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Acceptance is proving difficult. Many times I thought I had accepted what happened and moved forward only to be pulled back into anger, sadness, and frustration. Watching W continue to party like nothing happened is part of this: I want to get to a place where I no longer care what she is doing. I'm much closer now than I was 6 months ago, but still not "there" yet.
You are doing fine. And will get there.
Some guidance, perhaps.
Acceptance is emotional understanding. It’s not indifference, it’s not being unfeeling or not caring. It’s understanding your feelings, allowing your feelings, realizing your feelings, and therefore being able to feel and experience them without the debilitating sadness, depression, anger, and bargaining.
It’s similar to intellectual understanding. You know and understand thyself.
I do get how it seems like not caring. My goodness, for so long we feel such pain and heartbreak, ceaselessly. A big part of acceptance is cleaving that trigger, which then removes the cascade and reinforcement of feelings when we recall, remember, and care. It’s wonderful to no longer have such a runaway train, yet still care. Still feel.
Realizing our limits of our control, detaching, letting go, accountability, respecting our spouse’s right to choose, keeping one’s heart soft and squishy and not hardening it, and so on, all play important parts in achieving such emotional understanding and acceptance.
Like I said, you are doing fine.
Time is a gift. Be patience and allow it to work. Such is the mechanism of the emotional realm and journey.
