One of my favorite songs was playing on the radio this morning.
Meet in the Middle by Diamond Rio
It was seven hundred fenceposts from your place to ours Neither one of us was old enough to drive a car Sometimes it was raining, sometimes it would shine We wore out that gravel road between your house and mine
I'd start walking your way You'd start walking mine We'd meet in the middle 'Neath that old Georgia pine We'd gain a lot of ground 'Cause we'd both give a little And there ain't no road to long When you meet in the middle
It's been seven years tomorrow since we said our vows Under that old pine tree, you ought to see it now Standing in the back yard reminding me and you That if we don't see eye to eye there's something we can do
I'd start walking your way You'd start walking mine We'd meet in the middle 'Neath that old Georgia pine We'd gain a lot of ground 'Cause we'd both give a little And there ain't no road to long When you meet in the middle
Babe I love the way we work it out That's what love's about
I'd start walking your way You'd start walking mine We'd meet in the middle 'Neath that old Georgia pine We'd gain a lot of ground 'Cause we'd both give a little And there ain't no road to long When you meet in the middle
I told him I had sent him an email. He asked what it was about, so I told him what I had said in the email. That I wanted to figure out a plan for calling...who calls who, is there a limit, etc.
He said I could leave as many messages as I like on his voice mail at work. However, I should only speak to him once or twice a day.
And then he told me that most of the calls coming in on his line are customers asking if that store has a product in stock...so he doesn't answer most of the calls.
He then told me that he listens to voice messages on the speaker phone. When he hears that the message is from me, he picks it up as quick as he can.
I asked him why he listens to his phone messages on the speaker phone, was it just a power/ego thing? I know, bad choice of words, but he laughed and said that if it's a customer asking about their computer, if it's on speaker phone, everyone can hear and the tech who is working on the computer can explain what is happening with that computer.
Makes sense to me.
I told him I was concerned that with him working 6 days a week, that I wasn't going to be able to see him.
He explained that the 7 am to 7 pm, 6 days a week is only going to last a month, and that he has every intention of seeing me on his one day off.
I'm so thrilled!
I sputtered and asked him if there weren't things he needed to get down on his day off. He laughed and said, "Yes, they just won't get done!"
This is a complete turn around from the alien who needed tons of time to himself.
I told him he could do his laundry at my parents house and he was happy about that. Said it would help a lot.
I told him I'd begun looking at houses in the area and trying to learn what I can. He suggested House Buying for Dummies. I told him my parents had offered to help us. His response was negative. He's still thinking of them as controlling. And of course, in some ways they still are. But I do hope to have him learn to see them in the positive light that I've learned to. So, I explained to him that they were offering to help us with their house buying experience and to help us not buy a money pit.
I think I've DBed my husband. Now I've got to DB my Mother in law, and DB my husband's relationship with my parents...and of course I have to continue to DB my parents.
I've got plenty of work ahead of me!
Oh, and one other thing. I'm worried I made him angry. But I explained to my husband that while we've been living apart, I've only been sick once. Whereas, when I was living in his town with him, I was sick all the time. I told him, that now that we are seeing each other again, I'm getting really bad headaches...and I suspect its from his smoking.
He replied, "Well, step back next time!"
I stayed quiet.
He said, "I'm sorry. That wasn't fair of me."
I told him about a new Lozenge called Commit. It's like anti-smoking gum, but better.
He's already agreed to quit smoking when we live together again. But I was trying to ask him to use these lozenges on our date.
He said he'd consider it and then said he had to go. I asked him if I'd made him angry. He said he wasn't and he didn't sound angry. But he did want to end our conversation.
So, I called him this morning and left a message on his voice mail. I thanked him for our conversation last night. Said I felt better about our situation. I said I was asking for him to use the lozenges on our dates, not asking him to 'commit' (ha ha) to quitting right this minute.
We'll see what happens. It's a touchy subject, I know. I need to drop it and not bring it up anymore.
He said that he won't be moving in with me until after this month of long hours is over. If he gets a job here in my town, he would move to my town. But he wouldn't be commuting to work in his town, while living with me, until after this month.
So, even if he doesn't get a job in my town soon, we may be living together anyway, after this month is over!
Oh, and another thing, I'm not sure if I mentioned it. But the house he and his roomates live in, belong to M's mother. M and K are married and have a baby...and yet, M's mother is apparently fixing up the house so that she can sell it. Which means all 3 of them, and of course my husband, may no longer have a place to live. If that happens, he said, he may have to go ahead and move to my town and commute. But hopefully that won't happen until at least after this month is over with.
Positives- We are having positive conversations (even with my unfortunate wording) He is expressing excitement about seeing me/spending time with me. He told me he missed me even though I've been calling him every day.
Things to work on. Saying anything that might sound like I think bad about him.
Things to stop completely. Any mention of him quitting smoking. It's a dead horse.
He said his roomates' Mother is definately kicking them out of the house.
He asked me to look for something that would be a half hour commute for me and 1.5 hour commute for him.
I told him that where I'm living with my parents already matches that time. There's a bunch of places for rent/sale right in that area. He said he'd like me to look for something on the highway, as part of my half hour commute is taken up by driving back roads to the main road.
So, the excitement begins.
To find us a nice place to live, within our price range and time zones.
I forgot to say, he's got 1 month to get out. M's mother has given them a written notice that they have 30 days to evacuate. As she is mother to M, and grandmother to R and of course K's mother in law...I doubt they would question the legalities of the sitatution. I'm sure they are more upset about the way she's treating them, than whether what she is doing is legal.
In any case, my question to y'all is this:
Don't most Landlords want payment on the first of the month?
My husband has until Oct 24th to be out.
Does that mean when we find a place that we have to pay starting Oct 1st? Even though we won't be moved in by then?
Is this something that can be negotiated?
It's not that big of a deal, I guess.
Hugs all.
Last edited by PhoenixNTraining; 09/25/0312:12 PM.
Well, I have to say that I am again humbled by the love my parents show me.
They have shown themselves to be generous and wanting to help my husband and I in whatever way they can. This sunday we are going to drive around to see what is available.
They may not be skilled at showing love on a day to day basis. But when it comes to Crisis time, they know how to make me feel safe and loved.
This resolves my questions about why I used to make crisis happen when I was younger.
