Wow! Has it really been this long since I checked in? My physical situation is still the same, still married but verrrrry little contact. I am doing ok though. My daughter has some friends she moved in with and they have embraced me also. I have a nice guy I am seeing who knows about my situation and I have ducks, chickens and peacocks along with a dog, 2 cats and 3 horses so life is good. I have pushed H a little by asking "what now 5 years later?" and "what do you want". I get no answer so I am sure he is still totally confused/depressed. My daughter said he lost 2 of his best friends to drugs/alcohol, not to mention his 29 year old gf who figured out he wasn't going to divorce me. I am still on the line looking both ways. I want to try to restore a relationsip with H but I can't see him doing anything. Any thoughts?
Sitting quietly doing nothing, the flowers bloom effortlessly.
bomb: Jan 25, 2006 not seen since DD moved in with H - 9/1/08 H filed for divorce - 11/2008 Divorce dismissed by courts - 4/2010 still nothing
I don't know that I really have anything to offer with regards to your question. I'm about a year behind you and the only real difference seems to be that my H still has not filed.
For what it's worth, if you would still like to restore a relationship with your H and you don't mind just hangin' out to see what happens...I guess you wait.
I have three questions; since you are seeing a nice guy, do you really want to wait?
Also, does the nice guy know that you want a relationship with your H? What does he say about it?
I have just started seeing him so don't know where it will go. He is 5 years younger than me (yep, cougaring!!!)and is just starting in the workforce again. There is a lot to find out about each other before we have more of a committment. He did come out and tried to fix my furnace when I had no heat. (Bonus for bringing steaks with him!) and he has a good sense of humor and seems to be a hard worker. He does know about H and is ok so far. He just says since it has been 5 years with little to no contact it is not a marriage only a piece of paper. I just want to enjoy companionship right now. I still feel the "he will leave me" issues so I have stuff to work on myself still.
Sitting quietly doing nothing, the flowers bloom effortlessly.
bomb: Jan 25, 2006 not seen since DD moved in with H - 9/1/08 H filed for divorce - 11/2008 Divorce dismissed by courts - 4/2010 still nothing
BP--you are quite a testament to staying power. You know someone is going to say this...but what do you want?
One of the last- last resorts is to file for divorce yourself, as it might force some action. If you are feeling ready to see someone else, you could consider this option.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
I do struggle with this. I would have to pay H for half of the equity on the house which is a good chunk, possibly around $30,000. Sometimes I wonder about this excuse. What I really want is to see if my H and I could have a marriage but he hasn't wanted to even speak to me or see me in 5 years so this seems very far away. I don't know why I won't give up on this idea and will probably have to do something eventually.
Sitting quietly doing nothing, the flowers bloom effortlessly.
bomb: Jan 25, 2006 not seen since DD moved in with H - 9/1/08 H filed for divorce - 11/2008 Divorce dismissed by courts - 4/2010 still nothing
