Have you ever tried the DB coaches? They may be able to give you some ideas. I know all of this is hard. I wish I could give everyone the answers that they want and need so badly. Focus on today and how you can make it work for you.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Crud! I just did a whole long post to you and my L called, and it disappeared. But anyway, I was posting that I think you're doing a great job. Distracting is what my #1 coping mechanism too, that and exercising. A job can also give you extra self-confidence. People at jobs, bosses and supervisors usually give lots of positive reinforcement and all that. Extra money's always good too! I'm always working on trying to improve myself, and make myself a better person, and I think that's always a good idea. (((Lyn)))) Karen
Thank you both so much! I just can't believe all the evil things I feel I have endured because of him! And I am sure it is not over. But he just gets up every day and goes on his merry way thinking he is "Gods Gift" I've heard that term my whole life (I'm from the south east) but honestly until lately and dealing with his ego and his paternal ego it never really sunk in. OMG! Maybe I'm a "patsy" but if he can look at himself everyday and not have any guilt over what he's done to me and now our children then he is evil to the core. I guess I need to start feeling pity for him. Because the depths of his betrayal and the fact that he thinks it is OK just scares me to the core and to think that I married him.
The funny thing is I joined this BB to keep my marriage together and now I just want to end it quick. Now every day when I learn something even more horrific from the week before and sometimes just recognize things I tried to overlook and I am truly scared that I've been with this person for 20 years. I know Marriage has ups and downs and I always accepted that. Now I feel he has left me no other choice. I feel so much anguish that my kids thanksgiving and christmas will probably be scarred for years to come. But I have postponed and postponed and postponed always waiting for the next sign and he would always turn into prince charming for a couple of days at a time. Anyway I thank you both so much for giving me such comforting support.
Me 46/H 48 M 19/T 20 S 16 D 9 Bomb 2/9/08 OW 2/29/08 Ended A 3/12/08 (LIAR)
Do you want to know what has helped me cope the most? Reaching out to other people and posting and trying to help be a support to them. Think of Princess Di. Should had all that cr@p going on in her life, maybe she didn't always deal with it in the best way, but she went to those that needed comfort and hope and in the process helped herself.
Make a wonderful day today. I'm including some white-out in case you need to edit.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Kat you are so nice wish I could actually meet you some day I bet you are the greatest BFF :-) I love the "white out" part. I forgot you said that before. It is such a good way to think. I have actually tried to reach out to others here a bit in the past. Honestly I feel I don't have enough time and usually experience. I try to post things but in order to do that I have to read everything I missed and that takes so much time. I guess that is whining. And H has been around the last few weeks so not much private time to use the BB.
But I am trying to think about how to make the day wonderful for me and my children. I guess that is the best I can do.
Me 46/H 48 M 19/T 20 S 16 D 9 Bomb 2/9/08 OW 2/29/08 Ended A 3/12/08 (LIAR)
Oh sweetie, you make me blush! Thanks for the kind words. I know it takes time to come here. Sadly, I don't read everyones posts. There are a few people left on here that were here when I started and I have added a few new ones that I keep up with.
I am no puppy or whatdid, but I just hope that most of the time I am able to bring a smile or give a thought that pushes all this stuff out of the way for a bit.
I still have issues going on, sadly, but everyone here is a great help to me. I hope you find the friendship and comfort from this BB that I have.
hugs, kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Right back at you. I can't believe how long this has been going on. I was just looking at pictures from a wedding that happened a few weeks ago. I'm friends with a relative and they sent me a link to the website it's on one of those photo sites that has web sharing. Amazing stuff! Anyway, the photos are fantastic. They apparently spared no expense. Anyway, when I got to the end of the 300 some photos I couldn't believe it didn't bother me. All I could think is how precious, I mean you are always happy at first ?? right? and there were flower girls etc. I just thought how the little girls are probably wishing that was their wedding and then I realized that I could actually look at the pictures without weeping. A few months ago I had to hide all our photos of us as a couple, especially the wedding ones that I had placed all around the house for the past 20 years. It is sad but at least I'm not paralyzed by it anymore. Well I'm off the gym and do some consignment stuff.
Time to soak up the sun :-)
Me 46/H 48 M 19/T 20 S 16 D 9 Bomb 2/9/08 OW 2/29/08 Ended A 3/12/08 (LIAR)
Hi Sir, that sounds like tough love! I know it's not OK just shows how manic he can be. The last few days have been OK I just try to keep a low profile and remind myself I'm doing this for my kids. If we can get through the holidays and I still feel the way I do, I will have to make a hard choice. In the meantime it's all about the kids! Thanks for your words.
Me 46/H 48 M 19/T 20 S 16 D 9 Bomb 2/9/08 OW 2/29/08 Ended A 3/12/08 (LIAR)
Feeling great today, H took the kids to his folks and I have peace and quiet for a couple of days. Feeling like I will get a lot done around here. Also don't have to cook or clean! Just going to do stuff for me.
Lyn
Me 46/H 48 M 19/T 20 S 16 D 9 Bomb 2/9/08 OW 2/29/08 Ended A 3/12/08 (LIAR)
