Sorry for not responding sooner OneWish but will post on your thread. Life has been crazy. I forgot how bad moving stinks!
As a quick update. XW and I have exchanged a few emails. I don't think she realizes that she is possibly losing her job, but she said in her last email that she "needs out" and is applying for other jobs that pay more cause "she needs the money". I guess life is not as grand as she thought it would be.
Anyway, all in all I am doing well. I realized today at church that I am just sort of emotionally stuck. While I would like to move on, I realized how much of a committment I actually made internally when I got married and....as far as it may seem.....I am still committed to trying to work things out with her. Gosh, that just seems sad but refreshing at the same time. You don't hear people committed to their marriages anymore (except on this board).
Hope all are doing well!
CIAZ M 7/97 S 5/05 D 8/06 Both 33 years old No kids
Anyway, all in all I am doing well. I realized today at church that I am just sort of emotionally stuck. While I would like to move on, I realized how much of a committment I actually made internally when I got married and....as far as it may seem.....I am still committed to trying to work things out with her. Gosh, that just seems sad but refreshing at the same time. You don't hear people committed to their marriages anymore (except on this board).
Hope all are doing well!
CIAZ,
I understand where you were.... I felt the same way about my exW.... I just came to the point where I realize the "Christian" woman I thought I was married to was NOT who she really was... Sad... But, VERY true....
I notice that as well... So many people and celebrities have bailed on their Ms..... It is sickening to see how many people are so self centered....
No_More_Dodo
"Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. That is what makes a marriage last --more than passion or even sex!" - Simone Signoret
Where have been? I was hoping to get an update when I came here. Let us know how you are doing. I just read the last thing you wrote about how committed you were to your marriage. I have been separated for almost 3 years, bomb dropped over 4 years ago, OW in the picture for almost 2 years and divorced for almost a year. I am still just as committed to stand for my marriage as I was when this started over 4 years ago, actually more so. I have not even taken off my wedding rings. So you are not alone there.
Let us know what is going on.
Everything happens for a reason, maybe Dad needs to find that it isn't better out there, he needs to realize how good he had it here. Maybe he will find God and that is the most important thing when he finds Him he will know he is supposed to come home.
I am here! Lurking....but still following everyone's thread and those who are new here.
Don't really have much to say. Since my last post, my XW and I have only conversed a couple of times. I called at Easter to say hello and chatted for about an hour. She went on and on regarding work but that was about it.
Celebrated what would have been our 11th anniversary with friends and ran into a friend of her's who I think guided her to the D. Single female who hates men and hasn't been in a R in at least 15 years. That is a good person to get advice from. I am sure that got back to the XW.
Haven't heard from her until late last week. Macy's called for her so I sent an email relaying the message. She responded saying thanks and if I could change some information for myself with our alma mater. Apparently they are contacting her for me. First time I had heard this. I responded that I would and asked on a whim how she was doing....testing waters....maybe hoping to start a meaningful conversation. Response was "All in all, things are fine". I didn't reply cause I really don't know what to say? Who says that?! Still don't know if she is asking for help or wants me to ask about it?
Anyway. It will be two years next month that I have been D. While I have dated several women, none measure up to her. I still think about her everyday. Hard not to but each day I think a little bit less. Know that I need to move on, but just not sure that I can totally give up. Not sure if I ever will feel that way. I did take off my ring after the D was final. Didn't think it was right to be wearing it anymore and don't need a ring to know how I feel about her. Actually funny thing, I have been "feeling" that I have had it on again recently. Not sure why!
A friend of mine who knows her says that she is unhappy and depressed. Funny how they think that life is going to be so much grander after they get rid of us.
Overall, I am doing well. Work is busy, life is busy and health is good. Lots of things to be thankful for!
Hopefully life will calm a bit and I can find some time to post on other threads. Not sure if I can offer much advice but sometimes just hearing from others is a big help!
Thanks ANM!
CIAZ M 7/97 S 5/05 D 8/06 Both 33 years old No kids
Has your wife dated anyone that you know of? Is there anyway that you could approach her with the premise that you had an extra ticket to any event and did not want to see it go to waste? After two years, what have you got to lose. Time goes way to fast, and while i know the pain can still run strong, you do need to get out and meet people if she is not willing. It will always be hard to find someone who measures up to her if you are only seeing a person or so a year. Best wishes
She has not been seeing anyone that I know of. And great idea regarding the ticket. Will try that one in the future when I have the opportunity.
Lucent, don't get me wrong...I have been out there. I have dated several folks, including one person for almost a year. The one thing that I am thankful from the D is that I know what I want in another person. No drama, no major issues. Don't need it. The trouble is trying to find that in a person that shares similar interests.
And don't get me started on training them! HAHA!
CIAZ M 7/97 S 5/05 D 8/06 Both 33 years old No kids
It is hard getting past the past. Guess that is what real love is about. I feel the same way. Six months divorced and I have no desire to date. Still part of the walking wounded.
Glad to see you were and are dating. It is tough, and I am in the midst of making some life altering decisions myself. I truly wish you the best, and who knows, maybe she will take you up on your offer. Keep up posted.
