It's been a while since I posted....if someone could attach my past posts for history, I would appreciate that.
I never did master that on this BB board.
Quick history:
Bomb with H hit 6/03 We tried to live together, stuggled with his depression and MLC for 9+ months. H moved out 3/04 H started pursuing end of May 04..... Moved back in unoffically Memorial week-end Summer went pretty well....moved back in officially 8/04 Went on long vacation together Sept 04 More long week-ends Oct Family holidays Now steady progress in a forward direction
H has never fully apologized for the pain he caused...tho in some words has said he realizes how much richness we've had the past 25 yrs...how compatible we really are and how important our family unit is to him....even tho the kids are in college and on their own.
There are moments when I second guess his quietness....but he has not behaved in any way, shape or form to make me question his trust. We still have moments of miscommunication.....I am still working hard are staying away from ASSumptions....and being more straight forward.
He is still not as affectionate as I would like, but I am being patient. I still see moments when he retreats.....he still has some sorting to work out.
I am working now....have been for a year & a half, taking better care of myself, growing more spiritually and trying to be true to myself, H and family.
That's the update...gotta go now, but will catch up with others soon.
You were quick to respond and cheer me on. Thanks so much...I love having my empathetic friends here on the BB....you and some others have been real lifesavers at times.
I have no real news to catch you up on. H does travel a lot....but when he's home....he really here...not distant. He does not seem to be working too hard at the R, acting as tho things were the same as they were 3+ yrs ago. Funny....there are times I want to confront and encourage him to talk/summarize what really happened during his phase/MLC....to really explain it all to me. But, I am afraid to confront....wanting him to feel ready to go there.
As far as working again....I had gone over 5 years without working outside the home.....we both had agreed that would be best for the family, and his income made up the difference at the time. Well, when he hit his MLC stage that was one of the things he pointed a finger at with me. Saying, I was acting "entitled"....that hurt....
So I took a long look at myself, and realized that I did miss my work....I'm a therapist and good at it. So when I read DR and started taking better care of ME.....one of the things that came my way was a great opportunity to work part-time and be an independent contractor in my field. I mean, I think God brought that position to me in a timely way....and I love it. I'm amking dcent money, have control over most of my hours, and feel I am contributing in many ways. I also lost weight, exercised more, and grew in my spiritual path. All that started to show....and I think H noticed big time. He realized him pointing the finger...was NOT quite the deal...but I have to admit, I had issues to improve upon.
I am in a position to be very thankful....but as many of you know, it is still hard work. It is easy to slip into old habits, get sloppy, etc.
Well enough rambling...I will see what's happening with all of you.
Quote: It is easy to slip into old habits, get sloppy, etc.
Yup, its so easy to slip back. Just wondering if you have noticed any changes in your dynamic with H, now that you have a new perspective on yourself and your world...
Slowly