Hi, H got another job, he is back at the first company that fired him but instead of being in upper management, he is selling cars...
OK he has told me none of this yet...came from a friend.
Supposedly he begged that he needed a job and they told him he would never be in management again so he is going to be selling cars...H has never done that in his life!
He will now be back at the same company with OW again!! She was one of the reasons he got fired...
So tell me how to react when he tells me about the job?? This is going to mean a change in when he sees the kids and a HUGE change in pay....just in time to go to court to establish child support!!
Overall, I am hurt because he is bringing my life down with his!! I do not want this to come across when we talk...
H is involved in so many ^$& activities he doesn't have time to see the kids as it is!! Baseball with SS's and hockey and golf come WAY before the girls....
Now his hours will change to nights until 9...and all his other crap and not much $$ for me to pay the bills....
So tell me how to react when he tells me about the job?? This is going to mean a change in when he sees the kids and a HUGE change in pay....just in time to go to court to establish child support!!
Overall, I am hurt because he is bringing my life down with his!! I do not want this to come across when we talk...
H is involved in so many ^$& activities he doesn't have time to see the kids as it is!! Baseball with SS's and hockey and golf come WAY before the girls....
Please look at the quote in Red.....Do you see anything in those word you just wrote. As a male, I am a very active role in my kids life and do not understand when anyone who gets divorced takes anything but their kids well being as their number one priority.
But if you look at what is highlighted in RED...what do you see....Read that line over to yourself for about 100 times.....it will come to you....
You are the only person who can make yourself a victim.....How are his actions bringing your life down.....His actions are ruining his life not yours.... REALIZE THAT FIRST AND FOREMOST..... You cannot let his actions bring your life down...if you think about it does it even make any sense.....
My ex was a mess when when we got Divorced I was there for the kids..... kind of felt the same way, until I realized who are they always going to depend on in life, who will they never trust.... I could have went for full custody, but I didn't kids need the other parent, but it is not your responsibility to make them take and active part of their life....
WE REAP WHAT WE SOW.....It will come back and haunt him....trust me on that...
I get it and agree with it...I really do!! I need to seperate the feelings that he hurts me when he doesn't take pride in his children... It hurts that financially he does not care if every cent I have is going to pay bills...when this is over I will be broke...no savings living paycheck to paycheck!
He can not be relied upon to help with the kids...Understand I have tried...invite him to everything and tell him about stuff with the girls...when they get older they will form their own opinions but I just feel like kids need a full time dad and he needs to act like one.
I know I can't make him...H wants to D me because of MLC/OW...literally walked out with no explanation...blindsided me!!
Can't stop him but why does he have to D the kids too???
do you have an attorney that will be helping you with the child support order? Have the atty to ask the judge to consider the fact that husband refuses to look for employment that is equal to his earning potential simply for the child support
list his previous job history & what his pay scale was for those jobs to help you in that presentation & also show what the job market is currently for a man with his work history, education etc Should be making & the clincher will be to clip all of the help wanted ads from the sunday that he should be applying for rather than simply trying to work where he got fired from the job for screwing around with his co-worker the reality is that he's most likely going to get fired again from that company since she's still there & lovers working together usually doesn't last since the OW is made more aware of all contact & time that he's spending with the Real Covenant family makes the OW even more upset & insecure & creates problems for the job
This may work for you - I didn't have an atty & it worked for me in the CT courts back when I was a single parent my NavySon's bio-father intentionally worked under the table for the majority of his pay & was on the books for only min wage (back then min wage in CT was $3ish so that he'd not have to pay child support but when i brought up to the judge's attention that Butch had made that choice in order to not pay child support the judge looked at Butch's education & previous job experience with the earnings that went along with those jobs & the judge told Butch that since Butch had a higher earning potential & I had brought in the help wanted pages showing that in his feild there were jobs that paid much more available at that moment that Butch had to pay more than the state minimum & that the order could not be decreased in the future
{{{HUGS}}} I know that this is a very hard time for you been there in the past so I can fully relate hope that my experience will give you some option & will pray that the judge will be a reasonable man or woman who'll see what your husband is trying to do & will make the order accordingly
Thank you!! I really would never have thought H would do all this...not sure if it is on purpose or not but he will definitely not be making what he has over the past 3 years!!
I do have a good job but until all this is worked out my salary is not covering everything! I am hoping that in the future things will be better... wish H would drop the whole D anyway!! Still not really sure why it is happening...all lies~!
As far as the Covenant family...H spends no time with us at all!
I hardly know where to start. He's totally gone off the deep end. But don't they all. Yes, the tricky part is not letting them drag you down with them.
Harsh but true, protect yourself. Get in touch with atty, stay one step ahead of him if you can.
Yes, thats some nerve. But then again, my husband actually spoke to Liss and said HIS GIRLFRIEND has nothing to do with our problems.
It's mostly lies they tell....so never assume or put anything past him. Do what you need to do, and dont hesitate too much.
I wish I had more to offer you....but know I am here to help in anyway I can.
Jeanette
Change the Policy. Allow PM's Free all of us.
Also some new and improved emoticons would be nice!
It really is bad...I can't read him at all and I hate seeing him b/c he looks like the man I married and I know that is only a shell...It still hurts to look at him and know he is with OW and ignoring his kids! My atty is on top of all the happenings...right now our court date is 6/1 and if all is settled that will be the only one!! I wish he would see that he is putting himself b/f his kids... I Know, I know...MLC...its all about me!!
Hey mo2g...i dont have kids but am experiencing much the same behaviors with a nasty spewing H.....except the dummy just did get a new job equal to his old income...should bode well for me...i have proof of ridiculous spending on OW....follow my thread...the man has gone bonkers.....sad but true i now have to seperate myself from him.....hurts.....he looks like the man i married but after seeing face to face that angry spew i realize as of now there arent any feelings left for me...he is not gonna look after me. In the beginning it was all about he wanted me to be happy and move on...and he would make sure i was well taken care of......well let me tell you...that has all gone out the window.
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
