Hi Lady 911! You cannot imagine my shock when I read your name here again on the bb. I have often wondered how you were doing. I rarely see anyone who started on the bb when we did....way back when. There are three or four left floating around here that were in our original group.
I am glad to see that you are doing well and have found someone you are considering marrying someday.
I have also found someone...a fellow DB'er of all things. It makes for an interesting relationship to say the least!
Sometimes we look at one another and ask, "Are you DB'ing me?" It can be quite humorous at times.
I believe that only time is going to heal all the wounds we have received. Even then the scars can be pure hell when someone bumps into them. Sweetie and I occassionally bump one another's scars....not intentionally, of course, but it does still happen.
When it does happen, we both try to remember that we must communicate in a positive way about what has happend. That communication is vital. The way we handle it is that he will say, "Okay, C*****." I immediately get the message. My message to him, when he hits one of my scars is to say back to him, "Okay, T****, better known here on the bb as Old Whiplash. Those little words say volumes to each of us. Sometimes we give an explanation of why whatever it is bothers our scars. Sometimes we don't because an explanation isn't necessary because we have immediately recognized what has happened.
My advice to you and to everyone else is don't be overly afraid of a new relationship. Take your time. Don't rush. Don't let hormones get in the way of your common sense and sense of self-preservation. Next, communicate. Talk to one another. And last, learn what his or her love language is.
Life can be good here on the other side of divorce.
