Hi everyone. I have been trying to decide where to post tonight. Should I tell my story on Frosty's thread where my two mentors Naej and CC both posted today? Or on Barb's thread where people are talking about their plans for tonight? I do hope CC sees this and checks in with a little more about how she's doing.
Here's my latest story. At Christmas last year the man I had been seeing proposed and I accepted and thought we'd get married this year.
He has health problems and was living away for work. We saw each other on weekends, and mostly I traveled to him for a number of reasons.
In December he came here twice and brought back 90% of his clothes and they are hanging in the bedroom closet. He put up a Christmas display that was wonderful and elaborate for us.
He is now missing in action. The week before Christmas he sent an email saying he needed to take care of himself and had to take a journey on his own and he wouold be back and loved me always.
Now this was not a complete surprise, I knew something was up, but it happened. He is gone and do not know when he will be back if ever.
So tonight I am home cooking. Tomorrow I have a fun event to go to. On a scale of 1 to 10 the pain was about 3 (ten is high). I learned how to detach and that is an amazing skill.
I don't know if he will ever come back here or if he's gone for good. But I am inclined to believe that he will return.
In the meantime I am getting on with my life. My cooking projects tonight are Boston Cream cupcakes and a vegetable torte to bring to the party tomorrow.
I am not lonely, this was never a big holiday for me, but I do wonder why a man who says he loves me would leave me this way. I'm at peace though, if he knocked on the door right now I'd let him in. Is there something wrong with me??? Wonder
Wonder, There is nothing wrong with you at all. You mentioned that he had health problems. Could it be that he needs to have something done in regards to his health and he doesn't want to worry you? Could it be that he has some unfinished business in another area of his life that he needs to complete before moving here w/you and committing to you completely? These are the questions the none of us can answer right now, but he will when he returns.
Wonder, I've been following your postings for quite a while and feel just as you do--he will return. I feel that there is unfinished business from long ago that he needs to complete and he will do it and be back as soon as he can. Keep that light burning in the window for him!
You've given some wonderful advice to others on the MLC forum and I wanted to take this opportunity to thank you for still posting. Your journey was a long and painful one, but you've crossed the finish line, so to speak, and are a survivor.
Happy New Year, Wonder! May the new year bring you much happiness and peace.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thank you Snodderly, that post meant a lot to me. I too think he will be back but the disappearing act is troublesome to say the least. It would be better if I at least had a timeframe but I don't. I have chosen to accept that so that's why I wonder if there's something wrong with me.
Actually I agree though, nothing is wrong with me. I chose a man who could leave me and he has done so. I'll let you know if he returns.
Also thank you for your appreciation for my posts on the MLC forum. My heart goes into those and I want others in a bad state to know they can do it too. All is well here this evening. Cheers. Wonder
Dear Wonder, well I haven,t a clue on this one-hmmm you know this man. Maybe because of your own suffering and fight for survival you attract those who need help and in some way are in their own "hell". Whatever you sound good and coping with this mystery. It must have taken some courage to let another man in your life and shows how far you have come on your journey. Not that I would wish our trials on anybody but I do think nothing life throws at us will ever bring us to that point of utter despair and black hole again. May `2007 bring you joy and deep contentment. Take care
