I think the reverting back to pet names thing is a sign of comfort with you. This is good as it shows that your DBing has reduced any stress she felt around you. However, it may or may not be an indication of how interested she may or may not be in you.
I know I have a few times called W "honey" or even a pet name. This is more related to the lack of stress between us and force of habit than any desire I have to be with her.
Just my $.02!
SD
Me 41 W 41 Kids: S9 S7 Married 16 years Bomb dropped 2/2/07 Still living together! current thread
Good thoughts on this, MM--and good strategy too. It does speak to a certain comfort level though, that seems pretty likely. There's always the question of whether we should reciprocate with pet names back...how have you handled this one, C_K?
SD I do agree it realy relates to a comfort level. This in itself as you say does not mean anything regarding the future.
Purr I have actualy given her a new pet name in the last few months ( "blondie" hardly original ) but she seems to like it and it started from me teasing her about some of her "blond" moments.
Here are some of the ups and downs
I was tired and feeling down the other night and in a moment of weakness , sent her a text telling her I was sad she was not here. I got no reply and it is extremely rare for her not to reply. I sort of took it as she realy doesnt know what to say.I know she doesnt want to hurt me so tends to avoid saying stuff that would.
The next day I was away at a track day about 2hrs away from home. Had a great day , the new brakes on the bike working well and I managed to stay upright , lots of very fast fun.
I get home and W's car is there , my car not. So once again W feels comfortable enough to borrow my car without asking. I realy didnt care I had had far to good a day. W returned with D a few minutes later , I was very cold from the ride so attemted to rub my cold nose on her neck grabed her arms as she tryed to get away and pulled her close , she was laughing so I guess that was OK fun.
W stayed for a takeaway dinner. I teased her a bit and she left sticking her tounge out and smiling.
While I was away a male friend of mine called around to see me and ran into W . It happens that his W is moving out and he was looking for a bit of support . W got the full story from him so I think it at least gives her a bit of an insight as to what the LBS is going through. When she was telling me about it she said that his W is just where she was and confused. Unfortunatley she did not say much else.
Tonight she drops around to pick up D and is still around later in the afternoon , then asks what are you making me for dinner ?
BUT I am finding this quite hard , she is here and its all great but then she is gone and the reality is still here. I still go to bed alone , she comes on her own terms and has limited interest in my life outside of that that has some direct impact on her. As strange as it may seem the better we get on the more I hurt about the loss.
Its like letting some one see and smell their favourite dinner then taking it away before they get to eat and doing it every few days.
I am considering something that could backfire but its a sort of LRT . I am thinking of telling W that this is hard on me and that I would like a period of limited contact , I will think about this over the next day or two and post more before I do anything.
Not too much to tell other than I am in a better place PMA wise. I have had limited contact with W and its worked out that way with schedules and school holidays. It seems the less I see her the better I feel ( now there is something to ponder ) . When I did see her a couple of nights ago it was at her request as D wanted to go there while I went to a meeting. I always do what I can to make it a light and enjoyable time when I see W. A joke or two , listen to her , tease her a little.
I am reasonably sure there is still contact with OM but its still very secretive , I have never met him , know very little about him . I wonder if he is married ? in any case nothing I can do about it and I cant see it being a very fullfilling relationship at all.
So I have a busy few days planned a couple with the Kids and a couple doing my own thing. I am taking a female friend to an event on Saturday ( no romantic overtones ) just along for company. I will tell W if I get the chance as I like to be up front with her. W wont like it much but too bad.
Sorry brotha -- I've been meaning to respond to some of your stuff but have gotten side tracked or put it off for a bit. Anyway, I thought I'd at least respond to your most recent post:
Quote:
I am reasonably sure there is still contact with OM but its still very secretive
Why do you say this? What is your basis for this assumption? Just curious, as I haven't seen you mention him for quite some time.
Quote:
I am taking a female friend to an event on Saturday ( no romantic overtones ) just along for company. I will tell W if I get the chance as I like to be up front with her. W wont like it much but too bad.
Sorry brotha -- I've been meaning to respond to some of your stuff but have gotten side tracked or put it off for a bit. Anyway, I thought I'd at least respond to your most recent post:
Quote:
I am reasonably sure there is still contact with OM but its still very secretive
Why do you say this? What is your basis for this assumption? Just curious, as I haven't seen you mention him for quite some time.
Quote:
I am taking a female friend to an event on Saturday ( no romantic overtones ) just along for company. I will tell W if I get the chance as I like to be up front with her. W wont like it much but too bad.
Interesting...
Can you elaborate a little?
GD
GD , still looking for your thread , do you have one going??
With regards to the A , I am not sure but had been around the house the other day and there was something she had printed out , a list of names , hers the three kids and ** OM . Plus a few other things , I am pretty good at picking up the signs now. So I am not sure , and realy it doesnt worry me too much. Probably have not mentioned it because its not "in my face" as much , which is a good thing.
As for my friend , she has been part of a group I hang around with and have known her for a few years. she has had a couple of Boy friends through that time but currently unattached. Has an interest in Motorbikes , wants to go to this event ,has no one to go with , so I said come along with me. Simple as that. Nothing exciting sorry GD
Now an update.
W arrived at home late yesterday afternoon , was quite unexpected. She stopped for a coffee and had that lost puppy look , so softy asked her if she wanted to stay for dinner , which she happily accepted. After dinner I went to clear up and the Kids took off in different directions as they do leaving W by herself. I said something to her and got no reply. Look across and she was in tears. I asked are you OK ? she said No . I asked if she wanted coffee she said "no I have to go , I can see I am not Welcome here" and off she went .
I can only guess at what went on in her head but she was here on a "normal" night , not family dinner night. So saw the house hold working as it normaly does and probably realised that its happening without her , a normal happy family doing normal things.
Unfortunatly I was left to settle an upset D who wonderered why W left suddenly.
D loves her mum and loves her home here , wants her Mum to be here spending time with her.
Hi Dave, Sounds like you are still on a bit of a roller-coaster there!
Quote:
I have had limited contact with W and its worked out that way with schedules and school holidays. It seems the less I see her the better I feel ( now there is something to ponder ) .
I know exactly what you mean. I figured this out last summer when I didn't see W for a month and it was the best month I had had in years! IMHO, it means that your W is in MLC and no fun to be around!!! Don't interpret it for much more than that.
Quote:
Unfortunately I was left to settle an upset D who wonderered why W left suddenly.
Sorry about that. Seems like your W was feeling lonely and stopped by to refill her tank. When everyone went their own way and did not re-arange their lives for her, her egocentric little MLC Self just couldn't deal with it. Again, focussing on you and the kids is the only productive thing to do.
Take care, SD!
Me 41 W 41 Kids: S9 S7 Married 16 years Bomb dropped 2/2/07 Still living together! current thread
Dave, I echo exactly what SD said. She is starting to see that you are able to get by just fine without her, and that is bothering her.
Me: 54 Her: 50 and sexy as hell M: 32yrs T: 34yrs Bomb: Sept 26-07 "lost our emotional connection" Bomb 2: Dec 25-07 she's "not feeling desire" She asked if she could come home Apr 26-08! Everything's GREAT!
I do have a thread that I occassionally update, but it's still on the Newcomers forum. I really need to move it to a more appropriate forum! I haven't updated it in several days, so you'll have to go back a ways (probably a week or so).
In my last post, I was actually curious as to why W wouldn't be happy with you going to an event with another woman who is just a friend, esp given the current circumstances?
Quote:
I went to clear up and the Kids took off in different directions as they do leaving W by herself. I said something to her and got no reply. Look across and she was in tears.
That must have been surprising for you. Has she behaved like this before?
Quote:
I asked if she wanted coffee she said "no I have to go , I can see I am not Welcome here" and off she went .
Did you respond to that last statement? Anything else said before she left?
I agree with a lot of what SD said regarding the MLC stuff. Sounds pretty accurate.
Seems like your W was feeling lonely and stopped by to refill her tank. When everyone went their own way and did not re-arange their lives for her, her egocentric little MLC Self just couldn't deal with it. Again, focussing on you and the kids is the only productive thing to do.