Title is from my cainercast: We can spend so much time with someone... live the same life, share the same environment and feel so sure that we know them? Then, one day we suddenly realise that somewhere in the relationship, a point of mutually convenient misunderstanding has been allowed to develop. We actually don't know this person as well as we thought we did. Nor do they fully know us. Times like this are challenging, but potentially more rewarding than an eternity of polite pretence. Prepare for a wonderful discovery.
seems like a good reminder to embrace the "beginner's mind" philosophy!
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
Feeling kind of tired today...I left work early yesterday to meet up with my study/project group. We made reasonable progress on our group project...then I decided to bag class (BAD!!) and went to the movies instead. I saw "Love Actually" which I found delightful. Funny and sad and quick moving. It had great songs in it, too. Note that there is an infidelity theme to one of the stories but, hey, that can be carthartic, no?
Puttered around at home afterwards...finally did my flybaby 15 . H came home from his study group and was just delightful...very loving, warm, funny, enthuastic. He's such a pleasure! We have a busy weekend (date tonight, the "ball" tomorrow, we're staying in town tomorrow night, etc). He told me a couple of times yesterday that he couldn't wait to spend time with me. Nice to hear and certainly mutual.
We went out for breakfast this AM. I had suggested it earlier in the week (since we were going for a bunch of days without a "date") and he surprised me this AM after I got back from the gym. A very nice way to start the day!
I'm having a little bit of a hard time with the bill/lie stuff...I'm trying to be open and non-judgemental but I do find myself feeling a bit leery, closed off at times...the kind of weird thing is that the bill is sitting in our kitchen in plain view...it's out of the envelope (he took it out). It's been there for a few days. Is is even remotely possible that he wants me to bring it up?
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
listen, about this whole cc biz. i was thinking to myself, if this guy KNOWS you pay the bills, what would be his benefit of lying about something you could check out so easily? i just don't get that one sage
could it possibly be just a forgetful memory? you both are pushing limits with your careers and your r - things can get hazy every once in awhile
I'm wondering if this is something really innocent.
I mean, he wouldn't just leave the bill around for you to catch him in a lie. From the stuff you've said about him, he's smarter than that!
I suspect it's either A> Something innocent, B> a test, or C> something else entirely. And I don't think there's a negative reason behind it.
Is it possible that he's already cancelled AOL, but they refuse to let go? I've heard of situations like that happening. Where someone cancels their service, but AOL keeps charging them for months afterwards, claiming they got no cancellation notice.
I'm wondering if this is something really innocent.
I mean, he wouldn't just leave the bill around for you to catch him in a lie. From the stuff you've said about him, he's smarter than that!
So...that's the weird part...He DID lie...told me the charge was "gas" when it was AOL (told me this over the phone..) so leaving the bill laying out there just increases the odds that I do pick it up, see that he lied and ask him about it.
It'd be one thing if he had called me, read the charges and said "yikes, aol is still on here...what's up with that?" but that's not what happened.
There's nothing in h's behavior that makes me think that anything untoward is going on...but I feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place because what I really want to say is "hey, why did you tell me the charge was gas when it was something else"....I dunno. maybe it's a way to springboard a discussion a la last weekend? "well, in the past if I told you that I forgot to do something you'd get really upset and I just got nervous..."
Sage (who has no inclination towards work today...maybe she should go see another movie!)
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
I haven't posted to you until now, but I have read all of your threads and I must say you get the oscar for most deep and intellectual poster...LL gets it for most hilarious, entertaining, and honest.
That be said, when reading your dilemna about the AOL charges...if these have been there all year, could it simply be that he knows that charge is there, is a given, and therefore not really notable. Kinda like when you make a grocery list, you don't put milk and bread on it because it is something you don't need to remember since you get it every trip anyway?
Me thinks you are reading way too much into this. JMHO!!!
. H came home from his study group and was just delightful...very loving, warm, funny, enthuastic. He's such a pleasure! We have a busy weekend (date tonight, the "ball" tomorrow, we're staying in town tomorrow night, etc). He told me a couple of times yesterday that he couldn't wait to spend time with me. Nice to hear and certainly mutual.
