Here's a Venutian thing to test your weight issues -- how are your clothes fitting? If you are feeling like they are a little tight, then you might want to adjust your beer-intake or something. Otherwise, if they aren't, then you are truly exchanging muscle for pudge, and you're doing just fine. Also take a good long hard look at yourself in the mirror, naked. Be honest and objective. Consider your strengths as well as your areas for improvement.
One word for the smoking -- if you are really struggling that much, give the Zyban/Wellbutrin a try. It really helped get me over the hard hump. I only used it for about 4-6 weeks, as I didn't like it's overall effects. I was starting to feel lethargic. You take it for 2 weeks before you quit, and then use the patch, gum or lozenge.
You can do it, Kev! I actually took me about 6 tries in my lifetime to finally accomplish it, but I did it! Well, it took 6 tries AND 2 grandsons!
Tonight I am home as I work on a new class that started today and prepare for a trip out of town w/SO. We will be spending the weekend across the state at a convention. Should be lots of fun!
My new class is going to be kind of a drag -- Public Budgeting Systems. Definitely my least favorite public administration topic. Zero-based budgeting...okay, whatever. It doesn't apply to my current line of work. The CFO sets the budgeting process, and all of us little minions get to follow along with whatever the Great Oz says we must do.
Last night was a very good night. I'd had a rather stressful day at work, so I took some time to get in a really good workout at the gym, then a hair cut before heading over to SO's for the night. SO is getting very good about being supportive of my "me" time and letting go of the whole "organized" dinner thing. I'm pretty non-plused by dinner plans; it's more about just spending time together. He got in some roller blading while I was working out. We did eat dinner, but it wasn't any big thing. He bbq'd some chops. We had a wonderful, meaty conversation about work and related things we have in common. The tv didn't even come on until we wanted to watch the weather as we readied for bed. We wend to bed, had a wonderful, meaningful, ML session, and we both slept like babies. This is what it is supposed to be like. This is what we work so hard to achieve.
Um, so, okay, I was listening to the MCC cd earlier this week, and this song struck me:
The Hard Way
Show a little inspiration, show a little spark And show that things that drew me to you and stole my heart And tell me something I don't know instead of everything I do And look at me as if I mean something to you Our hearts are beating while we sleep, but while we're wide awake You know the world won't stop, and actions speak louder Listen to your heart, and what your heart might say Everything we got, we got the hard way
Show a little passion, baby, show a little style And show the knack for knowing when and the gift for knowing how And have a little trust in us when fear obscures the path You know we got this far, darling, not by luck, but by never turning back Some will call on destiny, but I just call on faith That the world won't stop, and actions speak louder Listen to your heart, to what your heart might say Everything we got, we got the hard way
Caught up in our little lives, there's not a lot left over I see what's missing in your eyes; you're searching for that field of clover So show a little inspiration, show a little spark Show the world a little light when you show it your heart We've got two lives, one we're given and the other one we make And the world won't stop, and actions speak louder Listen to your heart, and your heart might say Everything we got, we got the hard (everything we got, we got the hard way) Everything we got, we got the hard way (Because the world won't stop) hang on, baby...
It occured to me that this reflects, to some degree, where the WA's are, and even where we LBS's can find ourselves.
When something is revealed to me when I'm not looking for it, it is like a breath of fresh air.
Had a wonderful time at the convention with SO and friends this weekend. SO really is great fun and much easier to be around now that he's come to understand he no longer needs drama in his life. Whew! Am I ever glad he learned that lesson!
There were a couple of tense moments, mostly of my own making, but I think I handled them very well. During a social gathering on Friday night, SO spent a fair amount of time talking to one woman in particular. I experienced a fair bit of angst around it, but I worked through it, mostly by engaging myself in conversation with other people. It was tough going for a bit, but I got through it.
We had another tense moment when I felt that SO was pressuring me to perform in ways (advanced public speaking) which I am not yet ready. We were both involved in a brief but very funny skit on Saturday night during the closing banquet to introduce the fall convention. He was pressuring me not to use the script, although most of the others were going to rely on it. The first time he brought it up, I jokingly asked that we change the subject. He got the hint, but then it came up again shortly before the banquet, in conversation with another of our "gang". I smiled, rolled my eyes, and jokingly asked them both to cut me a little slack as I was much newer at this than they. SO's been in this organization for over 7 years, plus has comedy improv experience. I've only been at this for 4 months and don't have the same level of skill. When I used the expression, "back the truck up," both SO and the other male buddy put their hands up and said, "Ok! Ok!". I think I made my point without creating too much agitation. I later teased SO about being bossy. He agreed.
One way I could have handled this differently was to more softly state to SO that "I just am not comfortable with my skill level yet to be able to do it your way."
I'm getting there, in both forms of communication.
I just apologized to SO for getting short/snappy with him about the skit thing. I explained to him that my skill level wasn't where his is, and that I just am not comfortable with improv yet. I asked him to please be patient with me and to give me time to develop my skills well.
I think what you said was fine. Sometimes humor is the best way to deal with that kind of public situation. Following up with the apology and explanation was perfect. Cut yourself some slack, girl!
And way to deal with his convo with that woman. That kind of thing would be/ will be hard for me as well.
Typical Venusian ploy to try to get the Martian to talk about something that is past, over, and over, and over. His Martian attitude - behind the words - says "Dudette, just let it go."
Venusians are the queens of rumination. Martians? The kings of distraction.
I've never figured out the happy common ground, but maybe he just tried to find it with you in that moment.
Is it still snowing in Iowa or have the crocus already broken thru the tundra?
I wanted to post over here that I do believe SO was trying to show understanding. I get the feeling he wasn't trying to make a big deal out of it, or to try to "guilt" you over it, anything like that. Like Gabe says, it's over and he's not going to get all disappointed in you for it.
I hear your neck of the woods is rated in the Top Ten places to live by some survey released today. Congrats!
Thanks,
Joe
My sitch More importantly, Light A Million Candles
Otherwise, if they aren't, then you are truly exchanging muscle for pudge, and you're doing just fine. Also take a good long hard look at yourself in the mirror, naked. Be honest and objective. Consider your strengths as well as your areas for improvement. 
We will be spending the weekend across the state at a convention. Should be lots of fun!
His Martian attitude - behind the words - says "Dudette, just let it go."