My WAW and I have only had sex 2 times in 3 years, both were this year on 01-01-04 and 02.01.04 (we seperated 07-01). I have not gone outside our relationship at all but I feel she has. When we talk about or even joke about sex in passing she withdraws and feels uncomfortable so I immediately stop.
We have a close "friendship" since seperating and we had a good sex life when we were together but now it makes her feel uncomfortable. We also have been married 9 years and have a 4 year old for which I have custody. When she drinks a little she loosens up and is at ease about it but the desire is not there. She can talk to female friends about sex in front of me and she is fine but something is just not connecting.
Even though we are seperated and have agreed not to divorce I feel that if we were to put that back into our relationship even in a small way we could begin to re-build our marriage and have a stronger relationship.
I would like to take her out of town for new years eve have fun at a party and see if we can start to re-connect.
Last year we went out of town together and had a great time then we crashed in a hotel room (neither of us was in shape to drive) and I casually stoked her fires and we had sex. She got up afterwards and said under her breath "why do I feel so confused"
In my opinion, it is almost impossible to recover a marriage as long as there are more than two participants.
Your gut feeling is that your wife is seeing someone else sexually. That is then highly likely.
If you want to make real progress in recovering your marriage, your wife will need to dump the affair before you invest much into the relationship.
I am glad you have custody. It would be a good idea to make that legal custody if you haven't already.
Sorry I could not offer much in the way of encouragement.
-NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
Honestly I dont feel she is seeing someone sexually at all or even had "something steady" but may have had an "occurance" or 2.
We were casually talking about sex the other day and she said "Damn Hunter, we have not had sex in 10 months!!!, maybe its because your seeing someone else but it sure has not been with me!!"
I let her know that even though she may think I have I have not.
If you are considering reconciliation, a serious conversation about who has done what and with whom is in order *before* you start exchanging fluids.
All the best, -NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
