I have a lot of medical bills from Hysterectomy and from a prior D&C to stop bleeding. I just got done mailing out payments on 14 different accounts! The payments added up to $500..plus a little change.
I called H at work to tell him and explained how guilty this makes me feel. H said to just keep paying on them, it didn't bother him as much as it used to...to be in debt. He told me not to worry about it.
Quote: I called H at work to tell him and explained how guilty this makes me feel. H said to just keep paying on them, it didn't bother him as much as it used to...to be in debt. He told me not to worry about it.
check out dave ramsey (http://www.daveramsey.com/) he shows a good plan that makes both partners feel good.
Thanks, I'll check it out. The main thing was that H used to stress big time over medical debts and I always felt bad as they were my debts and I don't work outside of the home. Now, however, H is making an effort to let me know that I don't have to feel guilty about this. H is being kinder, and more loving. It's a good thing. We aren't in terrible debt. Nothing we can't pay off in a year or so.
Are you not doing any of that writing or editing work you talked about last year? Does your S live with you now?
Last year when you posted here regularly, your H seemed hell bent on a S or D. Please write a little about how he actually turned around. Did talk of all that just sort of melt away? Did you sit down and talk about it? Did he ever bring the subject up explicitly? I am just trying to see how things changed from him wanting out and being very angry, to how things are now. It would be most helpful to learn something from it.
Thanks Alaskangal!
Livnlearn
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates
Read: Mixed Emotions, I'm Back in the Saddle Again! and Falling in Love All Over Again.......
Sorry, I don't know how to link to those threads....
In a nutshell, Yes H was hellbent on D. I finally stopped worrying about H and OW and D and everything else and started worrying about me. I hospitalized myself and got my meds straight. While I was in the hospital, H moved home as no one was living there. H was sick of living with his parents. H was still drinking and partying while I was gone. When I got back I told him no alcohol in the house or he could leave again. I faced up to the legal charges pending and got my legal situation straight. I started biking and going to church. I pretty much changed my whole self...into a new attractive, less dependent new woman. H didn't want to lose $$$$ in a D, so he stuck around rather unwillingly at first, but then more and more willingly. H fell back in love with me and I fell back in love with him.
I haven't posted on the Board in ages, not sure who will remember me now.
But I had to put my 2 cents in here ( Or two pennies as we say in UK )
I spent a whole year coming to this site and in the process geinng my H to return home.
He has now been home for 1 and a half years, gosh thats gone quick.
Lol I cant tell you what a change in our R there is, its unbeleivable!!
My H, the man who is cold and un loving: ( so I thought)
1) Tells me he loves me practically every day ( WITHOUT Prompting)
2) Does regular tempreture checks ( do you love me ?) 3) never falls asleep without cudling me 4)Tells me where he is going, who with and why. 5) Is trying desperatly hard to get our friends reconected after we split they seemed to distance thm selves.
H is more in love with me today than he has ever been.
I have watched him change over the last year and a half, right from Baby steps to this day... Its amazing.
My List of do's
1) Do get a life 2) Do Detach 3) Do Be as loving and as supportive as you can 4) Do try and understand what Dbing is all about.
DONTS
1) Dont FIX all the time (if you stop they start) 2) Dont Beg, plead or cry ( beleive me when H came home I was so glad I hadn't got him back tht way)
Well, I know I should be writing piecing stuff here, but I don't feel like I'm in the right place again. I didn't see H for 4 days even though he called but it was like he had other things to do and I was NOT a priority. I saw him last night and it was fine but just the same old stuff. Kinda like he doesn't have anything better going on so asks me to come over.
I wasn't going to go over but I missed him after 4 days so I did it anyway. I didn't say anything. I am just afraid of detaching that much. When we were together I detached so much that he had an A. Well, that isn't the only reason, but that was my part of it.
I really think I am doing great in all other areas but the detaching one. And I get tired of nothing moving ahead. I just don't know what to do today. I am in the mood to tell him we need to take a time out and he should go get himself together and leave me alone for awhile. But that isn't really what I want.
I want to understand more about your sitch, could you give me any links? I am grateful that you answered my post last time. Hope that we can communicate more.
Rgds French Kitty
my last thread : Lost in his MLC
http://www.divorcebusting.com/ubbthreads/showflat.php?Cat=&Number=957116&page=&view=&sb=5&o=&fpart=1&vc=1
I don't know how to link, but the threads are Mixed Emotions in newcomers, Back in the Saddle Again in piecing, and Falling in Love all over again in piecing.
