I just wanted to clarify that my XH's new wife is NOT the OW. He met his new wife about a year after our D was final, so I have no bad feelings whatsoever for her. When they met ( which was about 4 years ago), she was living with her in-laws and her 2 kids, then ages 10 and 12. Her husband had passed away from leukemia 7 years prior to that, and she was living with her in-laws to make ends meet. She is a good Mom, a hard worker, and a really nice person. I have to overlook the fact that she is a little "hottie" with a body that doesn't quit! LOL!
I speak highly of her because she has been nothing but wonderful to my children and nothing but a good influence on XH. It seems that they are happy with each other, they have been M for 3 years now. I have long ago figured out that if XH's life is going well and he is happy, that trickles down to my kids. So, I wish him nothing but good things. The fact that he is now being a good Dad makes me respect him ,and the past is now in the past.
Well, I will stop now as not to highjack YOUR thread, as I did VJ's! LOL!
I am glad you enjoyed your breakfast with your gf's...gf's are such a great aspect of life.....I need to find a few more myself!
I have a B.S. in Mathematics and a M.Ed. in Educational Leadership, which certifies me to be an asst. principal or a principal. I am thinking about getting a doctorate also in Ed. Leadership ( It would be an Ed.D.) I don't see myself leaving the classroom and going into administration until my kids are old enough to be by themselves for some time( i.e. about 5 years from now). Asst. Principals have to do things at night, like cover sporting events, plays, concerts, etc. and also have to work an extra 4 weeks a year. It would be a huge raise for me, though, like $20,000 more a year. So, that's my goal for down the road, professionally. Personally, I just have always enjoyed school and have always wanted to get a doctoral degree. I know it will take me FOREVER to do it, but , as my Dad says "How do you eat an elephant?"....."One bite at a time!" LOL!
I was so incredibly impressed with the conference on so many levels. I will just discuss those parts that relate to my posted goals.
Adoption: I found a new agency that I will investigate next week. This one is a better fit for those of Indian heritage. I met a attorney from India that clarified many of the questions I had. I am eligible to apply for OCI status - OCI status significantly improves my standing with respect to adopting from India. I will be working with her and may hire her to facilitate things at the India end of things.
Where do I want to go professionally: I am leaning towards expanding my law firm to generate revenue to fund those causes that matter to me. I am getting increasingly better at containing my work. I would like to explore some pro-bono options.
It is no secret that I become increasingly disillusioned with the manner in which provisions after provision of the Constitution has been disregarded and/or diluted - the justification being it was necessary to conduct the war on terror....
There were several panels with speakers addressing some of these issues - including Patrick Fitzgerald and members of both domestic and international human rights entities - both from the right and the left.
Despite all of the US attorey firings, etc - there are still a few Jedi Knights of the Constitution that are still standing and fighting - at many times placing their careers at risk. I felted so humbled and in awe of these individuals - and a little ashamed that I became so dillusioned and disheartened that I walked away from it all.
My goal with respect to my career is to expand my firm. but to do so with the goal of generating revenue and hiring workhorses - to support my having more time to dedicate to some form of public service. I will explore some pro bono opportunities in August. I want some courtroom experience. I will figure out where I want to go with that in time...
GAL: I had a wonderful extended weekend. I met a lot of great people. I actually stayed out late Fri. night and till 5 am in this morning - playing!
It really was such a privilege and honor to meet some of the people I met this weekend. And while this "terrorist look-alike" thing has been beyond annoying since 9/11 - my Indian heritage is also what provided me with access to being able to network with such incredible people. I had no idea that the South Asian community commanded such respect in sectors of the non-58 million American community.
The one thing that made me smile - you would think we were all raised by cloned parents. Education is everything. We are all not operating at our full potential. You can always work harder. There is always room for improvement. The question is not "can i do it/" - it is "how do I figure out how to get where I want to go." Sometimes a good thing - sometimes a curse.
And off course to top off a perfect weekend - yes, the lighting was bad. But I almost had my Driver's License taken away b/c the bouncer thought I had a fake ID and was underage! LOL! A very nice experience 4 days before my 43rd birthday.
Life is good. I really feel very rested and quite content.
That sounds like an excellent weekend. How did you manage to stay up until 5A? I would have been sleeping on my feet!
Quote:
Adoption: I found a new agency that I will investigate next week. This one is a better fit for those of Indian heritage. I met a attorney from India that clarified many of the questions I had. I am eligible to apply for OCI status - OCI status significantly improves my standing with respect to adopting from India. I will be working with her and may hire her to facilitate things at the India end of things.
I don't now what OCI status is. Whatever it is, I'm glad you can get it and it will help!
Quote:
Where do I want to go professionally: I am leaning towards expanding my law firm to generate revenue to fund those causes that matter to me. I am getting increasingly better at containing my work. I would like to explore some pro-bono options.
Powerful. This will give your passions a chance to shine. Looking forward to hearing which causes you'll be giving time/money to.
Maybe you've come across the fountain of youth somewhere in your life. There is no way anyone would mistaken me for someone under aged! D@mn good genes!
How did you manage to stay up until 5A? I would have been sleeping on my feet!
You know the funny thing is that while I no longer seem to have the ability to stay up all night and work - throw in some good company, wine and cheetos (hee hee- haven't had those in years) -and NO WORK - and I seem to do fine!
The Bar Association conference included an Indian social gathering component and a professional gathering component. I didn't know that before hand - but the lots of the women wore saris at the dinner banquet Sat night. There was really good Indian food and a really good very interesting band - An African-Caribbean-Bhangra Fusion Band.
Everyone changed and many of us went to out for the night life. And after that - we had a suite rented at the hotel that was stocked with food and wine/alcohol for 2 am onwards.
Next year, the gathering is in Vancouver. I will be going!
Quote:
I don't now what OCI status is. Whatever it is, I'm glad you can get it and it will help!
The US allows dual citizenship - India does not. India provides a hybrid status - that facilites activities that provide access to our money but denies us the rights of citizens. That status is an Overseas Citizen of India status. You have to show proof that both of your parents were born in India.
The only complication may be that my parents were born in British India in the part that is currently Bangladesh. We'll see...
India gives preferential treatment to OCI's when it comes to adoptions b/c they prefer that Indian children be adopted by families that are committed to raising the child in accordance with Indian heritage and values.
In the past NRI - Non-Resident Indian status (a real Indian citizen living here) was the best status for adoption purposes. With recent changes in law - OCI is on par with NRI.
I am so glad that I went to this conference. The attorney from India in the audience is the one that told me about this. The panel was US adoption agency based and disappointing - they spouted the same crap and inconsistencies that my own US based agency spouts and then some...
The new adoption agency I am exploring provides me with access to all orphanages in India. It does require more involvement on my part - but that is okay b/c I am comfortable traveling in India and have family and am networking with Indian attorneys that know the Indian system of law.
Most US agencies have their own orphanage and will only facilate adoptions through their own counterpart Indian orphanage.
Quote:
Looking forward to hearing which causes you'll be giving time/money to.
I will figure that one out with time... I think I have grown enough over the past 5 years to be able to operate with a greater level of detachment when facing some of the not so fair things that happen to people. In the past - I was too reactive and walked away from things that really didn't do anyone any good - and I would end up angry and disillusioned with the system.
I think I am getting better at recognizing that there are limitations to the system - but doing something is better than doing nothing. And a level of detachment enables me to do something - as opposed to nothing.
However that being said - I will never run for office b/c I do not want to have deal with placing my heritage on trial.
Quote:
Maybe you've come across the fountain of youth somewhere in your life.
I think the lighting was really bad. LOL! I don't look 43 but I certainly do not look underage.
I do believe some sort of fountain is located on my face - I literally sweat more on my face that anywhere else and become a spouting fountain with flying beads of sweat when I work out! LOL!
One thing I really enjoyed at the conference was there was roughly a 50/50 split in the number of men/women at the conference.
And in my heritage we typically address non-relative men and women as brothers and sisters in our own languages - we also address none relative adults as aunts and uncles.
Of course - it is different among singles that are dating - or where the people are available in accordance with societies standards.
That injects a level of respect in interactions with the opposite sex. And also the mindset of gender based equality. Our bar association officers are men and women - again rougly equal split.
It was nice interacting with men w/o feeling like I was being objectified. Perhaps part of why I get so annoyed when people at work focus on my appearance over my brain - is b/c that is just not that common in my culture.
And when people I don't even know engage in sexual/gender specific appearance based flirting with me or objectify me - it also really annoys me. I am wondering if that is true b/c it is contrary to the social norms in my culture.
It was interesting b/c there are Indians from India that are becoming relatively more western than those of us raised abroad. Ironically - those of us born and raised here are more conservative than our born and raised in India counterparts - b/c we were raised in isolation as our parents were raised w/o any exposure to the evolving social norms of our own generation in India.
While we all share the bond of a common heritage - there were differences between those of us raised abroad and those raised in India. For examples, Indians from India tend to drink more and smoke b/c it is considered to be western.
It was a really great weekend. And I intereacted with men in a way that was comfortable to me. It made me realize how much higher my guard is when I interact with men outside my own heritage b/c of that whole being viewed as a woman/sexual objectification first and a human being second.
I think if I get M again - it will be to an Indian - it would be nice if I can find one that was born and raised here... The older I get, the more I find myself drawn back to my own culture and heritage.
Life is good. And of course - now I have to work! It is a NORMAL Monday for me!
