Well you might as well say 1 more day, Tuesday is gone. I had a problem today. Its 104 here and son wanted W to go swimming with him. She said “I have nothing to wear and I am too fat" IN MY HEAD I thought. "Being to fat did not bother you when the A$$ H OM wanted to take pictures of you. WILL IT EVER STOP? Why can't I let go. I am not sure I want to be married any more. I can't live with a person that has such a low self estine that she allows herself to be used and yet still thinks she is too good for me. She did cook a Veg. dish for dinner. I told her I want to lose weight. I am so sorry everyone. I know I have it so much better that most of you but I can not let go. I NEED TO HAVE a resolution to this crP with the OFM. The lies don't bother me as much as the giving of herself to him..... I need to go take a swim with my son. I will see ya all in the morning. Friday is the big day....
Dr LOve
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
H, I emailed you yesterday. Did you get it? I also posted under Haunted by Memories in this forum.
LuvMyHusband Me: 41 H: 43 ch: 3 M: 7+ T: 10+ Bomb: EA 8/07, A over phone/net 10/07 Seperated: 9/07 H ended A/EA with OW again on 1/2008 Reconsile: 3/26/2008, H admitted PA
I understand what you mean by resolution with the OFM, OFW in my case. Will the thoughts ever go away?
LuvMyHusband Me: 41 H: 43 ch: 3 M: 7+ T: 10+ Bomb: EA 8/07, A over phone/net 10/07 Seperated: 9/07 H ended A/EA with OW again on 1/2008 Reconsile: 3/26/2008, H admitted PA
Ya I got it. Been going through turmoil lately. Will try to get back to you. Felt better after swim with Son last night. I guess the "tension" of this weekend is starting to get to both of us. I have held both my feelings of hurt, hate and anger. And my feelings of love Want and desire for so long now I don't have any idea which one will come out this weekend. I think I am going to take a 1/2 day off Thursday because my mind will not be on work. I know "go with the flow" I am trying. It's would be so easy to take the easy way out right now and just say forget it. IT"S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN I / WE are going.
But my dreams They aren't as empty As my conscience seems to be
I have hours, only lonely My love is vengeance That's never free
No one knows what it's like To feel these feelings Like I do
Dr LOve
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Hey H, no worries, believe me, I understand. You have been going through this a long time. Atleast the sun is starting to shine through the storm though. Getting her to go to Retro is a HUGE step. She wouldn't be going if she didn't want to work on the R. I understand about holding back your feelings to. I have been reading other threads this morning and at least I know now that my feelings are normal.
Stay focused.
LuvMyHusband Me: 41 H: 43 ch: 3 M: 7+ T: 10+ Bomb: EA 8/07, A over phone/net 10/07 Seperated: 9/07 H ended A/EA with OW again on 1/2008 Reconsile: 3/26/2008, H admitted PA
LuvMyHusband Me: 41 H: 43 ch: 3 M: 7+ T: 10+ Bomb: EA 8/07, A over phone/net 10/07 Seperated: 9/07 H ended A/EA with OW again on 1/2008 Reconsile: 3/26/2008, H admitted PA
WILL IT EVER STOP? Why can't I let go. I am not sure I want to be married any more. I can't live with a person that has such a low self estine that she allows herself to be used and yet still thinks she is too good for me.
Hey Husband, Haven't posted in a while, but I wanted to throw my support your way. The feelings, triggers and wondering you are experiencing are normal and so much more magnified at this point because of the limbo you are living in. The whole relationship is just a big question at this point (and has been for a long time), so I think it is expected that you would be feeling this way.
We can't predict the outcome of the weekend and you can't even say that it will work or not work. In my case, we came out the weekend with both of us having the impression that it was a huge success, but it was fairly short lived. I don't mean to bring anything negative to you, but try to look at the weekend as the start of something new. At least you are moving on in a better direction. Whatever that may be it is better than where you are currently. If you move forward together, that's fabulous. If you don't, you know you've gone above and beyond for your family. Feel good about that. Relax a little and go with the flow. Stop putting pressure on yourself.
