We are in the middle of it. She got board with me after 20 years, so I started an affair. My W got the message that I was alone a little late, but says she thinks we could fix our marriage if we both commit to working on it and I attend counceling. Okay, I know I was wrong about having an affair, but can the W ever truly forgive me? I accepted the idea that when I started my affair, the M was over. Well, she isn't letting go, even though I've asked for a seperation. My real concern is can the W ever truly forgive me? How can I tell if there is real hope?
To me you are looking at it from the wrong perspective. If she isn't letting go, she can forgive you.
The real question is, are you committed to doing this? Do you still have feelings for her? I am wondering why you consider this, but yet are more worried about her end than yours.
S - thanks for the reply. I know my dad cheated and then tryed to get back with my mom, for over 10 years he tried to make it work, but it never did so it finally ended in D. It seems like most folks I've known - once they had an affair, then the real relationship with the spouse was never the same or repaired. I guess I'm looking at how to make this work if I ask her to forgive me, but if there isn't a chance now, then I should just let it all die and move on.
