Hey bit, let go of June 3rd for now until it comes ok. Just forget about thinking about the do I file or not until that day comes. Get it out of your head, it's not going away. We will deal with that when the time comes.
Shoot me an email when you get a chance bit, gasmanmem@hotmail.com.
i meant to say i work out 2 or 3 times a day not a week. 2 or 3 a week wouldn't be very much now would it. i usually bike 20 to 25 miles in morning, lift weights in the afternoon, and i play in a mens basketball league a couple of days a week.
anyhow just wanted to clear it up i was embarrassed by bragging about working out 2 days a week.:)
jr
my wife couldn't have been brewing that long we were only married a couple of months. heck she bought house furniture a couple of weeks before the bomb. not to mention she was giving me cards telling me how much she loved me.
HELLO!! Sorry, I haven't been around on the boards much. Listen to Ian about not thinking of filing vs not until June 3rd. It's kind of far away anyway...More than 10 days away.
Continue to focus on yourself and let it go for now.
rainbowlove -------------------- All is here and so much more is coming!
good to hear from you. i know i have to just live the next couple of weeks and then decide.
her tone has really changed, her anger seems way down and she actually ask how i am doing. my last phone call she thanked me two or three times for calling and she seemed happy for the first time in a while. what this means for me is i have no idea. our last meeting which is over a month ago now she was still defensive and when i said she should move home (i know backslide) she said" you need a trophy wife, and that you made me look bad in front of my friends". i just wish she would know how frustrated i was and that i just has so much bottled up anger that i would unleash when we were drinking. her behavior after her dad died had me so frustrated and before that there was only one instance where i gave her shi$t for her drinking in front of friends before the wedding.
i want to email her and defend myself so bad when it comes to this.
Bit you know you have some small positives here in her attitude. Maybe she's worried about that date as well and now is considering all options. So why make that date any different than any other day. Where is it written in stone that you have to do anything on that date? Maybe you have an opportunity here and that day is an opportunity for you.
If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive. - Mother Theresa
thanks for the advice. that isnt the actual day i will file but that day and how it goes will guage what i do in the coming weeks. if she can ignore that day then i have a pretty good idea where she is and what is worth fighting for.
kind of wondering why my wife emails sun. asking me for insurance info. i get it back to her on monday and i am a little surprised she hasn't emailed me back thanking me. she also didn't acknowledge the fact that the anniversary of my dads death was sunday. wouldn't a normal friend just email back saying thanks.
i have also come to the conclusion that i have to ween myself off of this site for a while. i am not getting any better or healthier b/c i am obsessing over this whole ordeal, whether it be my sitch or someone elses. i need to get away from all this. i need to distance myself from divorce in general and spend a month just focusin on other things. i could see if i actually had something to report but there is nothing.
this site is great but you have to use it the right way. i think there are alot more success stories then what we hear about i just think that by the time there is success those people are so detached that they are no longer here.
i am not in a good place right now, my wife after 6 months is still far to heavy on my mind. b/c morning noon and night she is my focus.
so if you see less of me be happy for me because i am mentally going somewhere else for a while.
That's not a bad idea dude. But, don't eliminate support systems, no matter how small.
Stop obsessing about her (I know, I'm the same way) and you'll feel liberated. I'm worried about my first meeting with my W, but I'm not obsessing about her on a daily basis. I'm more worried about my actions so I don't screw up the changes I've made over the last 2 months.
Don't get defensive with her, say, "You're right, I was a jerk." And show her you mean it. DON'T do it again!
Anyway Bit, I appreciate the input you've had on my threads, so don't be too much of a stranger! Thanks!!!
We can talk ourselves into defeat or we can talk ourselves into victory - we are creatures of our thinking.
3/31/07 - Hit with a brick, leaving the dent there...
Distancing from here is not always bad Bit. I was on here ALL day from like Nov.-Jan/Feb. Now I hop on to check in on my favs and to give updates on my sitch from time to time.
JR is right too though, don't forget this BB is here for you as support. Bouncing ideas off of others & getting inspiration from the successes are best done here because...we understand better than friends and family who are a little biased
