just left the most depressing post on R2Cs thread.
Then I come over to read yours and you fill my heart back up with love and bring tears of comfort to my eyes. You have that power from God girl!!! Dont you lose it.
Notice I said comfort. Thats what I need about now. S2 this week Im trying to drop the rope and let go. Im trying to figure out in my head how to my girls what is going to happen.
I am getting absolutely nothing from my w and I cant take this anymore. Im tired of limboland.
I told my w the other night at 2 in the morning to choose. Face her fears and work on herself to help us, or,
Run away from her fears and we will sell the house and seperate.
Im spent S2. I cant do it anymore. There was hope, but that went out the window today. Im exhausted and mentally fatigued. Physically and emotionally drained.
The love dare IS teaching me alot. And I am doing the dares no problem and putting 100% effort into it.
My pastor collapsed at early morning prayer on tues morning. They rushed him to the hospital and still dont know what is wrong with him but his blood count keeps dropping. Im worried sick.
When it rains...it pours.
Joe
M: 37 WAW: 35 D's: 9 & 7 M: 13 Bomb: 01/28/08 Status: Limboland Total bomb drops: Lost count! Support: Here, God above, and now the Love Dare
Dearest Joe, at the risk of sounding like some spiritual fanatic (and I seem to be doing that lately) I think you have reached the place that you can finally, truly, just lay everything in God’s lap and say, “Here it is…..do whatever.” When we are mentally, physically, and emotionally spent, then we turn lose and we are actually thinking...."What do I have to lose, so I'll turn everything over to God, now". Of course, we don't say that out loud or admit that, but I think as human beings, we just have to be shown that our power is limited b/c we still want to try to figure out some way to fix things.
I thought of so many of my friends here yesterday b/c I knew it was going to be a very hard day for a lot of you. Next month will be even harder......unless you can truly do as you said and drop the rope. But Joe, one of the first things Michelle teaches us in DB is to take care of ourselves......and right now, you need to seriously take care of Joe. Your girls depend on you, and you are the only "Joe" you've got......so please stop trying to figure everything out and "working" at the M or deciding to get a S or a D or selling or buying or making any kind of major decisions that will change your life and your family's forever......for this next month. Can you do that? Can you take a month of mental and emotional vacation? I think it is call preservation. Sweetie, you have got to rest your mind, spirit and body or you can’t keep going. You have taken a beating and you need to take care of yourself just as if you had been to war and had battle fatigue.
December is a sad month for so many people b/c of what the commercial world has done to our mentality of the whole purpose of Christmas. The commercials on TV, the ads, everything screams at us that this is suppose to be the happiest season of the year. I have been telling some others here to stay away from watching sad shows or even those Christmas “specials” that are suppose to be a family warm fuzzy movie…..b/c it will bring you down and that is what you don’t need to be watching and thinking about during this time. The commercial world tells us this is a special time for families and they pour a lot of time and expense into “family” themes just to make more money. The truth is that they are trying to make December some type of “Christmas Magic Month” and have people to buy into all of that. I don’t have to tell you what the purpose of Christmas is…..but all of us have done what the “world” has taught us to do. Every month should be the same with families and with celebrating the birth of Christ, etc.
Anyway, I’m just saying to protect yourself throughout next month and stay away from the type of stuff that you know is going to be depressing (as best that you can). Watch funny movies with the kids, and do fun things. Rest as much as you possibly can, but please, please do not stay at home alone and be overcome with all of this that is hitting you right now. B/c of our mentality about the month of December, it makes any other problem magnified much worse (or so it seems) than it would be any other time of the year. Maybe it isn’t that way for everyone…..and maybe you are one of the few that it doesn’t affect that way. I hope you are one of the few. But, my plea is that you will give yourself a gift by focusing on Joe and his daughters and stop thinking about your W or anything connected with that stitch. Yeah, I know….easy to say, huh? Just try to think of it as being God’s problem now….not yours. Do it for one month. Can you? I mean seriously, can you, or do you have to make certain major decisions before another month goes by?
Your Pastor is an example of what can happen by taking on too much. They are just humans also, so learn by that, Joe. I will be praying for him.
It makes me feel very special that you thought enough of me to write to me during the holiday. You do need comfort and you do need encouragement and hope……..I’m afraid I get to sounding “preachy” myself when I am trying to encourage, (and yes, my post are way tooo long…lol), but I am concerned for you and I want you to be happy. I know that you CAN be, but right now things look very dark and hopeless. I could go on for hours about the Lord and scripture and all of that, but again…..I think for right now…you just need to try to stop thinking…..period. For a month (lol). Take a break from all the drama the best that you can by avoiding your wife by all contact, etc. If necessary, tell her, “Let’s just take a break from each other’s drama for one month and try to have peace away from each other.” Whether it means her staying one place and you another and having to co-parent the kids……just coop with that part the best you can, but stay away from her. It’s survival. And, Joe, you will be happy again…..someday…..and that is the hope to cling to.
Please take care, Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Sandi - I was just stopping in to wish you a happy Thanksgiving and saw Amy's post and your response. I can't say it any better than Amy, but you truly are a godsend out here. Every time I read your posts I walk away feeling better -- they touch my heart. I'm so glad you and your H had that moment yesterday. That's a beautiful thing -- thanks for sharing.
Me-44, W-45 Together-25 yrs, Married-21 yrs D-17,S-15,D-13,S-10 ILYBNILWY Bomb: 10/2007 Status: Divorce Mediation, Still under same roof My Story
Dear Edge.......I hardly know what to say. All of you have been so sweet and kind to me that I feel the Lord has blessed me so much. I am sitting here thinking, "How do I say thank you to somebody that has said what you did?" Wow! As you know (lol) it takes a lot to make me speechless.....but I think you did it. You are one of my "sweetie-pies" and I hope you don't mind me using that old fashion endearment, but that is how I feel toward you. Thank you so much. I will be praying for you and your family through all the holiday season. I know it's tough.
Love, Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
All of you have been so sweet and kind to me that I feel the Lord has blessed me so much. I am sitting here thinking, "How do I say thank you to somebody that has said what you did?" Wow! As you know (lol) it takes a lot to make me speechless.....but I think you did it. You are one of my "sweetie-pies" and I hope you don't mind me using that old fashion endearment, but that is how I feel toward you. Thank you so much. I will be praying for you and your family through all the holiday season. I know it's tough.