The ball is rolling. I am still praying for my marriage but I take solice in the fact that there may be someone better for me out there and if not I can be ok on my own. I am still madly in love with my husband. How do I let go?
Be patient with yourself. It's a process. Something that came to mind that's been helpful to me, is to.....
Actively replace your old dreams with new ones.
None of this happens overnight, but this works and it's easy to start doing.
Our dreams are what give us HOPE... bring us into the future. They can also cause us to hold onto the past.
Many, many dreams are built as we go through life. It's inevitable that many if not most of our dreams included our spouse, as that was the future as we knew it. So, they were tied to our hope for the future.... which can make it hard to let go of them even when it's in our best interest. The little book Who Moved My Cheese? comes to mind here too. I thinks it's great for this kind of stuff. But, anyway.....
If we create new dreams based on the present, it's easier to let go of old dreams that were based on things no longer in our life. By doing that, we gain renewed hope for the future and the ability to let go of someone who is not reciprocating that love.
It's obviously not necessary to give up on all of our hopes and dreams because someone's chosen to jump ship, it just takes time and effort to rewrite some and build others. And those are based on exactly what YOU want and believe YOU deserve. It may cause you to start finding some diamonds in the rough. Now is a wonderful opportunity to start painting the picture of how you want your future to look.
My suggestions when doing this work on the new dreams are to make sure you.....
- Believe in them/yourself - Dream BIG - Be specific - Write them down - Have fun doing it!
Peace and love, f21
Me: 37 M: 14 yrs Separated 10/06; Filed for D 12/07 Life is good.
I discovered in discussion with my STBX that he wasn't aware of the temporary orders he received with the papers that where served to him. I said they are in the papers. His response was that he didn't sign anything and therefore could not be held to the orders and only I could be held to the orders. Then he said that he would not abide by the orders and would spend money as he pleases.
He has always paid the mortgage as he has received an allowance from the Navy. His last day in the Navy was Monday and he does not have a job and of course no longer receives an allowance. He can not afford to pay the mortgage and not only seems to care less but is planning to take a leisure trip to New York in two weeks.
I have contacted my Lawyer to file an order to show cause (OSC) however I am new to this process. Will this allow a judge to order him to stop spending. How long does this take. My concern is that since the trip is only a couple weeks away he will have purchased the tickets before the ball even gets rolling. How does this work?
Posts Role Reversal(original) WAW now LBS part I & II WAW now LBS part III(current) T: 9 yrs M: 8 yrs WAW: Sep 06-Jul 07 LBS: Sep 07-pres.
