H finally hit bottom.....the drinking, the depression, everything....
Let me explain....we had been pretty much together for the past 9 months after being apart for 18 months....he still couldn't say he loved me....had some major trust issues even though I am the one who maintained my vows and place with the kids while he went and jumped off of the train of life...
He had a few episodes of drinking too much....one of which pretty much resulted in our getting back together....he also did this in front of our kids which really didn't go over good and because he had no recall of how ugly he talked to me in front of them he appologized and said he wasn't going to drink anymore...
Four months go by and things are seemingly good....then he has a 1/2 of a beer....because of medications and health issues I can tell....he doesn't lie at least....but I am not comfortable with his breaking his promise to the kids and I....so he said "I won't drink unless you allow it."....
A week goes by....I find him in a rather odd state....can't tell for sure if he had been drinking or if he was having a diabetic problem....but something was very wrong....he was claiming he was fine and hadn't drank anything.....he got angry and said he was leaving....I wrestled his keys away and ran to my apartment, locking the door....he came up wanting in....I wasn't going to allow that so I had my daughter keep him talking while I called 9-1-1....
When they arrived he was hiding in front of his car....they came and talked to him and he admitted he had quite a bit of vodka (2/5th's) to drink....so they decided because of his medical conditions to take him to the hospital....
I follow in my car....he won't see me initially at the hospital but tells the nurse to tell me he is sorry and he loves me....
Later he wants to see me....they took all kinds of blood tests...his BAC was .25%....3 times the legal driving limit (good thing I grabbed his keys)
Time goes by in the ER and a doctor confronts him about his drinking....says he needs to enter treatment....he agrees....then while we are waiting for information on what to do he starts getting mean and ugly with me....so I left the room....he told me to go home but I stayed....the ER doctor talked to me, said they couldn't get him into a program that night but he could go tomorrow....if he would still go....if not I needed to make a decision that was best for my family....
Well....by the time it was time for him to come home he allowed me to drive him home....the sedated him (yes, on top of the alcohol)....he slept on the couch
The next morning, he was sorry....agreed to go to the rehab unit....so we went...things went well and they got him set up with a counselor and another visit with a Psychiatrist for the following week....
The day to see his Psychiatrist came...it went really well....he was very positive about everything....but said he would be facing some demons from his past (early childhood that I knew would play into all of this)....well it happened later that day....he called me and I could tell he had been drinking....he said he was having to say good bye to a very good friend that he would never be able to see again....I was very worried...but the next morning he came home....siad he was totally resolved to become sober and stay that way (he was a binge drinker, not a daily drinker....sometimes months inbetween)....
Right now things seem good...for the first time he is actually going to professionally address his childhood issues, his alcohol abuse, and how it has affected our marriage....
I gave him one final ultimatum....if he slips up and drinks that he must agree to Antibuse....which means he has to give up pickles, hot sauce, vinegars, salad dressings, certain fruit juices.....even mouthwash!....because in some people these can result in the violent vomiting that would come from alcohol consumption....of course anything cooked with alcohol is also out of the diet....
So life is one edge....his Psych said for the next 90 days it will be very rough....he will have periods of crying and sadness to work through...this will be hard for me too....but I hope in the end that he will emerge as the man that he was always meant to be (even though he had a great 25 year run)....
hey toots! glad to hear from you. You've been through so much...again. But I'm very happy to hear he is getting medical help, I pray that these next 90 days pass reeeeal fast for you, and that in the end you see a glimpse of the man you married. Hugs imLIN)))))))))))
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
Wow, I am sending prayers your way! You must be a very strong person. Hopefully the professional help will be a big turning point in his life. It sounds positive.
Take care
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
Things are good....I am going to Al-Anon and he is going to recovery and a psychiatrist to deal with his childhood abuses and alcoholism.... So far so good... I will try and write soon....with work and family I have been very busy....I do think of you all here often and appreciate that you keep interest in how I am... So how are you? Take care
Hi ImLIN, I am please that things with you are good. I hope the psychiatrist will help your H with his issues.
I am doing quite alright at the moment. I will go on holiday soon and I am really looking forward to it.
I often wonder how LBS with a family have time to write on the BB so often and even help and post on other threads. I have nobody to look after and seem to spend a lot of time on the BB, but then I have hardly any time to do something else. But of course, I choose to spend my time doing what I enjoy, and the rest of the chores I keep postponing. Take care.
