Long story short: We move overseas for a fab career move for him....he got depressed because it wasn't what it seemed. He met a girl and "fell completely in love"..moved to CA and we moved back to MA because we had a home there...I had yet to know about the girl...we were suppose to move to CA after he found us (as a family) and place to live in a good school district. Fast forward two years later we made a commuter marriage work....two weeks ago he comes completely clean and lets me know that no one in CA knows we are married or that he has kids...and everyone thinks he is 37. Not to mention the clubbing, going to burning man....ect...he's had multiple women...he's not dating anyone now...because now he is coming clean to us all. He loves me but not "in love" with me. We are separated. Luckily enough I had read about mid-life crisis and knew enough to stand back...I told him that it was brave to come clean..tried really hard not to cry but totally failed. He is THE love of my life. My world. We have two kids who love him to death.

I'm trying to take care of myself and the kids. It is hard all I want to do is curl up and die. I don't know if this is typical but since the separation (a week ago) he gave me email passwords....he tells me he loves me and is now "confused" and maybe there is a chance...I woke up to an email this morning: "I miss you and hope you are sleeping well..love.." REALLY??!!! Love hurts a hell of a lot then. Literally I feel like I am breaking in two. I haven't responded.

I knew something was up in the past two years...I would have died for an email like that. Now, we are separated he is all open and loving. I feel like I cant say anything. I would love him to come back. I have to use kid gloves with him. I guess I am here because I don't want to take any bad steps. I feel it is a delicate time and I may indeed be able to nab him back. But how?

Also, should we stop sleeping together? I mean he is in CA and I am in MA with the kids. So, it is not every night but last visit after the separation announcement we had fabulous love making. I don't call or email.....but great sex might help right? or will it hinder? I don't go after him but if he goes after me? Should I respond to email? answer texts?

obviously, I am broken and confused....and I love him more than humanly possible. There is a real pull inside me to ask for clarity...but I know it will frighten him away like the child he is acting like. He's almost 41 now.

What do you do when the pain is so bad and all you want to do is call him?? When you are up at night crying and just not sleeping or eating?

Do I have a chance? What should I do???