I'm trying to figure out whether or not I fall into the "piecing" category. H and I had a huge blow up about 2 1/2 months ago and decided to D, and it's been a roller coaster since then. A few weeks ago I managed to find some inner peace and now I'm able to start doing some solution-focused things to bring us closer. We're living together. We put our rings back on about a month ago, at my request (though he had to think about it for a couple days before doing it). He still does not know whether he wants to stay married or get divorced. We are not sexually intimate, he doesn't want to be that way when he isn't committed to me, yet there has been a steady increase in physical contact. And he is committed to *working* on the R and trying to make things better between us. He is not about to just get up and walk out the door, though he says he is unhappy with me (he also says he is not sure whether he would be happy without me). He has been amazingly attentive to my feelings and concerns over the past month. Always open/willing to talk about issues. He says he doesn't have the answers, and I told him he doesn't have to have the answers and that I just want him to be willing to keep working.
So does this count as piecing or not? I am confused.
Me - 31 H - 31 M-6 T-8 S - 7 (he is a cat) my thread The truth is NOT as bad as your feelings.
I would say you are certainly not done. It sounds like you have an opportunity to try and work on your relationship. What are you doing to work on it? Counseling? Books? Discussions? Read advice on this and newcomers boards and it will give you an idea of where to start.
For me in a similarish situtation, I have found that working on myself is almost if not more important than work on the relationship. I need that peace of knowing I will be okay no matter what. So take a look at what you are doing, set some goals and stay the course. Reading here is helpful, journal here or elsewhere, find a person or persons you trust and can use as a sounding board. Don't over analyze, something I still struggle with.
Hugs, I know this is hard
Me 41 H 42 DD 11 DS 8 M 18 bomb 8/3/06 separating 9/18/08
