Well, I was not able to reconcile with my H. I still miss him and love him but I am moving across the country soon as well. I made all the usual mistakes that pushed him away. He still refuses to communicate in any way. I am civil and pleasant but he won't talk to me, return emails, texts etc. I have asked him to please just tell me to my face that he doesn't love me, never loved me, to tell me he doesn't want to hear from me but nothing. I am still shocked. Everything was great for years. the memories are so hard. There are so many. He just walked away like I never exsisted. I would love some inspiration, experience, strength. Has anyone's H ever come back around after the divorce? I apoloize if this is in the wrong place.. I still find this a little confusing. Thank you all!
judeinla W 52 H 56 bomb dropped 6/17/16 H filed 7/2/16 Still Separated
Yes reconciliations can happen. Though I would say it tends to be much further down the road. It sounds as though you are still looking for some closure and understanding from your H. But hard as it is, I don't think that's very likely. My XH did try and give me some sort of insight - and it was along the lines of he loves me, I am beautiful and have been the best wife - but he knows he needs a new family now. I have to say, it didn't really help me much and I have made my own peace separate to him.
What's the best thing you can do now? In my opinion, it would be to let go completely and rebuild the best possible life you can for yourself. And do so without reference to him and without looking over your shoulder. Accept it was his choice to do this and you may never fully understand, but you can reflect on your own part in the relationship and learn for future relationships.
I don't say any of this because I feel the situation is hopeless. I say it because I think a WAS could well look back and find a LBS who sings, dances, gets out and about, works, looks nice, laughs - rather attractive. Much more so than someone who hasn't seemed able to move on, puts their life on hold and lets it pass them by...
So - how good your life is going to be going forward is all up to you Judela. And nothing to do with him. If anything changes - ie: if he did look back - you can always re-assess and wouldn't have hindered this by moving forward successfully alone...
Good luck and Carpe Diem!! Xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
