Hi Ms. H! It's good to see that you've posted. We all have been thinking about you. The last time you posted, I think you had sold your home and were packing up and returning to school.
How is school going? How are the boys? Are they doing okay? How are you doing now?
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Yes, I did sell my home. I actually closed on what would of been my 10th wedding anniversary. Not how I pictured celebrating that day, but it is what it is. I tried to look at it like it was a new beginning.
Ex was not at closing, he gave power of attorney to his lawyer.
Keep your fingers crossed, I brought a new house. It's a house that has been rebuilt from the bottom up so everything is new. It's much smaller than my old house but I like it. It's right around the corner from my old house. I am hoping to close sometime at the end of November. Keep your fingers crossed for me that everything goes smoothly.
In the meantime I am living in a townhouse rental. It's not bad, but it doesn't feel like home to me. It's pretty small so most of my stuff is in storage. It's kind of stressful living like this. Thankfully it's just short term.
The boys are doing pretty good, thanks for asking Snodderly. My five year old started Kindergarten and loves it! He is the age my oldest was when all this first started and now my oldest is in the 3rd grade!
School is ok. I was taking 6 classes but dropped one. My five year old came down with Lyme disease last month so I need some free time to take him to the doctor. He is all better now, thank God! Of course ex blamed it on me that he got Lyme disease. Whatever.
Ex seems to be doing really well. He and ow remodeled their house and had a house warming party recently. According to ex's grandmother ex seems very happy, ow treats the children like they are her own, and the kids seem to love it there. Lovely. Not sure why the Grandmother felt the need to tell me that, but that is one of the reasons I don't talk to her much. We rarely ever talk because the Grandfather, her husband, doesn't want us talking. When I do talk to her, which, is not that often, I tried to keep it to other stuff besides ex.
I keep having these dreams lately that ex and ow are getting married and she is pregnant. Don't know what that is all about.
I do know that I no longer love ex. I have no desire to want him back. I do miss the old husband but I know he is not coming back. I honestly believe that most MLCers do not come back. Sorry to any newbies reading this, but that's reality. Sure some come back, but those are usually the ones that keep some kind of connection. There is no connection with my ex and I.
Oh and I forgot to mention. Ex has never mentioned the ow or her name to me since he left. One day when he was picking the boys up he casually brings her up in a conversation. I quickly shut him down and said "I don't care to hear anything about her" and he kept talking. I said again, "I don't want to hear it" and then he told me I needed to get over him.
He needs to get over himself.
Well there is an update. I am sure I left out lots of stuff.
Ms. H, I'm glad you posted an update. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers and just hope that everything goes smoothly and you can settle on your "new" place next month. Just think, it's going to be all yours and your xh will not have the power to hold this new place over your head w/his idle threats.
As for him, he's got a lot of self discovery to do and you know what, many of them will not do the work. I have to agree w/you, many of them do not come back. Look at my little fruit cake...still living in fantasy land and still will not say the little shark's name around me, i.e., won't ever say "we did this or we did that". It's always "I this or that". Oh, well, they are the ones that truly lost out. Ms. H, you will go on and life will hold many good things for you. It's just getting to the other side that takes a long time. Once you are settled in your own place, things will begin to look up for you. Right now, you are in transition.
I'm sorry to read about your son's lyme situation. I do hope he's doing okay. I can't believe he's in school too. Where has the time gone? They grow up so fast!
I'm glad to see that you are still going to school. You'll do just fine and when you've got your degree...you'll be huge success. I've never doubted that one bit.
Please give the boys a hug and kiss for me and you take care of yourself.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
So glad to hear for you Miss H. You sound great. Good luck on your house, you deserve some stability and calmness.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
MissH, I am so glad you posted. I've been thinking about you. You sound like you're moving on with your life. I can tell just in the tone of your post that you have reached a new level of acceptance.
Glad to hear about the new house. That will be SO good for you! You can make it your own, completely... with none of those nasty memories of what was. Having your own place will be so empowering.
Please keep us posted.
Married 9 years Kids 5 and 6 Bomb 2006 H back and forth for a year M now back on track
MissH, It sounds best to not speak to X's grandmother much any more.
So very little regard for your feelings. I mean, why does she want to tell you such things? It is inconsiderate at the least and a sort of rub-your-face-in-it at worst.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
