Opening a new thread, the other will be locked soon.
Journaling
This morning I am thinking about this question: do our moods control us, or do we control our moods? I think both are possible but I think we should control our moods. Clearly, this is much easier said than done, but it is one of my new goals.
This question came to me because, sitting here, getting ready to journal, I started to take stock and asked myself, "How am I feeling?" In that very moment, I realized my predisposition towards letting my moods control me. The very question shows what I subconsciously believed. If I believe that I should control moods, the questions should have been, "how do I want to feel today?" and "what can I do to ensure those feelings happen?"
I think my answers should be realistic. Given my current situation, I am not likely to feel ecstatic, as I would if I had won the lottery and H came home all healed and ready to work on the R. But, with some good PMA and some focus, I bet I can create a peaceful and somewhat happy mood for myself today.
Not trying to be all pollyanna about this. I realize there will be ups and downs. I am not going to go from someone who has let others set her feelings and moods for her, to some totally detached, independent person overnight. But, little-by-little, if I actively and consciously choos happiness, slowly, I think I can make it happen.
Please do not hold this against me during my next cryfest;) And I think we all now by now, I will likely be having another cryfest. Though, they are occurring less frequently!
Simplistically, I think our moods control us unless we consciously "fight" that urge and CHOOSE not to let them do so. That's what makes it hard, just flitting along our moods will control us (that's what'd happening to the betrayers, too, the "feeling" they get from the OM/OW in an EA or PA). The key, I think, is the introspection all of us here are doing and to realize that when the moods control us (good or bad), we still have to understand the ramifications of what we're doing and to always try to do the right thing, independently of what our moods are telling us. But, what do I know, I'm not a lawyer...
New: What a Weekend
H-48 WAW-49 M-22 S-14,9 D-11 EA disc.-11/07 PA disc.-3/08 EA2?-6/08 to ?
That's good, you got me to chuckle with a lawyer jab. Not bad. But watch out, you are dealing with a Chicago girl here.
I think you are right. It really is amazing how much positive change I have been able to accomplish in these last four months of introspection.
I think it was on A in Ohio's thread that someone said it takes a crisis for this kind of change to happen. But I think it takes more than that. I think it also takes desire, energy, will power and lots more to keep doing the work that needs to be done during the crisis.
The crisis is simply the catalyst, without a desire for forward motion, one simply stays in crisis. Which is why I think it takes so many WAS's so long to fix their crap. Some of them have that inner-strength and that desire to fix themselves and their problems and some do not. All we can do is work on ourselves and hope that they have that inner-strength.
Here is a motto I have been living by. It is a Winston Churchill quote and I probably will not get it exactly right, so forgive me: "If you find yourself in hell, keep walking." That thought helps me propel myself forward when I am feeling at my lowest.
I think it was on A in Ohio's thread that someone said it takes a crisis for this kind of change to happen. But I think it takes more than that. I think it also takes desire, energy, will power and lots more to keep doing the work that needs to be done during the crisis.
The crisis is simply the catalyst, without a desire for forward motion, one simply stays in crisis. Which is why I think it takes so many WAS's so long to fix their crap. Some of them have that inner-strength and that desire to fix themselves and their problems and some do not. All we can do is work on ourselves and hope that they have that inner-strength.
Since it is Sunday,
AMEN
LIS
M45 WW 43 D17/S14/D11
ILYB Jan 08 PA Conf Feb 08 OMW / OM contacted S Jan / 09
No one ever has, or ever will, escape the consequences of their actions.
The crisis is simply the catalyst, without a desire for forward motion, one simply stays in crisis. Which is why I think it takes so many WAS's so long to fix their crap. Some of them have that inner-strength and that desire to fix themselves and their problems and some do not. All we can do is work on ourselves and hope that they have that inner-strength.
-AlexEN
New: What a Weekend
H-48 WAW-49 M-22 S-14,9 D-11 EA disc.-11/07 PA disc.-3/08 EA2?-6/08 to ?
