Quote: i'm thinking it's time for my relationship with both my daughter & my husband to change i guess it's time for me to have my own mlc & run away from both of them
I can so relate even though my D16 is only 16. He dad dangles money in front of her to have do what he wants, stay with him, go on vacation with him, see him and (just to keep her from me). She takes the bait and I get angry at her for it. She'll say I can't really stand my dad, but..... She's in Florida with him and OW right now. They're both addicts using drugs. I have no control over them. I'm seeking legal advise, can't take his bull anymore. I'm ready to file. Sometimes I think I need to just let her live with him and start MY OWN NEW LIFE!!!! I'm so tired of the games and I don't want to be manipulated and abused any more!!!!
hurting again
http://www.divorcebusting.com/ubbthreads/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=UBB2&Number=1137408&fpart=1&PHPSESSID=
O honey i feel for you I wish that I could offer more than cyber hugs if you use instant messengers i use yahoo the most & msn msgr 2ns add me to yur buddylist & we can chat or u can give me a call
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Quote: i'm thinking it's time for my relationship with both my daughter & my husband to change i guess it's time for me to have my own mlc & run away from both of them
I can so relate even though my D16 is only 16. He dad dangles money in front of her to have do what he wants, stay with him, go on vacation with him, see him and (just to keep her from me). You know the game that he's playing & in fact your daughter at age 16 also knows the game having had 2 teens i can tell you that she's also playing games with OW & H You have to be able to reign in your anger & hurt so you can just watch
She takes the bait and I get angry at her for it. You need to try to release the anger especially at her she's doing what in her mind is best to help her be with her dad at the same time she's getting him for what she can get him for
She'll say I can't really stand my dad, but..... She's in Florida with him and OW right now. Thats what I'm talking about as far as your daughter is playing the game she knows that right now her father is trying to win her affections so she's taking full advatnage of the sitch to her advantage the hard part right now will be for you to resist the temptation to do what many parents do & try to outdo her father in the gift dept it's no fun being the parent who's got rules etc but in the long run she'll respect you more for being the strong parent
They're both addicts using drugs. I have no control over them.
This is good that you recognise this you need to be strong enough to allow them to hit rock bottom until they do God & you can do nothing to assist them in their journey home
I'm seeking legal advise, can't take his bull anymore. I'm ready to file. Seek protection of your assets but wait on filing for divorce - God hates divorce, LimboLand sucks but Divorce is worse
consider yourself to be a female version of Hosea or Job at this point Ask God for strength to get thru this & HE will assist You
Sometimes I think I need to just let her live with him and start MY OWN NEW LIFE!!!! unfortunately at the age which your daughter is you're going to have to be strong for all 3 of you
Tough Love is in order for you & it's a difficult thing to watch while they crash & burn but at this point all you can do is allow them to hit bottom
Getting your own life is definately in order for you
the 2 of them are out them doing the wild teen rebellion thing since yur husband isn't being a parent or adult in this sitch you need to be the proper example & be ready to help your daughter grow to be an adult she'll get tired of his behavior in time
what you need to do is work on making a life for yourself empty nest style she does only have less than 2 yrs to be a legal adult anyway
she's watching what you are doing right now your life doesn't look to be so fun when compared to OW & daddy
but she'll see 1st hand how in the long run your lifestyle produces more while daddy & OW will end up in troubles as fun is only for a season & the 2 of them will run into $$ troubles soon enuf as they reap what they sow
I'm so tired of the games and I don't want to be manipulated and abused any more!!!! go rent the movie "She Devil" for a good laugh the most meaningful line in the movie isn't by roseanne barr but the OW's line "I'm taking MY Life Back!" time for you to start setting some boundaries as unpleasant as they are for both daughter & husband you can only be abused for as long as you'll allow for them to abuse you
they will resist & they will test your boundaries but in the end they will respect you for them
do you have the books & study guides by stormie omartian the power of a praying parent & power of a praying wife? I suggest that you get the 4 of these & do 1 chapter in each study guide per week
i'm in a great mood got to chat with Prodigal Son for a hot minute on yahoo msgr
byron's been an a$$ all week long i had to call & speak to his step dad for byron to bring me some cash byron dropped off the rent check on thrusday nite last week & quickly left
when he didn't show up friday morning with cash & cigs i knew that byron wasn't planning to give me any cash or cigs i spoke to him for a few minutes at work & his excuse for not showing up (normally paydays he drops off carton of cigs & cash on his way into work) byron claimed that he'd woken up late & wasn't able to stop by on his way in
when he didn't show up friday nite i had daughter stop by his mom's before coming over here sure enough at 10:30p byron's car wasn't there so he was out drinking with the moochers
since i'd been feeling lead to go over to mary & jim's to make sure i got the cash i simply put in a quick call & mary picked up i told her quickly the fact that byron hadn't given me any money & she offered to have him call me when he got home
i told her he wasn't at work & that it's not fair that byron gets to go out drinking & i've got to deal with the drunken son of the landlord
saturday morning last week i left a meesage on the voicemail basically an extension of the message of what i'd already told mary friday nite
i called comcast around 10:45am when byron should've been at work the guy who i spoke with was expecting byron to come in "byron's not gotten in YET" later around 6p I called an hr befor ebyron would normally be leaving work & Chandra said "Byron didn't come into work today" ok so from those 2 coversations i knew byron had called out
sunday afternoon i called the house & jim picked up & he called up to byron & gave him the phone
I apologized to jim for even calling the house but byron didn't go into work sat nor did he bring me any money & i have no gas no money for cigs or even for food
jim's tone of voice to byron i don't think he was happy about the reason for my call in fact i suspect that jim spoke to byron afterwards or possibly prior since i had left the message sat morning
byron was an a$$ as soon as he got on the phone trying to act like all was ok like he was confused as to why i was calling him althou slightly angry in tone as well
i told byron that i didn't appreciate that i had to call the house for him i wanted to know a time that he was going to be coming over byron admitted he wasn't doing anything but laying in bed watching tv
but Mr Wants to Control My Life refused to answer the question as to time
byron chit chatted with g-son for a few minutes when g-son handed me the phone back i asked byron about his being out from work he got very pissed off - i said i was just asking 'cause i was wondering if u were sick
speaking of which what did doc say monday is everything ok? at that point he was angry & said he's hanging up now
so i said ok i was just wondering if everything was ok "yes" very angrily the lung tests came back ok? "yes everything is fine" still angry ok what time will you be bringing the cigs & money by? "i don't know" well i was just wondering if you could make it sooner than later since it's a nice day g-son & i could get to go out to the park or something we didn't get to go to the hot air balloon show yesterday 'cause i didn't have any gas
when byron finally came with the cigs & cash he came in & out in less than 5 minutes the only reason he came inside was due to g-son i think i did ask him about moving the rug's position so i could vacuum it & that set byron off on a mini temper tantrum huffing out the door aahh the ugly side of mlc raising it's head
well byron went out monday nite after he left my house so i was kinda surprised to get the pissy attitude from him tuesday then he almost bit my head off wednesday nite when i asked about the laundry
what ever is bugging his butt - well i'm not trying to add to it since byron's got to deal with his own guilt issues & drinking (hangovers?) so i just kept the convo's short & to the point
i've sent an email after daughter caught him out on the 26th of may that my anger over his blowing me off was way over & in the past
his slight anger issues before payday i had emailed to him that i don't know what he's angry about but i know it's nothing i did so i didn't appreciate that he was taking his anger out on me
i've started simply praying about the whole sitch in a new way
been dark as far calling or emailing byron only sent an email asking if he's coming to g-son's "Graduation Ceremony" only 'cause they're trying to do a head count
daughter & i have had some head banging going on between us she's still fighting the boundaries which I've been putting in place but slowly she's getting the message
in the meantime she's starting to learn how to do things for herself she's trying to buy a car to replace the one she's driving now
1st lesson that it's way cheaper as a new driver with a clean driving record than to add her car onto our insurance with byron's dwi ticket & license suspension
now for me made a few decisions about how i'm going to spend this summer 1st if possible i'm going to some road trips to see a few online friends & family now the wagon's fixed time for me to get out & about
2nd i'm considering lasik surgery since the insurance covers a portion the one doc i've spoken to so far is very pleased with my eyes for surgery his office offers finacing so i'm debating
anyone had Lasik surgery? if so please give me some info how it went etc
3rd 6 Flags here we come! g-son & I will be going there a couple of times this summer
4th Late Friday Nites or early Saturday Mornings are PPV Movie Nite for g-son & me
5th I'm going to get more christian fiction to enjoy reading just finished the 1st 3 books by Joel Rosenberg which I wish they'd make into movies he's a great writer & his next book the Copper Scrolls comes out in august The Last Jihad, The Last Days & the Ezkiel Option have been so exciting & seemingly so true to life i'm really looking forward to his next one
well it's 3:15am so let me get to bed & finsih watching HoodWinked aahhh life is always interesting in LimboLand not always fun but definately interesting if not down right Soap Opera-ish
setting boundaries with a 23 yr old girl is difficult since i am trying to help her go to school but even the 3rd flr guy was talking about how nasty daughter's attitude is when she's here & she was rude to him for no reason
tonite she & i exchanged keys - she no longer can just walk into my house since in her anger she decided to ask for her house keys back due to me telling her there's no reason for her house to be such a pig stye when g-son lives with me & it's suppose to be just her in the house at nites - uuuhhh nope the almost empty bottle of captain morgan says she's having much fun while i've been stuck with g-son
well from tonite forward she'll have to drop him off before she goes to work or school & come pick him up after she gets out of work or school - just like she would for any other babysitter - she can get up at 6am & get him dressed & over here before the bus gets here at 645 since she doesn't appreciate the fact that i've been doing that every morning since this whole babysitting thing started for her to go to school -
it's summertime i'm not going to be stuck watching her child while she gets to party - she is not my husband that i have to walk on eggshels so that i don't disturb his poor ego while he's wallowing in self pity & mlc - no longer am i wasting time or energy with her bs - new tactic has been to simply state my position & to turn my back while i tend to my emails or i simply say what i'm going to say & then go back to watching tv ignoring her & what she wants to fuss about - hard to bite my tongue with her but it is slowly working & she knows that she really crossed the line tonite when she decided to up the ante about the keys - it shocked her that i asked for mine since i've not ever done so in the past, but she's the one who's got to start thinking about exactly what it is that she's going to be doing from here on out
now for the crazy mlcer - no site of byron since he came over with an attitude to do the laundry saturday nite i guess it was his guilt that made him fuss at me when i answered his question & he was in a rush to get to the sports bar to watch the fights with the moochers so he just dumpped everything into the living room - typical mlc crap for him fun firstresponsilbility to be avoided at all costs possible
well i'm off to bed it's now 1230am & this headache isn't subsiding time to say prayers so that I can give these 2 to God to work on their convictions of hearts
i sent over a reminder email about his mismatch socks & the ones with holes in them since i've got a pillow to stuff & i use the socks to help fill the pillows & save on the cost of stuffing & keep the socks out of the landfills (the only way i recylce is to reuse something in a new way otherwise it goes into the trash)
I'm recovering pretty well from my lasik surgery & now i'm trying to adjust to having a world opposite of what I've known for 43 yrs
I can see far now & can't read anything thats not bold & big! but i love being able to see 20/25! I stopped at the dollarstore & grabbed some reading glasses so tomorrow i'll be able to read the form questions that i need to read i've got a 2 hr job that will pay me a few dollars to stand & ask customers about their shopping experience at Lowes
I truely loved waking up & being able to see the clock & my son's picture on the wall but i did sorta freak out when i couldn't read my bible very weird i could read the words across the room on the cover but when i went to open it up - all a blur my vision was very bad folks i use to not be able to see a person's face across the table without my glasses now i can't read the puter screen with out the reading glasses
since i can pick up reading glasses at the dollar store & can do without them to drive I'm happy
well i'm off to the store to drop off an Rx for Byron to fill for me shocker for him will be that i've gotten it done i didn't tell him about it & since i'm only wearing goggles in the house & at nite to protect my eyes if he stays the nite i'll have to tell him otherwise he'll only see me in my reading glasses no need for him to know about it at the moment
ok give me another week & i'm heading out to the amusement park... o it'll be so much fun to be able to see whats going on when i'm on a ride i've always had to remove my glasses so they don't fall off during a ride
i've got to check with the doc as to how soon i can get into the pool! whheeee this is going to be a fun summer!
neglect here isn't all bad just been busy adjusting to my new "view" on life total reverse of how i was seeing before gotten a few prs of dollarstore reading glasses so i can read books & emails
i'm comfortable in LimboLand but this summer I am looking for smethings to keep me busy outside the house
Daughter & byron both are doing their rebellion thing I'm doing great at just simply ignoring the temper tantrums & lies
I'm a bit upset right now that I just found out that Byron was suppose to get eye surgery today but back in may & june when I asked him about his eye doc visits he was like all is ok
i called over & spoke to mary when i called the job & chandra said he'd not gone into work today mary was the one who told me he was suppose to get the surgery to remove some sarcoid scar tissue from one of his eyes I'm assuming one eye otherwise I don't think they'd give the ok for him to drive himself home he may have gotten someone to go with him up there but mary didn't mention it all she said was that they'd gone up but couldn't find the section of the hospital he was suppose to be at
makes me think that she took it upon herself to go & byron didn't know that she & jim were going up otherwise they'd have taken one car together
byron didn't get the surgery done for some reason mary says that the machine was broken that for some reason just doesn't sound right to me if it was broken he'd not have had to go up there the doc's office would have called him & rescheduled so i'm wondering if he was told no he can't have it done if he didn't have someone to drive him home
i do know that his regular eye doc who had byron for many years until he said byron couldn't come back til he paid his bill & paid in advance for his appointments since byron kept missing them in 04 & 05 anyway doc h always made sure that i was going to be with byron to drive him home afterwards I do hope that was the case for byron today
anyway miss mary is still in huge denial about what byron's up to yeah right he's home all the time now yeah right he's not drinking how quickly & selective her memory is when it comes to him
o well byron won't be happy until he's blind or seriously sick in the hospital i guess the sarcoidosis is activated for him by his drinking this isn't the case for all people with sarcoid but true for some for byron the factor which changed for his sarcoid being in remission & when it is active is the drinking
on the positive things going on for me i'm starting a fun job as a secret shopper doesn't really pay much but it does get me out of the house & actting like I'm shopping for some big ticket items that.... maybe one of these days I'll get to have in my house on the hill with the white picket fence ok i can dream can't i?
Quote: MMH,
That's great news about the lasik. I'm glad you're recovering well. Have a great 4th. My 4th was fun I hope that you enjoyed your weekend too I'm doing well in my recovery really enjoying having fun shopping for cute SunGlasses at the DollarStores
Yes, I had a lovely 4th. I had a chuckle over your Dollar Store comment as my sis is addicted to them.
I'm very happy to read about the job and that you're trying to get out and do things more. MMH I think you will find this very, very good for your life! Keep at it!
Quote: This Weekend: Greater Hartford Jazz Festival Head downtown this weekend for three days of jazz in Bushnell Park. The Greater Hartford Jazz Festival runs July 14-16 and features mainstream, cutting-edge, traditional and contemporary jazz performers of national and international stature, as well as aspiring local and regional talent. Best of all... it's all free!
Hey if you don’t have plans yet for this weekend, It’s been fun – so come on out & we can do picnic lunch & dinner in the park enjoying the jazz & sipping on “BYOB”
If you decide to come I’m heading out early so I can get a good spot by the main stage - so just come on over!
Take 84 east & get off at the Capitol Ave exit & then turn left & look for parking & head for the park & capitol building – there is free parking usually at the capitol building but it fills up quickly but if you come in the morning there’ll be some parking near the park & quick walk, I’ll be on the side of the park which the capitol building is on (the road cuts the park in 2) & look for me near the stage.
aahh the ugly side of mlc raising it's head 
I'm recovering pretty well from my lasik surgery 
whheeee this is going to be a fun summer! 
