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Employe the 24-48 hour rule when conversing with W. Give yourself 24-48 hours before responding to ensure your emotions have settled and you compose and respond from your intellect and reason rather than emotions/heartstrings/anger.
Some times, maybe a lot of times, there is no need for a response. If there are no questions, as in she is just baiting or temp checking, no response required. And you need not respond to all questions either.
As for the cats: Whose are they? Pet’s usually do not have custody arrangements. The pets are split up, or one party relinquishes their claim and allows the animals to remain together. If the cats are W’s, as I suspect they are, let her figure out her problem regarding how to provide care when she wants to go away with OM4. Accountability for her choices. Let her feel it.
Her problems are not your’s to solve.
It is also quite likely she is trying to pull you back in. Just ensuring you are placed upon the shelf.
You are correct, contact with her, especially if such contact runs counter to what she wants or expects it to, will lead to fighting. Remain dim/dark. Utilize 24-48 hours.
If you decide to reply. Be kind and cordial. Not need to toss gas on the fire. Tell (text) her you are busy and cannot take her cats. That’s it. When she bemoans “then what am going to do with them”, leave it alone. By the way, she’s using text, replying with text gives you more time to consider responses when she does a quick about face.
Be the grey rock when dealing with her and her mess. Focus on you and your life.
