Well that's good to hear. Perhaps she is going through perimenopause, in which case seeing a Dr. would definitely be a good thing to do. Be wary on this though, while she truly could be going through this, it could also be another smoke-screen. Encourage her to follow-through on seeing a Dr. about it
Also....when she said "don't touch my breast when I'm having a hot flash."...did you ask her, how will I know when that is so I can avoid doing that? See....my reaction to her comment (while she could be truly perimenopausal) was more of a put off. Now, if she truly did mean it that way, that the touch irritated her right then.....then ask her where you can touch her that is "ok"....not in a snotty way. Just in a "I'd like to touch you, so please tell me where it's ok"....so you know where you can touch her when you feel like it.
Well that's good to hear. Perhaps she is going through perimenopause, in which case seeing a Dr. would definitely be a good thing to do. Be wary on this though, while she truly could be going through this, it could also be another smoke-screen. Encourage her to follow-through on seeing a Dr. about it
Also....when she said "don't touch my breast when I'm having a hot flash."...did you ask her, how will I know when that is so I can avoid doing that? See....my reaction to her comment (while she could be truly perimenopausal) was more of a put off. Now, if she truly did mean it that way, that the touch irritated her right then.....then ask her where you can touch her that is "ok"....not in a snotty way. Just in a "I'd like to touch you, so please tell me where it's ok"....so you know where you can touch her when you feel like it.
A lot of what you are discussing seems to be in line with the MLCer. Hormones out of balance, in the years of reflection etc.. Take a look at the MLC forum from time to time. There is a relation.
Hot flash clues. Dampness felt on her face, neck, back, arms, around hair line or pushing hair aside. Change is skin color. Woman fanning herself. Woman not in close proxcimity to other people or pets. Woman removes clothing or losens colthing. Women sits in front of fan, air conditioner, or open windows.
Hot flashes are real. I feel then too when I am close to BB.
Greeneyedlass, I don't think it's a put off. She's mentioned the perimenopause in another context (elsewhere online--I'm sorry, I can't post the link as that would break security), that she's been having hot flashes, getting over-emotional, and having an even harder time than usual sleeping (!). She also mentions home testing kits that detect the hormone levels and can tell you if you're in perimenopause, which makes me wonder if she's bought and used one today. She would need to find a GYN here, as she hasn't needed one since we moved here, or get her regular doctor (an internist) to prescribe the hormones for her.
I suppose I should have asked her "When can I know/Where can I touch you" etc., but I was too busy mentally kicking myself for having gotten greedy.
Wow, response flood! I don't think I've ever seen this much traffic on "my" thread...
- "A"
"Everything that happens, happens. Everything that, in happening, causes something else to happen, causes something else to happen. Everything that, in happening, causes itself to happen again, happens again."
I don't doubt that she may very well be experiencing perimenopause, many women do. Try to get over your fear of communicating with her though (in the moment). It's a tough thing to do...but you can do it. It's certainly not out of line to ask simple questions to gather information...especially since she's dealing with something completely foreign to you. It's good info to have to know where it's ok to touch her, especially during hot flashes etc.....and IMPO as a woman, from my perspective it would show consideration from you as to you trying to avoid doing something she would find irritating Also, learn her signs of hot flashes....then try to do things to help cool her off....cool drinks, a fan (those little battery operated ones my mom just loves!) stuff like that.
I wasn't exactly suffering from "fear" in that moment, Greeneyedlass; it was more like "Oh (expletive), I just got her good and upset, and I probably just reversed all the progress I made! Stupid! I'm so stupid!" She's still got the hot flash, so I may ask her more of those questions later.
She is still interested in seeing someone about HRT, so I looked up four OB/GYNs for her, all near her existing doctor's office, and all female. We'll see if this goes anywhere. As for heat-beating stuff...we'll see.
- "A"
"Everything that happens, happens. Everything that, in happening, causes something else to happen, causes something else to happen. Everything that, in happening, causes itself to happen again, happens again."
