Quote: I'm just a little teed off because this D should have been final so long ago and I didn't want to have another anniversary with H.
I know exactly how you feel. Friday (8-5-05) would have been my 10th year anniversary. The last year I survived by staying busy, my sister and mother paid for a day of beauty at my favorite Day Spa. This year I am planning a night out on the town with 2 of my girlfriends.
I believe that I am one of the 'lucky' ones here, since I do not have children. So once my D is final I will never have to see STBX again, unless I am as lucky as Que. I would love to see my nieces and nephews again but their parents have erased me out of their life, so I have no choice but move on without them. Cheryl
Love all, trust a few. Do wrong to none.
Shakespeare
(((Cheryl))) Sorry you're down. Last year on anniversary I called XH and wished him a "happy un-anniversary". I thought he'd think it was funny, but he didn't. I hate it when they lose their sense of humor, don't you???
Good for you on the dinner alone. Everything gets easier with time. I still haven't gone to a movie alone and that's one of my goals. I'll do it eventually. Yuck!!
It's been a while since I've posted, and that's mainly because I've had little to report and even less time to sit down here and write. I do keep up with everyone, but it's getting harder and harder to do that AND post on my thread. That's probably true for lots of us.
The boys are now in their 3rd week of school and of course, they hate it. But they wouldnt be normal if they didn't. I find them more relaxed than ever with the whole sit now - who'd have imagined? I think their lingering unhappiness was a direct result of MY lingering unhappiness with the D. Once I started getting better, so did they. It's amazing how that works.
Like Tony P, I also have a don't ask, don't tell policy. I never ask them about who is at H's or what he's up to. I don't want to know. When I first found out about the redneck woman and I asked him who she was he told me "you don't need to know that". Well, he was right. I honestly don't care who he sees or what he does. Makes no difference now anyway. I do know one thing - he's not going to find anyone like me. We each are one-of-a-kind folks. They were lucky to have us and they can go searching for the rest of their lives if they wish. I did find that once we get that attitude, they realize certain things. I do wish I'd had it from the start.
NG and I are still an item. It blows my mind that we are but we are usally on the same page. I know how hard that is to find, and I feel so lucky to have found it so soon. He understands that i'm not nearly ready for anything permanent and that I may never be. He's happy with the way things are and so am I. We see one another once, sometimes twice a week. We'll meet for lunch during the workday, or meet one another at the garden center, or have dinner together. We don't worry about when we're not together and the way I look at it - if he finds someone else just because I'm not around all of the time - well - I don't want him anyway. But he tells me he doesn't want that. We will see. We will take our first trip together to Vegas in September. Well, I will be there taking a class for 3 days before he gets there.
H has been really nice lately and so have I. I don't want to fight with him any longer. I know that he was once a very nice person and I think he may be turning into that nice person again. At least he's acting like him.
I am STILL not divorced. We settled in December and the D was "just a formality" after the settlement. Yeah right. I think the hold up is the QDRO. That's fine with me, I'd really rather NOT be single when I go to Vegas if you know what I mean. I would HATE to have a few drinks and lose my mind or something, LOL. There's really not much of a chance of that.
Life is really good right now. I sure hope it stays that way for a while.
I need to work on that "don't ask don't tell thing" because I am still weak there.
For example, my ex BIL came down from Indiana 2 weeks ago to visit my ex. S11 went over there with S19 one night for dinner, and S11 went over there another night.
On one hand I enjoy listening to how my ex's family is doing, because I do care about them. I even asked S11 to tell ex BIL hello for me.
But with the info about the family comes some hurt and pain, because I'm not a part of that family anymore.
I try to listen to S11 when he talks about being at his Dad's and what the family does. But a couple times lately S11 picked up on the fact that it makes me sad. I never realized it showed. S11 is slower now about talking, and maybe that's a good thing.
You sound good. I'm glad you've found a balance with NG. That's hard to do, and I'm still working on that.
I hope you have a great time in Vegas. I've never been (hard to believe I'm American, eh? ). But maybe one day.
Keep on enjoying the good life. You deserve it!
Me 47 Ex H 46 Bomb 9/02 D final 3/04 Ex H now married to OW
------------ This is surviving. There is no such thing as a normal life, there's just life. So get on with it and enjoy it!
The boys had to go to an 8 hour driving class today. Seems SC changed the law and makes that a requirement to get a permanent license. H's mother paid for it and arranged for it. That was nice of her, except nobody told me about it until last night. I was gracious when H called.
H had the boys Wednesday and Thursday. I got a call from my son Wed night telling me his dad was on the way over to get his social security card. I asked him, why right now? It was about 9:00 and he didn't need it that night, but H insisted on coming over. I really didn';t want to deal with H, so I called a friend and kept her on the phone while H was here. That way, he would come, get what he came for, and leave. It worked. I guess I should face him alone but I just don't want to after the last 3 times and he wanted more than I was willing to give him.
Last weekend H had the boys and NG was here. I don't know if any of you remember, but about a month after the bomb, I was sitting at the kitchen table with H one morning and I told him that I knew there was someone out there who would love me for who I am no matter what. H said nothing. I told NG about that, oh, I don't know - maybe 7, 8 months ago. On Saturday, NG asked me if I remembered telling him about that. I said I did. He told me that HE was the one and he wants me to remember that.
Sounds like things are going really well with you. I like your attitude. NG is perfect for you because you are very clear both with him and with yourself about what you want right now. And he fits the bill. Looking too far ahead is just too much for most of us. At least - that's the page I'm on right now. Yes - I do think about it. But I don't worry about it. And there in lies the difference.
I LOVE Vegas. I am not American. Makes no difference. I used to hate it. That's when I went with H. Now I go with my girlfriends and our teen daughters once a year. We have a blast!!! See Ka if you see anything. Its definitely the best and I have seen 6 different Cirque du Soleil shows.
I agree with you about not asking info. My kids tell me things sometimes, but it usually comes out randomly. I find the more I know, the more the old hurts kick back in. And I don't like feeling that way.
In the past week, D has casually mentioned that H has a new truck, he got a new Faith Hill CD and that she doubts he'll go through with his wedding next month. Its obvious to me that my kids are still in disbelief over their dad's behaviour (son mentions things often too), so they say them out loud so they can believe that they're true. No matter - I take little notice of it anymore.
Enjoy your sons' driving. Ashley has finished all lessons but hasn't booked her road test yet. I'm just as glad - makes me nervous.
Barb, it's been a long time. Thanks for the visit. I too don't want to look too far ahead because I'm happy right now. The boys are going to be taking their 6 hours of road training this week. Jake got a weekend job starting next weekend so he can help pay insurance. It's just a matter of time before at least one of them will be out on the road. I shudder at the thought.
Sound like you are doing great! Just stopped in to see what was going on and had to check out your post. I am so glad that you and NG are still an item.
Friday (8-5-05) would have been my 10th year anniversary. The last year I survived by staying busy, my sister and mother paid for a day of beauty at my favorite Day Spa. This year I am planning a night out on the town with 2 of my girlfriends.
I would love to see my nieces and nephews again but their parents have erased me out of their life, so I have no choice but move on without them.
). But maybe one day. 
