Please help me!!! As you all know, my wife recently posted on this board and offered to help some of you with your own sitch's. As you know, my "friend" Striver asked for her advice on his own sitch and offered his e-mail address.
Well, my wife and Striver have been talking and corresponding for a few weeks now. I was informed last night that my wife is traveling to see him in the UK and will be gone for ten days. They both tell me that what they have is more than friendship and that it just happened, didn't mean for it to happen, etc.
Folks, I am terrified....this is the mother of my children and someone I care deeply about yet she is traveling half way around the world to stay with someone SHE DOES NOT KNOW. This goes so against every rule of thumb about meeting people on the internet - and in this case where they met on a board where people are clearly vulnerable...well, it just scares the hell out of me - both for her own sake and for that of my children.
Have you tried to talk to Striver?
I am so sorry this is why I posted in MLC about exchanging numbers and emails with members of the opposite sex on this board.
It is dangerous.
Your wife is looking for that feel good feeling and she "thinks" she has found it.
Striver needs to get his head out of his arse and stop messing around with your wife.
This is so so wrong.
Hang in there.
I am praying!!!
Found his email address striveruk@aol.com maybe a few others should also email him.
Last edited by brandnewday; 08/29/0609:36 PM.
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
Cherishher, First of all, I'm so sorry. That's a horrible thing to become aware of.
I don't see that there's much you can do. This is another one of those things you can't control. You cannot control your wife... she is an adult. You can control your own feelings. This is going to be a HUGE test of those jealousy issues. If you can get through this without going crazy jealous, it'll be a huge step.
First of all, I would try to find out if this is really true. I'm assuming there is a chance this may not be true? Or is it 100% certain?
Secondly, try to contact her by e-mail or whatever. Ther emust be someone who will hear from her soon. I really don't think she's going to listen to you if you just tell her what she's doing is wrong or hurtful to her family. It's what she feels - you can't change that. You can try to expose the dangers of getting involved with someone from these boards and tell her about the cases that have already occured (Look up BrandNewDay's post), as a friend. But there is little else you can do. She may be just visiting a friend.
I think you'll just have to wait it out. It's a vacation... she'll come back.
May it be eternal while it lasts.
My sitch
Me: 36
H:34
M: 5 years
Bomb: 03/14/06
OMG. I don't know what to say. What a scumbag, that Striver. If that's all it takes for your W to pick up another guy, I say good riddance. I don't know what else to say. If there is ANYTHING I can say or do, please let me know. Take care of yourself and your children, and call your lawyer.
I am disgusted with this situation. This board is supposed to be a place of healing and your W and Striver have used it to suit their own selfish needs. Just a few short weeks ago, Striver was fighting for his marriage. He was "so in love" with his W, was tormented by the separation. It seems like he moved on quite quickly, doesn't it?
Your W used this board to keep tabs on your emotions, not because she ultimately cared about what you were going through. She even admitted she toyed with you after reading something you wrote. And then she purposefully starts up private communication with a man in almost the exact same situation as you're in...a man who was your friend, a support to you when things were tough, a man who was DBing along with the rest of us. And now he's comfortable being the OM?!
C, you are my friend and I think that what is happening is absolutely outrageous. I have a lot of things I'd like to say to both Striver and your W, but most of it is not very pleasant. I hope they reap what they sow.
That's a stab in the back. I think the whole thing is pretty disgusting. Unfortunately, like others have pointed out, she's an adult so you don't have a lot of control over this. All you can do is let her go. Although, more than likely, she'll get there and learn that Striver has some really bad B.O., horrible halitosis or some other gross problem. You have to figure there must be some reason he's stooping so low as to lure someone else's wife who lives thousands of miles and an ocean away. Obviously he's a loser who can't find anyone locally who's interested in him.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
Cherrish, So sorry for the bad deal that you are going through. I mean this is total sheet through and through. I wish that there was something I could say that could help you. I wish that there was something that you could do to defuse this but I can't think of any thing. It is your W's choice and even if there was something you could do it all comes back to that.
"Our life is what our thoughts make it."
Marcus Aurelius
