I’d happily wager $1000 she’s having an affair. That is the reality here.

Go through recent posts from the last few years. Nearly every LBS who comes here eventually discovers an affair.

Forget winning her back. She’s emotionally checked out, and she needs to work out for herself that staying with you is the right decision. There’s no way you can talk, act or convince her that she’s making a mistake.

What you really need to do is win YOURSELF back. The biggest challenge for the next two years will be to rebuild your self-love, self worth and confidence.

You said how you’re a gentle man and co-dependent on her. This is a very common theme at this site. Women say they want emotionally available men who are sympathetic and in touch with their feelings, but they divorce those sort of men at incredibly high rates.

Your best chance of winning her back is becoming strong. Every day you beg or plead or behave like losing her is the end of your happiness, she will be repulsed by you and move further away.

If she sees you thriving, becoming confident and almost happy to see the back of her, she will question her decision and think she’s giving up something good.

Best move you can make from here on;
1. Read DB boom several times, front to back
2. Throw her stuff to the curb and tell her she’s not coming back to the house
3. Zero contact
4. Help with your mental health to be reborn as a confident, outgoing and single man

This is a 3-5 year minimum commitment while she has her mid life crisis affair. You’ll need a lot of staying power, and you’ll also need to acknowledge that it’s likely by the time she wakes up and realises what she has lost, you’ll likely despise her and not want her back anyway.

I’m so sorry mate. There isn’t a person here who doesn’t know how much it hurts. If nothing else, this site can offer understanding and compassion. You must feel like your whole heart has been ripped out.

Millions of people have been through this. While it feels like your life is ending, know that you’re going to be okay. Hugs!