So I am toying with asking the courts to administer the spousal support. I just have a feeling TJ might follow MLC rules and play games with all sorts of payments.
Holly, When my X and I were working with the mediator hammering out our agreement he asked her if he would be able to just cut me a check every month. She told him that would depend on whether I trusted him to do so without any problems. She then looked at me and asked me if I trusted him to that degree. With a shake of my head I clearly said "no, I do not." She turned back to him and told him he had his answer. My support is directly deposited into my checking account each month and I don't have to wonder what he will pull as the beginning of each month rolls around.
Do what you have to do to protect yourself. Knowing you don't have to deal with jacka$$ery each month is well worth getting the order for a direct deposit through the system.
~ swl
I have the same agreement...and it takes the drama out.
You don't have to ask. He doesn't have to hedge, make an excuse, yada yada.
sg Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
While I haven't had a lot of time to catch up, I did see that it appears it didn't work out. I am so sorry. If anyone, deserved a chance for it to work out - it was you.
(((((((((((((((((((((Holly)))))))))))))))))))))
I hope you are doing okay. It can't be easy right now and I know for me being divorced for well over a year now, my crazy interactions with XW are never ending.... Did I mention it's a full moon right now?
In any case, I promise to catch up on your sitch. Haven't been around much, but have been thinking about my DB friends... Hmmmmm still think I have that hat with your smooch on it!!! LOL
Hang in there. I will be back soon with some cold drinks and perhaps some cheese doodles or squeeze cheese if the mood catches me right!
I just caught up with your sitch.. I am sorry about the divorce. You know that is what I went through also. Some need to do this. It just blows my mind.
If this gives you any consolation. They are even more miserable after the big D. Nothing changes until they wake up..
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
I am so glad to hear from you! Thank you for keeping up with me. I am fine. I do believe my best interest is met when this D is final. I am OK. I am not done, frankly, I do believe that he needs to lose me to lose his mind completely. What an honor, to be the loss that he needs to straighten his life out and become a better man. I hope you are happy Sir Santhony. You are a knight in shining armor. When you get a chance, catch us up. OK? Take care of those wonderful kids, especially my namesake!!!:) Trusting, thank you. Yes, it does help. Not that I want any human being to be miserable, but if it helps TJ to become a better man in the long run, so be it. I trust God to guide this. I have given it to Him over and over and over again.
I do believe that my chances go up after the D. In any case, I believe his D will give me what I need to finish my journey.
I just got back from a lovely vacation. I was happy and content and did not really think about all this at all. I vacationed with a girlfriend and her 5 year old son. The last day I designed a treasure hunt for him. I purchased pirate tatoos, pirate figures, added some coins and other cute treasure type things. I buried the "treasure" and drew a map for him to discover and watch him find the treasure. It was so funny to see him go all over after the warning not to talk to anyone least they are the pirate who lost the treasure. He bought it hook line and sinker!!!!! I also found myself quietly content to live my life without TJ. I don't know if the feeling is permanent or just that I was not "living" alone. I was content. In a way that surpised me. But I am ready for the future without him. As we approached our home state, I got a little teary. I loved having a vacation from misery. Let's see what happen.
Funny thing happened last night. I googled TJ. An interview he did came with a local paper came up. It was published in June. I think he sounded a bit bizzare and not very clear. He did not really answer the question that was posed. He rambled. Thank you all. I found comfort in reading tonight. Always, Holly
Bomb 1/06 D dismissed 11/07, attempt reconciliation. Premature. Divorce final October 31, 2008. OW looks like bad history. Over. Still hopeful. Baby steps. In R with my X.
Glad you enjoyed your vacation. School will start soon enough for you. Some of us have to go to school all year round I have some time off coming up. Let me know when you start school. Take care and remember that you ARE the prize.
Miss you.
Last edited by ANewMe; 08/17/0803:28 AM.
Everything happens for a reason, maybe Dad needs to find that it isn't better out there, he needs to realize how good he had it here. Maybe he will find God and that is the most important thing when he finds Him he will know he is supposed to come home.
Well well well. I have contact from the alien. He text me and called me. He is ansy about the divorce that "We" have agreed to expedite. He wants me to call him. I will not respond. He is baiting me. He can get the same information by contacting his lawyer. I will not give him any reason to blame me for his unhappiness. He is all on his own there. He sounded good. He cleared his throat and sounded measured and calm. I did not recognize his voice at first. I am taking care of ME. I have my own agenda to see to. I will not give him a chance to bait me into spewing at him. Let him wonder.
I worry that this will seem like I am done. In a way, I am. I do not want this man. If he figures it all out and `comes back crawling, then that is another day.
I think he misses me, and that is why he is choosing this route right now. That or he wants to blame me. Ok. Not interested in soothing him right now. He is on his own.
Having fun with my kids. Just for chuckles, I will report a few Kindy comments from my new darlings. * In an effort to impress his new friend, one young fellow was talking about chest hair with a new classmate as we were walking outside. * As we were listing class rules one little girl (who can't keep her hands out of her shorts) enlightens me with her knowledge of proper animal care: Don't kill chickens. ( I have yet to discover the first chicken in Kindy. I am a bit slow!!!) Another cherub. cutie pie wants to inform me that a good class rule is no flipping people off. Guess you have to know the family.
All is well. Typical kids. Love them all. Maybe have to bring my pole in for inside recess. Hoooolly
Bomb 1/06 D dismissed 11/07, attempt reconciliation. Premature. Divorce final October 31, 2008. OW looks like bad history. Over. Still hopeful. Baby steps. In R with my X.
You are doing okay and nope, you do not want to get caught up in his drama. God will open his eyes. By the way, I changed my name which you may have guessed by now.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Bomb 1/06 D dismissed 11/07, attempt reconciliation. Premature. Divorce final October 31, 2008. OW looks like bad history. Over. Still hopeful. Baby steps. In R with my X.
I have some time off coming up. Let me know when you start school. Take care and remember that you ARE the prize.